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106 of 107 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
An encouraging, very real help in struggling with sexual sin, March 23, 2000
This review is from: When Good Men Are Tempted (Paperback)
When Good Men Are Tempted is an incredibly readable andpersonable chat with the author about struggles with lust andtemptation that men face daily. Bill Perkins comes alongside the reader, puts his arm around their shoulders and begins talking about the reality of being sinful men in this world, and what we can do to be pure. As you tentatively move into the first chapter you'll notice right away there is no pretense or naiveté here. "It would be nice if religious devotion freed us from the threat of sexual compulsions," Rev. Perkins writes. "It doesn't."(p.38) Also wonderfully absent is the trace of false victory often sensed while reading other works by Christian authors on the subject of sexual temptation. Ten pages into this book, you will understand that this man has been there and that he continues to pursue God's purity for his life every day, aware that the enemy with his tools of temptation is still right there with him, as with each of us, waiting for an opportunity. With chapter titles like, "Why Naked Women Look So Good" and "Dragging [your struggle] Into the Light", Rev. Perkins discusses with the reader why lust is so powerful and resilient, clinging to us in spite of our best intentions. He offers terrific encouragement to men with plenty of humor, and exposes the subtle but deadly arrows of distraction flying all around that can derail us as we seek to live holy lives. But don't expect easy or palatable answers. Rev. Perkins presents his experiences combined with illustrative stories and clinical data, all wrapped together with uncompromising truth about who we are as men: "...as sinners, we're all contaminated with evil...if we embrace [the truth], we'll have to face those nasty secrets about our family and ourselves. These secrets are the source of your shame. They are the reason you don't believe anybody would love you if they really knew you." (p.70) Bill Perkins graciously and transparently shared his heart throughout this book, making his marvelous insights and simple empathy impact me like no other work I have ever read on this subject. I encourage any man who is frustrated with his own inability to resist the sin of sexual impurity to spend the few dollars and grab this down-to-earth, immensely helpful and edifying book.
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27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Good Guidelines For Winning The Battle, January 27, 2004
This review is from: When Good Men Are Tempted (Paperback)
After reviewing the deeply flawed "Every Man's Battle I mentioned that I would read another book with the same theme of sexual purity. To that end I purchased "When Good Men Are Tempted" by Bill Perkins. It is an honest and often disturbing look at the subject. The book claims that "Bill Perkins details a plan for sexual integrity - one that works. He shows men how to achieve a purity that will preserve the sanctity of their marriages, the security of their families, the vitality of their walks with God, and the strength of their relationships with their brothers in Christ." The book begins with an attempt to understand the struggle men face. Perkins shows why naked women look so good and why other naked women look even better than our wives. He speaks of the addictive cycle of trying to repeat "young love" or our first sexual experiences. We want to be able to relive the original excitement we felt during those often illicit experiences. He illustrates these concepts with the example of Samson. The author's solution to this problem surrounding lust is simply to raise the white flag. We need to surrender to God and admit the problem rather than run from it or try to hide it. Lust, he says, cannot be overpowered, reformed or starved. It needs to be dealt with and dealt with now! To be dealt with it needs to be dragged into the light so we can deal with the shame and guilt. We need to admit specific sins to God and ask Him for His forgiveness. The close of this section contains a chapter regarding families of origin. This chapter is confusing and often left me confused as the author discussed the codependent roles we assumed as part of our families and how this leads to problems with purity later in life. Having admitted the struggle, we are now able to find freedom. To do this we must choose our master and count the cost of the one we will choose. To cease a lifestyle of lust the cost of continuing needs to be higher than the cost of quitting. We need to see that continuing in a lifestyle will have consequences in our relationships with our families, our spouses and most importantly, with God. We need to realize that God can fix us and that He wants to fix us. As He fixes us He will help us discover the new men we are through Him. Through Him we have a new perspective, new presence and new power. With these we can now begin to break the addictive cycle that continually leads us to sin. The practical suggestions the author provides are: memorize Scripture, call on God and find what rituals lead us to sin and learn to break those rituals. The final section focuses mostly on building accountability relationships with other men. Every man needs ally himself with a small group of men who can help him win the battle against lust by holding him accountable. There is a small section about sex and ideas for spicing up a sex life, followed by a chapter detailing some "tools for tight corners" that can be used in a moment of weakness. The book is written in a personable way that leaves the reader feeling like he has had a personal chat with the author. Perkins admits his own weaknesses, leaving the reader comfortable admitting his own. Perhaps the greatest strength in this book is the emphasis on the "why" of sexual temptation. Having an understanding of the reasons behind temptation gives a solid perspective on how to deal with it. The author does not attempt to blame our lust on Satan, but emphasizes that our sin is ultimately our own and we need to deal with it. If the emphasis on the "why" is the strong point of the book, I would suggest that the "how" is the weak point. It may be, though, that I am looking for a magical key to stopping sinful behavior. Still, as with Every Man's Battle I am left hoping that God truly can remove this sin, rather than just masking it and helping us deal with it time and time again. In the end, this book does a far better job of dealing with the subject than "Every Man's Battle" and it receives my recommendation.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
WINNING THE BATTLE OF TEMPTATION, January 29, 2006
This review is from: When Good Men Are Tempted (Paperback)
Pastor Bill Perkins produced a high quality book on why men succumb to sexual temptations and how they can win the battle against lust. The book begins with an outline of the struggles encountered by men with respect to temptation. The author explains why naked women look so beautiful and in particular, why other women look better than our wives. He explains why men often succumb to lust and why it can be very addictive.
The author comes up with practical suggestions that should help men comprehend the immense power of sexual temptation and how to overcome them. One major step forward is to admit the problem if lust has taken control instead of hiding it. Despite men falling victim to lust and temptation, the author explains that God still loves us and is ready to assist in overcoming the problem.
Among the insightful solutions the author suggests is for men to cultivate buddyship, whereby men develop a strong relationship with a small group of other men, where they share their problems, open up and reveal the secrets that may be bringing shame and guilt to their lives. Together as buddies, and with the help of earnest prayers, they can be helped to overcome the problems with lust and temptation.
I, however, see the possibility of some women readers getting the impression that Christian men see women as sexual objects. This would be unfortunate as the author's message is clear and directed to a particular audience, men, focused on helping those men afflicted with lust and temptation to overcome this menace and not in any way to degrade women.
The author uses a simple writing style that makes the book readable and makes the reader understand the temptations that men are subjected to on a daily basis. The author provides an honest and insightful presentation of why good men are tempted and how they can overcome this problem. The book is recommended reading by all men.
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