Customer Reviews

When Is Enough Enough: What You Can Do If You Never Feel Satisfied

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4 star:		(1)
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Nine core issues are discussed as underlying chronic discontent or "never enough" thinking. The authors are both therapists and present the issues as questions commonly asked by their clients. "Why do I always feel like something is missing?" is shown to be a search for self. "Why don't I follow through on my dreams?" can mask the search for purpose. "Why is it that nothing makes me happy for long?" calls for a search for validation. The search for trust lies behind the question "Why can't I just relax?", and the search for competence lurks beneath "Why am I so bored and restless?" "Why can't I find the right person?" translates to the search for a mirror. "Why do I always end up getting less than I give?" calls for a search for control. The search for identity underlies "Why can't I stop comparing myself to other people"? The last core issue is the search for safety, or "Why do I always want the one thing I can't have?" Guidelines for change and growth are discussed throughout each chapter, and the closing chapters pull together ideas so that satisfaction with one's life is seen as an achievable goal. Lots of thought-provoking ideas as well as Prescriptions for Change, and Thoughts & Questions given for each of the nine core issues.

I'm not usually keen on self-help books because I find that they tend to repeat themselves, use extensive anecdotal evidence or offer nothing but psychobabble. This one is different.

The authors really understand human nature. They go beyond the surface and ask us to pose difficult questions to ourselves about why we repeat certain behaviors or what is causing us to be unfulfilled at work and relationships, and in other areas of our life.

The book covers a wide range of territory and is well worth reading, especially if one takes the time to do the exercises and think about what might be causing him or her to be stuck and routinely unable to feel satisfied.

My only complaint would be that there was a little too much emphasis placed on parenting and early childhood experiences. Not everyone is damaged in childhood. Other life events can occur in adulthood that can be traumatic and can alter one's self image and self-esteem.

Other than that, this is a thoroughly enjoyable and insightful read.

Sigrid Macdonald
Author of D'Amour Road

I was pleasantly surprised to find this book helpful. At first I did not think my situation applied, but the examples they give show the many ways a characteristic can look on different people. It was very enlightening to see myself in others. It was also helpful to connect all these different habits and traits into a cohesive whole. If it had done just that I would have been pleased, but they went further- helping me to see not only what I do, and why, but what I can do to change matters for the better. I have tried some of the exercises in each chapter, over a month's time. I found they helped me uncover more and more information. Taking it in small chunks and revisiting it over time seems to have loosened information that had been dormant inside me for quite some time. I want to thank the authors of this book for putting all of their years of experience onto the page for me to learn from. I give this book my highest recommendation!

Not perfect but pretty close...full of compassionate insights and examples to help you identify and work through various "blockages" that plague many of us from time to time (and I read a lot of self-help books so I know enough to weed out the non-helpful c**p).

Also easily read only going to those chapters that you think pertain to youself (doesn't need to be read sequentially).

As a coach, I use this book to help my clients identify the sources of their perfectionism. I've also found it helpful personally in dealing with my own tendencies towards perfectionism. I also found the content helpful, once the source is identified, of knowing how to best empathize with the client's dilemma so that they have the energy to let go of their perfectionism. I teach a class to new coaches and always include this book on the recommended reading list.