Customer Reviews

When a Family Member Has Dementia: Steps to Becoming a Resilient Caregiver

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I work in the area of Alzheimer's research and have often been asked to help family members with caregiving ideas. I will wholeheartedly recommend this book as it is written with amazing compassion and warmth. In fact, you don't have to be a person caring for someone with dementia. The lessons in this book are valuable for everyone (D-don't argue; A-accept; N-nurture yourself; C-create novel solutions; E-enjoy the moment). However when dealing with a dementia, these reminders are even more important.

This publication of this book could not have been more timely. Medical advancements and the aging baby boomers will result in families assuming greater responsibilities in caring for their relatives who are inflicted with dementia or Alzheimer's disease.

Dr. McCurry extensive clinical experience is evident throughout the book. She provides very comprehensive advice in meeting the challenges that arise during the care giving process. Her first chapter explains why resilience matters, noting that it can improve quality of life for both the demented individual and his/her caregiver. Achieving resilience is then described through the D.A.N.C.E. program (D-don't argue; A-accept the disease; N-nurture yourself; C-create novel solutions; E-enjoy the moment). Each step is further illustrated by many clinical examples of individuals and families overcoming difficult situations. She encourages caregivers to give forth their best effort and be flexible in their approach. Her empathetic writing style offers encouragement to the reader and a sense of hope.

Dr. McCurry provides a complete list of resources that are available to caregivers. Professionals will find many ideas and techniques to help families stay involved with their loved one.

Whether it is through a friend, a neighbor, a spouse, a parent, or even ourselves, everyone will be affected by dementia at some point in their lives. In her book, Dr. McCurry helps us to understand the challenges of caregiving and the surprising joys along the journey through dementia. Most helpful are the specific techniques provided to help improve the quality of life for both the caregiver and the patient. It is obvious this book was written by someone who truly cares, and who understands how dementia affects us all. This book is a "must read" for all caregivers.

It's all about perspective. As a caregiver of a demented family member, it is easy to get mired down with the frustrations, loneliness and challenges of daily routines. Susan McCurry's book reminded me that by taking care of myself, I am able to provide a better quality of care for my loved one. She provides numerous case studies from her clinical practice of creative problem solving by family members. She provides exercises to encourage new perspectives. And, what I appreciated most, was her committment to the value of caregiving - appreciating the moments no one else will ever know, the privilege of being there for those special moments. And isn't that why we do it? Thanks for reminding me, Dr. McCurry.

Susan McCurry chronicles with humor and compassion the pitfalls and rewards of caring for a loved one with dementia. Beautifully written in a style accessible by lay person or professional, this book offers hope and practical advice for the many of us living as caregivers of family members. Dr. McCurry's observations, interviews, and sage suggestions give one hope for maintaining personal balance in an everchanging, emotional, and oft times perplexing relationship. In reading this book not only did I find validation and support in caring for my father, many of the ideas are applicable to improving any relationship.

This book exudes sensitivity to the particular challenges caregivers of persons with dementia face. The examples of true life situations, step by step samples of building resiliency and exercises at the end of each chapter make this a must have book for every caregiver. I have shared the story of the caregiver dancing his loved one into the shower with our local Alzheimer's and Related Dementia's Support Group where it was very well received. Some members were eager to try this suggestion and others in the book with their loved ones

The author presents a framework for practical and creative solutions to the various possible situations one will, or perhaps might, encounter in caring for a someone with dementia. McCurry offers a dementia D.A.N.C.E. encouraging respect and gratitude, plus concrete exercises to strengthen one's ability to cope. Beautifully and clearly written, this book is as much a "bible" for dementia caregivers as the 36-Hour-Day.

WHEN A FAMILY MEMBER HAS DEMENTIA: STEPS TO BECOMING A RESILIENT CAREGIVER teaches caregivers how to take advantage of their own unique inner resources to overcome the special challenges of dementia in a loved one. But it does more than encourage inner resilience: chapters provide specific tips and tools for developing inner resources and strategies, and offer five core principles which link these strategies to life. Vignettes blend with practical tip applications.

Diane C. Donovan

California Bookwatch