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When Love Meets Fear: How to Become Defense-Less and Resource-Full [Kindle Edition]

David Richo
4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)

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Kindle Edition $10.49  
Kindle Edition, April 30, 1997 $10.49  
Paperback $14.62  
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Book Description

Examines the deepest roots of fear and how it limits our ability to act and fulfill our greatest potential.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

David Richo is a psychotherapist in private practice in Santa Barbara, CA. He earned his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in Santa Monica. Dr. Richo has been a teacher at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur. He has also written How to Be an Adult (Paulist Press).

Product Details

  • File Size: 1629 KB
  • Print Length: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Paulist Pr (April 30, 1997)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0053HNEBW
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #691,592 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
4.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
98 of 98 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Richo's best book November 26, 2006
By Tony
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Having first read Richo's "How to be an Adult," calling When Love Meets Fear: How to Become Defense-Less and Resource-Full his "best book" is quite a statement. The former is a wonderful and life changing tome that teaches the keys to meaningful relationships with others.

When Love Meets Fear builds on that message with a book expressly on the subject of fear. The root of anger, frustration and stonewalling in relationships, understanding and accepting our fear is our greatest journey in life.

One caution: This book takes many sittings to read properly. I was able to read only a few pages then I needed to put the book down and spend a day or two thinking about what I had just read. Almost like magic, I found myself time and again reading just the few pages I most needed to hear as I worked my way through.
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92 of 94 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars If you live in fear order this today! June 18, 2004
By 2mal
I cannot say enough good things about this book. I have tried a lot of self-help techniques but the ones contained in this book are unlike any I've encountered.
The biggest lesson I got out of this book is that so many of our problems nowadays occur because we had painful experiences earlier in life but instead of facing them and accepting the ramifications - we chose to lie to ourselves instead. Richo explains the most common lies: life is just, suffering is avoidable, things don't change, etc.
I understand from this book that it is much better to just experience those original painful feelings instead of spending your life overanalyzing every minute of every day trying to make the world something it is not.
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65 of 67 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The key to life. December 16, 2003
By A Customer
This book simply explains the key to happiness. It is to let go of our fears, which is at the root of unhappiness, hate, aggression, apathy, and everything negative in the world. Once we are able to do that, we can open our hearts and embrace each other with love, respect, empathy, hope and forgiveness. It is a simple idea but something very difficult to do because our fears run very very deep within us all. Once we are able to do this to some extent, we try to help others do the same. It is simply the mission of all of our lives, whether we are aware of it or not. When you think about it, nothing else really matters as much. This is what this book tries to help us understand. It is a wonderful message! In another excellent book called "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato, the author explains how this works in relation to human development and evolution. It shows us how we consciously begin living this life when we are naturally ready for it. These books are absolutely exquisite!
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36 of 38 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars THIS BOOK REALLY HELPED May 3, 2001
By A Customer
i have been afraid about many things and in many ways especially about intimacy. this book really helped my get over my fears. i did the very practical exercises the author recommended and i did notice a reduction in my fear-based style of living. this is a handbook on how to get on with life more courageously. and my relationship is working better too.
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29 of 30 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Finding this book when I did was the perfect psychological/spiritual prescription for helping to heal, not only some old fears, but also some new surprise anxiety panics. It helped turn my fears into calm emotions of self-knowing and self-acceptance. I sleep better at night since having read this book.
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33 of 35 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
This book has been incredibly helpful on my journey of self discovery. Like Richo's earlier book, How to Be an Adult, this is an intelligent, well-written, and fascinating exploration of deep psychological processes. This is a book I pick up and refer to over and over again. I love the quotes peppered thoughout. Finally, a self-help book that really helps!
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best!!! May 6, 2007
I have not even read half of this book yet, and I can already say that it has helped me change my self and my life. It has such insight and wisdom in it - I can't say enough about how wonderful it is. I have been working on the issues in this book for around twenty years, and I only wish I had bought it twenty years ago. If you are dealing with any of the problems this book is about (and if you are human, you probably are to some degree), do yourself a favor and get this book!
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A marvelous descent into The Void October 31, 2010
David Richo is one of my most favorite authors in the field of psychology & spirituality. His attitude towards life is deeply soaked in mystic wisdoms, ancient insights and contemporary knowledge.

