When Madness Comes Home: Help and Hope for the Children, Siblings, and Partners of the Mentally Ill [Hardcover]

Victoria Secunda (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1997

Providing a firsthand look at the effects of mental illness on families and friends, a compassionate resource provides emotional support and guidance for friends and family of the mentally ill. 50,000 first printing.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

When Madness Comes Home is a beautifully written, meticulously researched, well-organized book that is inflected by the author's special empathy as the sister of someone with schizophrenia. Its subtitle, Help and Hope for the Children, Siblings, and Partners of the Mentally Ill, is an accurate description of what a reader will find in its pages. She introduces herself with a painful passage about committing her sister for treatment, and then begins at the beginning: "Telling someone that there's mental illness in your family, and watching the reaction, is not for the fainthearted."

Secunda has interviewed scores of sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, and spouses of people afflicted with schizophrenia, manic-depressive disorder, debilitating depression, and other serious afflictions. She allows them to speak for themselves, while gently guiding the reader toward insights, coping strategies, knowledge, and compassion.

Tactfully avoiding criticism of parents or medical professionals, Secunda nonetheless makes it clear that her concerns lie elsewhere. Her only misstep is billing hers as the first "major" book to address "these other victims," when Julie Tallard Johnson, founder of the Sibling and Adult Children's Network of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, wrote the groundbreaking book, Hidden Victims: An Eight-Stage Healing Process for Families and Friends of the Mentally Ill, more than 10 years before. Secunda's own extensive bibliography and her many useful quotes amply recognize those who have examined this territory before her. Her book is wonderful, but we can be thankful that it is only one of a growing number written for those whose lives are often shattered but whose pain is still largely ignored. --Margaret Moorman

From Library Journal

This book deals primarily with those whom the author calls the "other victims"?the siblings and offspring of the mentally ill person (the chapter on the special problems of spouses seems to be an afterthought). While most other titles on dealing with a mentally ill relative do mention in passing the problems of other family members, journalist Secunda's (Women and Their Fathers, Dell, 1993) focus sets it apart. However, like the many other "adult children of dysfunctional families" books, it is completely unscientific. Everything from "codependence" to "inability to commit" is described as a result of growing up with an unstable relative?all based on nonrandom, anecdotal evidence. Nevertheless, there is an audience for this kind of book, so large and medium-sized public libraries may want to purchase.?Mary Ann Hughes, Neill P.L., Pullman, Wash.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 362 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion Books; 1st edition (May 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0786861711
• ISBN-13: 978-0786861712
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,390,844 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Beautiful if you have *DIAGNOSED* loved ones in treatment..., September 22, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: When Madness Comes Home: Help and Hope for the Children, Siblings, and Partners of the Mentally Ill (Hardcover)

This book is beautifully written and indispensable help for anyone affected by a loved one suffering a familiar *DIAGNOSED* illness that is being treated. But if you'll look down below at the first reader's review from June 1, 1997, I too have to stress that if you are trying to cope with loving someone who has borderline personality disorder, especially *UNDIAGNOSED* and untreated BPD (as it usually goes undiagnosed and untreated), then this book will not only not help you, it will only make you feel even more misunderstood and crazy yourself. The book that *will* help you more than you can imagine is STOP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason. Undiagnosed BPD is common to the point of epidemic, and high-functioning BPD sufferers are extremely unlikely to get help while enjoying destroying your life. If that is the help you are looking for, Kreger's book is the one to get.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Validating Book, August 9, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: When Madness Comes Home: Help and Hope for Families of the Mentally Ill (Paperback)

As an adult child of a parent suffering from severe depression, I found this book very helpful. This book was reassuring that I was not alone in my experience and it helped me to realize how this had affected my life. Too often, families of those with mental disorders are overlooked by both society and mental health professionals. Furthermore, the stigma associated with mental disorders isolates these family members even more. This book was very helpful for me.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Help for adult children and siblings, December 29, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: When Madness Comes Home: Help and Hope for Families of the Mentally Ill (Paperback)

As the daughter of a mentally ill mother, I found this book incredibly helpful in understanding the effect my mother's illness has had -- and continues to have -- on my family and on myself. I'd recommend this book especially if you find that even as an adult, you're still not at peace with your relative and your past, you can't bear to revisit your childhood, or you feel isolated, emotionally numb, and frightened for what the mental illness may mean for you and your own children.

_When Madness Comes Home_ shows how all these things are common patterns among the children and siblings of the mentally ill. Many of the same feelings, patterns of behavior and unresolved issues are shared by the children and siblings; yet most have never received any attention or guidance in coping. It's shocking that as far as the mental health system has progressed in treating the mentally ill, it has utterly failed to provide help for their *families*. This book may be the first step on the long, painful road to acceptance.

This book and _How to Cope with Mental Illness in Your Family_ by Diane T. Marsh, Ph.D. and Rex Dickens both offer good reading lists (the latter also has suggested reading for adolescents and children currently trying to cope with a mentally ill relative)...