Customer Reviews

When Only One Converts

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Mixed marriages are no picnic. For six years, my wife and I attempted to do the mixed marriage thing - sometimes attending her Church, other times attending mine, and sometimes attending both. Our story is among the 15 told in Lynn Nordhagen's book.

Nordhagen's book is a twist on the popularity of current conversion story books. It offers stories of pain and honesty from couples in mixed marriages between a Catholic and non-Catholic spouse.

Through the personal stories the book seeks answers to questions such as, "how can you be obedient to God when obedience threatens your marriage vows?" and "Can you love God if it means hurting the one you love most on earth?"

Each of the stories make the point that a spouse should not try to convert their mate. Personally, had my wife ever suggested or pressured me to become Catholic I would have run in the opposite direction.

Catholic and non-Catholic spouses in mixed marriages will find much to identify with in this book. It is a much needed addition to the library of conversion story compilations.

This book should be in the library of every married person considering conversion to the Catholic Church whether their spouse is in synch with their journey or not. It should also be in the library of everyone in a mixed marriage. It is not about how to convert your spouse, it is about how to live with the tension of seeing things different religiously and still maintaining the unity of your marriage.

The book's contributers run the gamut from those whose spouses were Catholic while they were Protestant, to those where the spouses were both Protestant until one converted, and even one where the spouse remains essentially non-religious. The marriages have mostly weathered the crisis and some have even flourished.

It is a book not only for the person becoming Catholic, but for the spouse who doesn't choose to join them, or at least not yet. It will provide support for the convert (who gets the message "I'm not alone in this"), but help the non-convert to understand what is going on. It also provides tools for making this a growing experience for your marriage instead of just a source of discord. In that vein the chapter by Gregory Popcak alone is worth the price of the book.

So if you've read Rome Sweet Home and find it's message compelling get When Only One Converts before you go any further down the road. Your spouse will thank you for it.

This book helped me realize that I wasn't alone. That other Catholics who have protestant spouses feel like I do. It helped me learn how to handle different aspects of being in a mixed marriage. I would recommend anyone who has converted or reverted to the Catholic faith without the support or company of their spouse to read this book.

I'm converting to the Catholic faith and after reading this book I asked my wife (a Protestant) to read it also. We both agreed that while the stories are very informative and make for interesting reading, there is an underlying theme that the non-Catholic spouse will (or at least should) eventually convert also....a subtle theme, but there nevertheless.

Follow up comment to the December 2010 reviewer......It is not a bad book, and as shown by the non-biased reviews below, it actually helps some people. Keep in mind this book is written by a Catholic, and as Catholics, not everything hinges on the Bible. We have Church tradition to guide us also (see 2nd Thess. 2:15). Your words "the direct and easily understandable words of the Holy Bible." ring a bit empty. There are a zillion different protestant churches...each of them interpreting scripture differently, so scripture must not be THAT easy to understand. This is a well-written book, just a bit biased toward Catholicism as I said above.

Excellent for those whose spouse is not joining them in Catholic conversion. Examples of those who ultimately do convert and how that comes about and examples of those who must remain without their spouse in the Catholic Church. Realistic picture of what happens when "Only One Converts", but also encouraging for those who hope their spouse will join them.

This is an excellent book on what can happen when a marriage partner joins a religion which is different from the religion they both subscribed to when they were married. The book includes some sad stories and some positive stories.

This book, like Nordhagen's other essays, teaches in the following manner: "This is a fact (which usually is) biblically based, that is)...Then she proceeds to make her case as follows: If this is true, it follows this "this" must be true, and accordingly "this" must be true. With these facts in hand we absolutely know that "this" is also true. If you continue this stream of presumptions, and assumptions, some (just enough which are literally accurate statements from the bible), adding more presumptions as we move forward; and continue this process, say 40-50 presumptions out,

(a few biblically based, forward); one can reach some pretty profound conclusions.

Here's the problem. If only one or two of the early assumptions, ostensibly based on early assumptive statements from the bible, are personal opinion, but written as though they come directly from the literal words of the bible, we have a dangerous problem, for those of us who are believers. This is her style. Google, for example an essay called "Hail Mary". It uses the same tactics which one with knowledge of the bible, can pick apart piece by piece. Keep these thoughts in mind when reading anything by this author.

Sure, in this book, she addresses the problems the book purports to address, but I urge readers to take care, put on your thinking caps, as my dear mother used to say, and beware of her insidious attempts to bring us to conclusions that fit the author's beliefs, but do not reflect, the direct and easily understandable words of the Holy Bible. Remember, if only one, just one of her early assumptions is a misinterpretation based on what she wants you to believe, it renders the rest of the conclusions invalid. I respect another's opinion, but if those opinions are based on Bible verses, (as we are led to believe), and with thin, shallow, reaching evidence, leads her to what sounds like an incontrovertible fact, beware. God Bless.