In most of his works Richo subtly combines Buddhism and the wisdom tradition within Christianity with his thoughts and experiences as a practicing psychologist. Yet, never does he push any agenda, apart from offering his readers the tools to find their own ways out of issues, themes or problems that might have arisen in their lives.

This book, 'When love meets fear', is for me one of hist best. I must admit though, that the first time I read it, it somehow fell of me like water off a duck's back. somehow it ddn't resonate, and I couldn't get what he was trying to say.

Then, some years later, I read it again. And it hit home, hard. Maybe I had grown mature enough to see what he was trying to say; maybe it was because I found myself in a deep-dark place when I read it. Especially the third chapter, about the 'void' which is depression at its worst, struck a chord in me. The way in which Richo made connections to the lessons of Buddhism and mysticism about 'emptiness' and 'the void' allowed me to see the first glimpses of light in which was a hectically dark time.

For the first time in my life was I able to see my own 'descent into darkness' not as something 'absurd' or 'pathetic', but as a process through which every conscious adult will have to step to actually transform into a mature personality.

The second part of his book, with practical advise, made not much of an impression on me. Yet, the offering of 'the void' and the way in which Richo describes it make this book one of the most seriously abused books I have in my library.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Chock Full of Truly Useful Information
The book grabbed me in the first few pages:

"Fear is the only obstacle to love. So working through our personal fears is the path to loving and being loved. Read more
Published 3 days ago by kthaw
5.0 out of 5 stars Not just another DIY help guide
This book is exactly the guide I needed to lead a successful and satisfying life I have suffered from anxiety my whole life, but this book would help anyone lead a fulfilling life. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Connie D
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Published 8 months ago by Fred Lippert
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Like everything fron Richo, great!
Published 9 months ago by Rosalia Rodríguez García
5.0 out of 5 stars The best self help book ever
I love this book. We are studying it in a book group. It's taking us to a deeper places in our lives and helping all of us discuss the realities of our fears and resistance. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Desert Flower
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic Book!
Author David Richo gives readers tools which systematically break down the ways in which we defeat ourselves with fear, allowing for recovery from past and present hurts. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Julie Snider
3.0 out of 5 stars ok
You should buy his newer books. This one is not as well planned out, explained or in federal as good as his other book on fear. Read more
Published 22 months ago by Megan
4.0 out of 5 stars When Love Meets Fear
The book was extremely informative and met the criteria of information on a topic that I was interested in; great book
Published on April 19, 2013 by Raoul L Lefebvre
4.0 out of 5 stars His usual excellent work
A shame he is not in private practice near where we live. (Or maybe he writes better than he works with clients. Read more
Published on December 19, 2012 by JHDScot
5.0 out of 5 stars When Love Meets Fear
Can't save enough good things about this book! I want to read everything by David now. This book found me exactly when I needed it the most. Read more
Published on May 26, 2012 by Leilani
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More About the Author

David Richo, PhD, is a therapist and author who leads popular workshops on personal and spiritual growth.

He received his BA in psychology from Saint John's Seminary in Brighton, Massachusetts, in 1962, his MA in counseling psychology from Fairfield University in 1969, and his PhD in clinical psychology from Sierra University in 1984. Since 1976, Richo has been a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor in California. In addition to practicing psychotherapy, Richo teaches courses at Santa Barbara City College and the University of California Berkeley at Berkeley, and has taught at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, Pacifica Graduate Institute, and Santa Barbara Graduate Institute. He is a clinical supervisor for the Community Counseling Center in Santa Barbara, California.

Known for drawing on Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives in his work, Richo is the author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving and The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find in Embracing Them. He has also written When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships, Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power and Creativity of Your Dark Side, The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know, and Being True to Life: Poetic Paths to Personal Growth.

Richo lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco.


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