When Love Goes Wrong: What to Do When You Can't Do Anything Right [Paperback]

Ann Jones (Author), Susan Schechter (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 14, 1993

Millions of women each year find themselves in relationships with controlling or abusive partners and don't know what to do, or even what's wrong. A woman may feel anxious, inadequate, intimidated -- and as if she is walking on tiptoe. And she may find herself trying harder and harder to make things right without ever being successful. Ann Jones and Susan Schechter bring together their more than fifteen years of experience working with women in abusive relationships to offer an eyeopening new analysis of controlling partners and a wealth of empowering information for women who want to change their lives for the better. Full of moving first-person stories, When Love Goes Wrong shows women what their options are in or out of the relationship, provides concrete guidance on finding safety and support for themselves and their children, and includes a comprehensive list of agencies offering information or assistance.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Abusive relationships are more common than many women think, charge Jones ( Women Who Kill ) and Schechter ( Women and Male Violence ). They argue that even men who have never been physically violent toward their partners may be abusers. Constant criticism, for example, is a nonphysical method of control that, if thwarted, may escalate into violence. Therefore, the authors state, a woman married to a manipulative or overly critical man is in a potentially dangerous situation and should make plans to prevent harm to herself and her children. The book's first half, which includes case histories, provides guidelines to help women determine if they are in an abusive relationship. The second section gives advice on how to escape and where to find emergency help, legal services and financial support systems. Of great importance for abused women and professionals who counsel them. Author tour.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

A helpful book for the woman who feels unsafe in her relationship. How to identify and escape the partner who uses various types of force to exert control.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 368 pages
• Publisher: Harper Perennial (April 14, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060923695
• ISBN-13: 978-0060923693
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #455,786 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

49 of 51 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Valuable Resource For Any Woman in an Abusive Relationship!, May 5, 2000

By 

Melanie (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: When Love Goes Wrong: What to Do When You Can't Do Anything Right (Paperback)

This book definitely saved my sanity and quite possibly saved my life. I bought it several years ago when I didn't know what was wrong with my relationship, but I knew something was - and I couldn't seem to fix it. "When Love Goes Wrong" named the problem correctly : domestic abuse. Not only that, this book helped me see that what was happening to me was NOT my fault! This book is extremely thorough, offering tips and suggestions on what to do if you find yourself in this situation, plus memoirs from other women that help you feel like you're not alone. It's an extremely easy-to-read and engaging book, and offers stories and sources of support for women from all races and economic backgrounds, plus a resource for lesbians who find themselves in abusive relationships. One thing I like is that the tone is nonjudgemental - it even offers tips if you decide to stay with your partner! The book is definitely feminist in tone. I personally find that a good thing, but if you don't, the authors DO make it clear that there are several social theories of abuse, and they explain why they choose to go with the feminist view. It definitely comes off as an honest book, and certainly could save many women's lives.

Me, now that I'm two years out of my abusive relationship, I occasionally re-read it to see how far I've come!

21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is saving my sanity if not my life!, January 2, 2001

By 

"kaitie" (Idaho) - See all my reviews

This review is from: When Love Goes Wrong: What to Do When You Can't Do Anything Right (Paperback)

This book is wonderful, since it finally pointed out all of my feelings of hopelessness and confusion where I wasn't sure where it was coming from. All my excuses for staying with my abusive partner are in this book, and when I finally got too overwhelmed with the beginning of the book, I jumped ahead to the "When You Choose To Leave" because I just left him again almost a month ago. (You can easily jump around in this book and not feel like you've missed something.) I'm hoping that this book will help pull me through the tough times and give me enough courage to seek professional help for what he's done to me. So far I can't talk about it to more than a few people, because I feel ashamed, but I also feel hope, because if the women in this book could get their lives together in worse situations than mine, then so can I! Also, it gives great advice on where to find housing and financial help if you need it. I wasn't even sure what questions to ask in applying for assistance, but I just went back to the book, and it explained it out for me, and that gave me the courage to make a few more phone calls and figure the system out. What I've learned, sadly, is that although I'm not alone, I'm also in good company with beautiful human spirits.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Recommend to my clients who are in abusive relationships, February 23, 2000

By 

Therapist in Maine (Belfast, Maine) - See all my reviews

This review is from: When Love Goes Wrong: What to Do When You Can't Do Anything Right (Paperback)

As a substance abuse counselor who works with many abused women who are in relationships with emotionally and mentally abusive partners, I recommend this book to each of them and have found it to be a helpful way to validate and empower them to make healthier decisions about their life situation. For most women this book is the first opportunity to see stories that look much like their own life story and can begin the journey to safety and a new lifestyle.