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Comment: The item shows wear from consistent use, but it remains in good condition and works perfectly. All pages and cover are intact (including the dust cover, if applicable). Spine may show signs of wear. Pages may include limited notes and highlighting. May include "From the library of" labels.
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When a Mate Wants Out: Secrets for Saving a Marriage Paperback – July 10, 2000

4.2 out of 5 stars 21 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

'Please help me! I'm devastated. My husband tells me he doesn't love me anymore. He has moved out ... ' If you are reeling from the pain and confusion of your mate's leaving, if you are thinking there is nothing you can do to save your marriage, you need to read When a Mate Wants Out. When a Mate Wants Out takes you from the first shock of abandonment through the hard work of restoration. Using principles based on over thirteen years of counseling hundreds of individuals whose spouses want out, Sally and Jim Conway disclose the secrets for saving a marriage. These include: * immediate actions to take when you first learn your mate wants out * how to meet your own needs during this time of rejection * changes you need to make to restore the marriage * how to meet the needs of your spouse * handling past and present baggage in the marriage * the step-by-step process for rebuilding the relationship * long-range goals to maintain the relationship Using these techniques, the Mid-Life Dimensions Counseling Center has achieved a fifty percent success rate for saving faltering marriages. You can restore your marriage. With faith and an abundance of love, you can work toward restoration, drawing your mate back into a happier, more fulfilling marriage.

About the Author

Sally Conway held a MS in education from the University of Illinois and she was a writer, seminar speaker, counselor, University professor, and a radio and TV person. She was the Vice President and co-founder of Midlife Dimensions - a ministry whose mission statement is, "Strengthening and Healing Midlife Marriages". Sally died in 1997 after a 7 year battle with breast cancer, but her husband Jim continues the ministry.

Jim Conway holds a PhD., DMin., plus two masters degrees. He is the author/co-author of 14 books and over 150 articles on marriage and family issues - specializing in Midlife Crisis. Jim is the former co-speaker on the national daily radio program heard on over 200 stations entitled "Midlife Dimensions" plus, he has appeared on hundreds of other radio and TV programs. Jim has pastored churches for over 25 years, was the director of the Doctor of Ministry program and Associates Professor at Talbot Seminary, CA, and is currently with a new ministry called LateLife Hope. Visit his website – www.latelifehope.com
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 220 pages
  • Publisher: Zondervan (July 10, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0310236479
  • ISBN-13: 978-0310236474
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #723,539 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
This book gives step-by-step guidelines for coping with a spouse who wants out of your marriage. It helps you understand your own feelings about betrayal and guides you to act in ways that minimize the chances of the break being permanent. Helpful, comforting, and extremely informative. In my opinion, its the best of the dozens of books on saving a marriage that are available. Without a doubt, it saved my marriage.
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By A Customer on March 11, 2000
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Since the break up of our 6 year relationship I have purchased many books. This one was not as helpful as the others because the information was very introductory and not deep enough. It seemed like the book is saying that God is the answer to saving the marriage. Maybe true, but I was hoping for a book with more deep psychological analysis. I recommend the books "Letting Go" by Dr. Tracy Cabot, and "Make Up Don't Break Up" by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I felt this book was well planned. The research and insight was eye opening and helpful. I now see quite a bit of inner strength to see this situation through to the end. Even if he does continue on with the divorce, as I was told as recently as yesterday, nothing is set in stone. Changes in myself have already caused changes in my husband which he is very surprized and confused by. With what I have learned and God's help, this situation can be turned around.
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Format: Hardcover
This text provides parallels to Dobson's "Tough Love" concepts that encourage self-respect and provides healthy means of coping with being abandoned by a rebelling spouse. The ideas provided encourage healing for the abandoned and help rebuild respect in the relationship
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Format: Paperback
The authors totally miss the point that sometimes spouses use affairs as a form of abuse.

Therefore, following this author's advice "consistently do everything to please your mate" during seperation is POOR ADVICE, POOR DISCIPLESHIP, and POOR COUNSELING. A better book is "Love Must be Tough" by Dobson.

If you feed into the deception of an affair, you are only condoning the behavior of an unrepent spouse.
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Format: Paperback
There was a lot of great information. For the spouse that has cheated or is thinking about cheating, it has the ability to make then take a second look at their motives, actions and how the other spouse feels. If they are willing to read "When a Mate Wants Out" it gives them a glimpse of what the other partner may be experiencing. Most importantly is gives the partner who has been hurt the opportunity to see that anything is possible through Christ and just because one spouse says it's over...God may say differently. It gives hope in a situation that may seem doomed for failure. It only takes one partner to believe and have faith. God does the rest!!!! It changes attitudes and mindsets while you heal the broken places.
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Format: Paperback
I felt that parts of this book were very valuable. However, I felt that following its advice in every case would compromise self-respect, especially in cases where the "exiting spouse" was having an affair. NOBODY should have to put up with that kind of behavior in a marriage and I think this book encourages more tolerance and patience when dealing with infidelity than is appropriate or smart. Sometimes, in cases of infidelity, it's best to move on. God may hate divorce, but I don't think He expects people to hang on to (or wait for) an unfaithful spouse and just take perpetual abuse. It may not be physical abuse, but it IS emotional abuse. There is a time to get out and move on. This book left me feeling like the author thinks all decisions are up to the unfaithful spouse. That is not a healthy response. I would read this book, but read it with your brain in gear and think your situation through for yourself! Don't blindly stay in a bad marriage or tolerate an unfaithful spouse just because this book has that outlook.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
this was a very powerful and practical book. i learned so much about what my significant other has been going thru, in order to want out of our marriage. i admit, that it gave me hope, even though its pretty much too late for me. i have decided to do the lessons anyway, because i'm determined to learn and grow from this. my hope is that anyone reading this will, first, NEVER have to go thru this. But if they do, that they can work it out, and be reconciled. failing that, my heart goes out to you. nothing hurts more than getting your heart torn out this way. hopefully this book will help you like it did for me.
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