Customer Reviews

When a Mate Wants Out: Secrets for Saving a Marriage

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book gives step-by-step guidelines for coping with a spouse who wants out of your marriage. It helps you understand your own feelings about betrayal and guides you to act in ways that minimize the chances of the break being permanent. Helpful, comforting, and extremely informative. In my opinion, its the best of the dozens of books on saving a marriage that are available. Without a doubt, it saved my marriage.

Since the break up of our 6 year relationship I have purchased many books. This one was not as helpful as the others because the information was very introductory and not deep enough. It seemed like the book is saying that God is the answer to saving the marriage. Maybe true, but I was hoping for a book with more deep psychological analysis. I recommend the books "Letting Go" by Dr. Tracy Cabot, and "Make Up Don't Break Up" by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil.

This text provides parallels to Dobson's "Tough Love" concepts that encourage self-respect and provides healthy means of coping with being abandoned by a rebelling spouse. The ideas provided encourage healing for the abandoned and help rebuild respect in the relationship

I felt this book was well planned. The research and insight was eye opening and helpful. I now see quite a bit of inner strength to see this situation through to the end. Even if he does continue on with the divorce, as I was told as recently as yesterday, nothing is set in stone. Changes in myself have already caused changes in my husband which he is very surprized and confused by. With what I have learned and God's help, this situation can be turned around.

The authors totally miss the point that sometimes spouses use affairs as a form of abuse.

Therefore, following this author's advice "consistently do everything to please your mate" during seperation is POOR ADVICE, POOR DISCIPLESHIP, and POOR COUNSELING. A better book is "Love Must be Tough" by Dobson.

If you feed into the deception of an affair, you are only condoning the behavior of an unrepent spouse.

There was a lot of great information. For the spouse that has cheated or is thinking about cheating, it has the ability to make then take a second look at their motives, actions and how the other spouse feels. If they are willing to read "When a Mate Wants Out" it gives them a glimpse of what the other partner may be experiencing. Most importantly is gives the partner who has been hurt the opportunity to see that anything is possible through Christ and just because one spouse says it's over...God may say differently. It gives hope in a situation that may seem doomed for failure. It only takes one partner to believe and have faith. God does the rest!!!! It changes attitudes and mindsets while you heal the broken places.

I felt that parts of this book were very valuable. However, I felt that following its advice in every case would compromise self-respect, especially in cases where the "exiting spouse" was having an affair. NOBODY should have to put up with that kind of behavior in a marriage and I think this book encourages more tolerance and patience when dealing with infidelity than is appropriate or smart. Sometimes, in cases of infidelity, it's best to move on. God may hate divorce, but I don't think He expects people to hang on to (or wait for) an unfaithful spouse and just take perpetual abuse. It may not be physical abuse, but it IS emotional abuse. There is a time to get out and move on. This book left me feeling like the author thinks all decisions are up to the unfaithful spouse. That is not a healthy response. I would read this book, but read it with your brain in gear and think your situation through for yourself! Don't blindly stay in a bad marriage or tolerate an unfaithful spouse just because this book has that outlook.

I got a lot of help from this book.It is from a christian viewpoint, and that is what I was looking for. God wants us to have a happy marriage and He does not want us to take any type of abuse, physical or mental. If you are a christian and you need good advice,you really want to save your marriage, this is a wonderful book

I FOUND THIS BOOK TO BE EVER SO HELPFUL AND EYE OPENING. IT MADE ME TAKE A DEEPER LOOK INTO MY ACTIONS AND THINKING PATTERN. I AM SO GLAD I PURCHASED THIS BOOK. IT HAS GIVEN ME HOPE THAT MY MARRIAGE IS ABLE TO BE RECONCILED IN GODS WILL.

This book gave me food for thought. However it was "too religious" for me and the general population. It was a little "blaming" of the left-out spouse.