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When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens About Grieving & Healing Paperback – April 15, 2005

5 out of 5 stars 17 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 6 Up–In this update of a 1994 publication, 16 short chapters deliver helpful information on subjects including: How can I stand the pain? How should I be acting? What is ‘normal'? What if I can't handle my grief on my own? and How can I find a counselor or a therapist? Interspersed throughout the book, and placed over muted black-and-white photos of young adults from a variety of ethnic backgrounds, are quotes by teenagers who have experienced grief. The new illustrations make this edition more accessible than the earlier one. Quotes from well-known writers and philosophers give insight into the grieving process and healing. These statements allow readers to understand that they're not alone. Other topics covered include guilt, anger, confusion, fear, and numbness; the information offered reassures readers that these are all valid emotions. This edition also addresses loss through violence. Scattered throughout are pages with backgrounds that look like cork bulletin boards, which have suggestions or questions pinned to them. This compassionate, user-friendly book lists pages of resources and suggested reading, and should be made available to teens.–Maryann H. Owen, Racine Public Library, WI
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“Death is difficult for people of all ages, but it often hits teens especially hard because of their emotional volatility. This book gives voice to their feelings, explains why they have them and offers tips on how to work through the pain.”
—Youth Today


“Makes learning how to grieve as painless and soothing as possible. . . . Gootman’s non-preachy and compassionate book gently handles this sensitive topic.” —NEA Today


“A tool with compassion and genuine understanding with advice that a grieving teen needs. . . .This book should be on the shelf of any parent, teacher, counselor, or youth worker.”—Youthworker


“A great starting place for young people who are hurting.”—Voice of Youth Advocates


 “The new illustrations make this edition more accessible than the earlier one . . . This compassionate, user-friendly book . . . should be made available to teens.” —School Library Journal



“This compassionate, user-friendly book lists pages of resources and suggested reading, and should be made available to teens.”—School Library Journal



Recommended Books for the Reluctant YA Reader--American Library Association



Books for the Teen Age--New York Public Library

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 128 pages
  • Publisher: Free Spirit Publishing; Revised edition (April 15, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1575421704
  • ISBN-13: 978-1575421704
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.3 x 7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #399,468 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Marilyn E. Gootman is the founder of Gootman Education Associates, an educational consulting company that provides workshops about successful strategies for teaching and parenting. She's known for her advocacy on behalf of children, teachers, and parents and has been interviewed on CNN, MSNBC, CBS, Public Radio as well as local radio and television shows throughout the U.S. and Canada.

She was born in Boston, Massachusetts and holds undergraduate degrees from Simmons College and Hebrew College, an M.A. from Brandeis University and an Ed.D. from the University of Georgia. In her 35-year career, she has taught and mentored in schools ranging from the elementary to the university level.

She lives with her university-professor husband, Elliot, in Athens, Georgia, where they raised their two daughters and son. They enjoy frequent visits with their three delightful grandsons.

Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This book reassures teens who have lost a friend that the "feelings" they are experiencing are normal and expected in the grief process. Dr. Gootman gets this message across in a compassionate manner. The book is short and easy-to-read. Its message is one of comfort and understanding. This book should be in the library of every youth minister and guidance counselor.
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Format: Paperback
I just recently lost a close friend to a car accident and reading this book made me feel like I wasn't alone. So many of the teen quotes from the book were exactly what I was thinking. A lot of the things the book said showed me that I wasn't alone and that so many people were feeling the same thing. I'm passing the book around to friends who've also shared the same loss. I suggest this book to ANYONE who's suffered a loss, of a friend, a parent, a lover, a sibling, a son or daughter, just any loss. It really helped and I'm glad there's a book like this out there.
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Format: Paperback
A simple book, just the right length, that answers all the questions teens have at this difficult time... plus the questions they are too scared to ask. With quotes from other teens, feelings and facts, permission to feel, to cry, to be scared, and most importantly, permission to go on.
This book is excellent for teens, pre-teens, and even adults facing the death of a friend.
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Format: Paperback
I bought this book for my 18 year old brother after his best friend died tragically. I left it in his room, feeling it would be awkward to give it to him directly. He was 'too tough' to cry at that point. A few days later my mom told me that there was an empty tissue box by his bed, the tissues used and crumpled around it. A corner of the book stuck out from under his mattress. I didn't read the entire book myself- I looked through parts of it before buying it. Some pages featured a simple quote or a short paragraph. Others were filled with words from teens who had experienced similar loss. I was pleased that the book itself was not only small in size, but that each page contained just enough material for a grieving teen to digest without being overwhelming. This book allowed my brother to, at least temporarily, take off his mask of bravery and simply cry over the loss of his friend. That deserves five stars from me.
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By A Customer on October 9, 1998
Format: Paperback
This book is welcome as a quick read for students who are grieving. There is a real need for books on grief, especially how children cope with grief, because it often manifests in ways that are different from adult grief.
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Format: Paperback
This book helped me a lost my sister an cousin that were sixteen in a car accident a year ago this book helped me relize things i needed to know an how to get help! The hardest things are there birthdays an christmas they are not there but i pray to them an it still feels like they are around ! i didnt want to talk to my mom or dad about it so i talked to my friends an cousins aboout it they understood what happened! My friends noticed a change in me after reading this book they thought it really helped me but on somedays all i think about is what happened an what i saw so then i remembered the book said to think of happy moments an i did this book saved me!!!
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By A Customer on June 9, 1999
Format: Paperback
My neice lost a best friend. Both were l7 at the time. I ordered this book for her to read. Well- written and to the point.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I read this before giving it to my daughter who lost a very close friend 4 years ago when she was 12 years old. She is still struggling with he grieving process and this book was recommended to me by someone at the Highmark Caring Place. There is little available to kids/teens who have lost a friend. This booklets them know that what they are feeling and going through is "normal". It was a very easy read. I would also recommend "The Grieving Teen: A Guide for Teenagers and Their Friends" by Helen Fitzgerald.
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