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When Love is Not Enough : A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD - Reactive Attachment Disorder Paperback – April, 1997

ISBN-13: 978-0970352507 ISBN-10: 0970352506 Edition: 0th

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"...so thorough, balanced and clear in describing these kids and your parental attitude...so effective in getting through to them..." -- Dan H.,Ph.D. -Attachment Therapist ME

"Your book is a breath of needed fresh air!" -- Glen B. -Parent -MT

"[This] book has been the first hopeful reading that I have come across...practical suggestions...an encouraging book..." -- Anne. M. -WA
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 117 pages
  • Publisher: Families By Design (April 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0970352506
  • ISBN-13: 978-0970352507
  • Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #159,007 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Terena Thomas, a gifted writer, uses her talent to share the stories of woe and wonder of her valiant family. She founded Hooves for the Heart therapeutic horseback riding program and is a top trouble shooter for Family Connections.

Customer Reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

53 of 62 people found the following review helpful By lotus locaste on March 14, 2005
Format: Paperback
This book is what many parents of RAD kids (children diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder) refer to as "the purple bible". Is it our sole source of guidance? Of COURSE not. In addition to "When Love is Not Enough", we have read Keck and Kupecky's "Adopting the Hurt Child", Cline and Fay's "Parenting with Love and Logic", Claudia Jewett's "Adopting the Older Child" and find wisdom in each.

That being said, it MUST be brought to the attention of everyone who parents a child dx'd with RAD that Nancy Thomas' guide is the most practical and helpful guide available.

In only 4 months, our lives with our adopted 13 year-old daughter (she came to live with us at age 11 and was diagonosed with RAD only 4 months ago) have changed radically. There is laughter and joy in our home again and she is making progress - she is HEALING.

To be sure, there have been hurdles to applying Ms. Thomas' methods, chiefly the fact that both my husband and I have careers and home-schooling is not an option. Additionally, our daughter's age (13 years old). It has not been easy and we continue to be challenged every day; however, through creatively customizing Ms. Thomas' methods to what our daughter is telling us that she needs (through her actions), she is experiencing REAL success and she is HEALING.

Parents of RAD kids, there are reviews here which disparage Nancy Thomas' methods in that they do not address respect for the child. I would like to remind these short-sighted individuals that respect is earned. Also, those children who do not respect themselves will certainly not be able to accept it from others. Following Nancy Thomas' guide affords children the opportunity to EARN respect - both from themselves and others.
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36 of 45 people found the following review helpful By Joseph H. Bell on February 9, 2005
Format: Paperback
Nancy L. Thomas has been critizied for lack of credentials. 20 years of experience with severely disturbed children sounds like pretty good credentials to me. It is the most depressing book I have ever read, but I am sure she is right on. Why, because our adopted son's treatment foster mother who has had 266 foster children used these techniques successfully on our son. We took the standard training, read the books by the credentialed experts and in three years have undone all of the good work of his foster mother. It will be very hard to regain that terratory, but I know we must. No, I would not like to live that way either as a parent or child, but I am willing to do so to save my son from what he is becoming. You may not like the book but my experience tells me it is correct.
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31 of 39 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 13, 2004
Format: Paperback
Someone has finally put what I live with into words. People did not believe what I said, because they saw a different part to my son, to the extent that they accused me of child abuse because I was "too strict". We have been using these strategies for just a few days, and we can already see a difference. I feel less stressed because I have ways of dealing with the behaviors that stressed me most. Any parent who has a child with ADHD, ODD, or RAD, should read this book several times. The methods may seem unconventional, but these are not conventional kids. I've lived with it for 5 years, and this is the first thing that's worked.
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26 of 34 people found the following review helpful By L. Maier on May 6, 2005
Format: Paperback
I find it interesting that only three of the negative reviews written were written by actual parents. All the rest were written by "professionals".

Being a foster parent and adoptive parent that is a professional, I have had to work with many therapist and social workers that know a lot of theory, but have never lived and worked 24/7 with a child that has RADs. I have listened to the Nancy Thomas' tapes and gone to her seminars. She is not a "cult", nor does she say everything she does is gospel. In fact, it's the opposite. She tells you, you need to have a profession therapist for you and your child at all times. A cult puts themself at the center and you can only go to them for answers. She tells you to not tackle this alone. Like most of life and books, everything in her book may not be for every child, but there is a lot you can benefit from. Overall she is teaching that what brings security and self esteem for a child is their learning to respect others and work within boundaries.

Her tapes and books do not address every issue that a child can have, but she does state that if a child has RADs there are normally other issues involved. Her book is not to diagnose every possible problem, it is addressing RAD, and again tells you to get professional help as a part of your program.

After working with children for as long as she has and having the results that she has you earn the right to be a professional. It is not the degree that makes you an expert in a field. There are many "professionals" that never earn that right.
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23 of 31 people found the following review helpful By Pamela Jones on November 28, 2000
Format: Paperback
When we adopted our two youngest children, we thought our training had prepared us for just about anything that might surface. We had not considered Reactive Attachment Disorder. Nancy Thomas' booklet is a must read for any parent who hopes to bring a child back from the desolation of Attachment Disorder. Her methods have restored peace and sanity to our household. Her contagious "attitude" for loving the children most people find unlovable has empowered us to reclaim our family. If you are dealing with RAD, you MUST have this book.
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