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When I Married My Mother: A Daughter's Search for What Really Matters-and How She Found It Caring for Mama Jo
 
 
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When I Married My Mother: A Daughter's Search for What Really Matters-and How She Found It Caring for Mama Jo [Hardcover]

Jo Maeder (Author)
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)

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Hardcover, April 7, 2009 $20.06  

Book Description

April 7, 2009
Jo Maeder was an ambitious DJ in New York City when she did the unthinkable: she moved to the Bible Belt to look after her frail, estranged mother, who had long been a source of intense frustration. Maeder’s tumultuous journey from simply living with “Mama Jo” to learning to truly love her not only changed Maeder’s life, but also was the catalyst for pulling her long-fractured family together again. Though often rocky, their “marriage” was a triumph that taught her about life, faith, and what really matters.

With an estimated 34 million informal caregivers in the United States today, more and more adult children are finding themselves in similar circumstances. Poignant and refreshingly funny, Maeder’s story will resonate with this vast audience, providing an informative and inspirational roadmap for compassionate elder care.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

Northwest Observer, 4/10/09
“Takes an honest yet upbeat look at one family’s experience with intergenerational living and dealing with an aging and dying parent. It’s a story designed to evoke both laughter and tears.”

Tucson Citizen, 4/16/09
“[An] insightful, true-to-the-bone account.” 

St. Petersburg Times, 4/15/09
“Maeder brings sharp wit and a reporter’s investigative skills to her own experience of the growing trend of intergenerational households.”

Newark Star-Ledger, 4/36/09
“This account of the universally sad experience of slowly losing a parent is touching and often humorous, in no small part because Maeder understands the importance of telling good stories.”

Library Journal, 5/7/09
“Maeder is an engaging storyteller who conjures Alix Kates Shulman's A Good Enough Daughter. For caregivers and those in the sandwich generation coming to terms with their parents’ mortality."

New Orleans Times-Picayune, 5/1/09
“A witty and wily reframing of [the] age-old conflict…Maeder is insightful and sarcastic, humorous and heartfelt.”

Women’s Voices for Change, 5/6/09
“Honest and sweetly funny memoir…Maeder’s sharp wit makes it easy to laugh...Maeder’s candor and humor may comfort readers who’ve cared for an aging parent…This memoir [is] nearly impossible to put down.”

The Yummy List, 5/2/09
“With a wildly compassionate—especially to self—voice, Jo Maeder exhibits the sense of humor that makes her a live wire in the quick thinking world of personality radio, but also the better selves we all hope we embody...Maeder pitches a tent we can all find solace, acceptance and encouragement under. A genius read, but a life-affirming story.”

This Week’s Most Talked About Books, 5/8-14/09
“Everyone has a story to share about their upbringing. But few can tell a story as hilarious and as down-home as Jo Maeder… This light-hearted memoir captures your heart, along with the complicated, intergenerational mother-daughter dance of life. Maeder proves it’s never too late to make peace with your mother…and yourself.”

New York Daily News, 5/7/09
“If you’re looking for a different kind of Mother’s Day gift, or just a nice story on the evergreen subject of mothers, you might want to consider [this] new book by Jo Maeder…It’s not a radio book per se, but it’s clearly coming from a rock ‘n’ roll radio soul, and its told in a classic radio way—close your eyes and you feel like you’re there.”

Working Mother
“The book haunted me, but not in a bad way. Instead, long after I closed the cover, I pictured the moments [Maeder] shared so vividly…I was moved to tears.”

Roxboro Courier-Times, 5/9/09
“Maeder offers touching book about caring for elderly parent…A wonderful, witty, happy-and-sad, very touching memoir…Read this book if you have an aging parent. Read this book if you’ve cared for an aging parent or other elderly person. Read this book if you’ve lost your parents. It is well-written and insightful. It is funny and thought-provoking. It is delightful and heartbreaking at the same time. Read this book.”

Yes! Weekly, 5/13/09
“[A] heartfelt and humorous memoir…speaks volumes about the relationship between parent and child…The reader truly gets a sense of who Mama Jo was, who Jo Maeder is, and the ties that bind them.”

Augusta Metro Spirit, 9/19
“A thrilling narrative ripe with gripping emotion and conflict…A stunning glance of the possibilities and problems of modern family life.”

