Customer Reviews

When You Live with a Messie

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Felton helps you understand yourself and the people you live with. There are a hundred books of how-tos and helpful hints; hers are about making yourself actually -do- something! This one is both helpful and supportive, for a person (whether messy or not) who lives with a Messie.

I bought this book hoping it would help me find ways to get my husband to help out around the house. He is a slob. He is a packrat who leaves his stuff everywhere, never puts anything back when he's done with it and basically watches TV all evening while I clean up. The solution according to this book? I should just not say anything to him and clean it up myself! I tried it and all it got me was MORE work to do around the house! The author suggests breaking down household chores by having each spouse rank them 1-10 by how important having the chore done is to them. The spouse who ranks the chore higher is then responsible for that chore. Problem is, when you have a spouse who ranks everything "1", then you are stuck doing EVERYTHING and the spouse feels justified. After all, that's the advice from the "expert" after all! Following this book's advice has just made the situation far worse in my household. I am tired, worn out and barely keeping my head above water as far as the housework is concerned. How exactly does this book's philosophy help me? It just makes things more pleasant for the "Messie" while the "MessieMate" gets screwed! If you're looking for real solutions to getting help around the house, don't waste your time or money on this book!

This book will liberate you from the thinking that makes you believe you have to keep after the messie person in your life and that it is somehow all your responsibility. It isn't. It's theirs!

This book gives you straight talk about what you should tolerate, and what you shouldn't, and points out that many of us with messie spouses have a great deal of difficulty setting personal boundaries. The author ties a messie house and messie spouse into our own low self-concept. Once you realize that all of it is related, you will be able to decide which boundaries are appropriate, what you CAN live with, and what you SHOULDN"T live with. This book changed my life. I think it will change yours too.