Maya Angelou, Author
"This book is important to every mother and daughter, and to every woman who wants to be one."

About the Author

Jo Maeder was a DJ on New York’s and Z100, and has written for the New York Times and More magazine. She lives New York.

www.jomaeder.com


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Da Capo Press; 1 edition (April 7, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0306817950
  • ISBN-13: 978-0306817953
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.8 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #736,681 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Who knew caring for my declining, doll-collecting, hoarder mother would turn into the adventure of a lifetime? Throw in bingo playin' drag queens in the Bible Belt, long-standing family feuds, and unresolved guilt in every direction and you've got "When I Married My Mother." Many have told me this book helped them; from their dread of dealing with this with their own parents, to what to do with piles of junk (theirs and that of others),to current family strife. There's a Mama Jo in all of our lives. Embrace it! You might find love blooms and laughter erupts in the most unlikely of situations.

 

Customer Reviews

29 Reviews
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 (27)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.9 out of 5 stars (29 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars I Loved This Book!, June 17, 2009
By 
Noraza (Greensboro, NC) - See all my reviews
This review is from: When I Married My Mother: A Daughter's Search for What Really Matters-and How She Found It Caring for Mama Jo (Hardcover)
Sometimes books can really change your life. When I Married My Mother by Jo Maeder is one of those books. First, the title got me by asking, "What does that mean?" and then once I realized what it was about, I knew I had to read it.

What got me hooked was that Jo had a tenuous relationship with her mother. I have had one with my step-mother, too. She was the only mother I knew since my mother died during my birth. I could go on for hours how my step-mother was "not what I wanted in a mother," but I won't. What I did ask myself is: if Jo can heal a relationship with her mother, why can't I?

While I was reading the book, I brought it on a visit with my step-mother. She asked what I was reading and I told her. As I remembered Jo's magic with her mother, something shifted in me, and I realized my old way of thinking needed to leave so my step-mom and I could created magic, too. It worked! It was a huge leap into trying to heal a deep wound. It became a magical weekend from then on. And as I left, she said to me as she hugged me tightly, "I can't ever remember having such a good weekend with you as I did this time! You know I am going to miss you." I almost fell over! I had never heard those worlds before.

When I Married My Mother is written with insight, humor, and honesty. I think everyone who has a "mommy" issue could grow from Jo's wisdom. As she says, "If you're not right with your mama, you probably won't be right with anyone." I have thought about that one sentence for awhile now. It has brought me to action to change my ways; as really I am the only one who can change any situation I have problems with.

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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must for Everyone to Read!, July 3, 2011
By 
MollyEmma (Pennsylvania) - See all my reviews
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I found I wasn't alone. After caring for my mother a very long time ago, and then my step-father more recently, I didn't think I wanted to read this book. To be honest, I bought it and let it sit for quite a while. I wasn't ready, or so I thought...

Jo Maeder's story and my own seemed one and the same. Her mother's reactions, and actions, mirrored my step-father's.
Yes, I cried hard at times, and then I laughed so hard I peed myself!

It doesn't matter if you have cared for a loved one or not. This journey is beautiful. It is the perfect sunrise. Astonishing us with the depth of our emotional response to the every day natural wonder.

This book is full of love from the time you open the book, well past the final page.

I consider this book a priceless gift. I was not alone..
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Read, May 27, 2009
This review is from: When I Married My Mother: A Daughter's Search for What Really Matters-and How She Found It Caring for Mama Jo (Hardcover)
Maeder has taken the boomer experience of caring for an aging parent and made it funny, touching and a great read.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
"Shoutin' out to the Bronx, Brooklyn, and Bayonne," I said with a smile in my voice to my radio audience of millions. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
doll room, drain fields
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Married My Mother, Mama Jo, New York, North Carolina, Aunt Julie, Kansas City, Eastern Star, Uncle Sid, Wildlife Guy, Wanda Lou, Tiger Sam, The Hour of Power, Animal Planet, African American, Bible Belt, Akasha Diamonds, World War, Andy Griffith, Jim Crow, Dave Stevens, Brilliant Idea, Super Bowl, Bureau of Insurance, Rescuer Syndrome, Response Link
Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Front Flap | First Pages | Back Flap | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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