Customer Reviews

When Opposites Attract: Right Brain/Left Brain Relationships and How to Make Them Work

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I've only read the first two chapters and already it's like someone's been eavesdropping on me and my girlfriend since we met 9 months ago. Our oppositional attitudes caused every crisis in the book, but we still wanted to find a way 'in'; quote: '...true-love relationships are too precious too neglect or just drop all together'. So we tried to understand each other, asked friends and family for advice. Then, I consulted the stars for more enlightenment. I (RB) am Pisces - she (LB) is Aries... The book "Sexual Astrology: A Sign-by-Sign Guide to Your Sensual Stars" helped me understand her better, but not "how" I could cope with the situation. Now this book is somewhat my last resort. So let me finish the next chapters and keep your fingers crossed that the encouragement to not give up will gain momentum; or I'll be a no-brainer (NB).
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Chapter 7 and still going strong. This author really knows how to put such a delicate subject as the relationship of two opposites into a clear perspective. The examples are concrete, comprehensible, and contextually sound. I'm still flabbergasted as to the degree of correlation with my personal relationship. Almost every paragraph makes me stop and reflect on my own experience. Reading this book gives me more suspense than any mystery book on the shelves. Stay tuned...
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I gave my girlfriend her own copy to read. We discussed chapter by chapter, reflecting on things that were mentionable. And mentionable insights there were many. This is exactly what the author had intended, namely to use it as a working manual. And therefore it was not just "me" striking a discussion on some theory, but it was mutual - and that helped to ease the discussion atmosphere substantially.
Of course I was anxiously awaiting a part at the end of the book that would resolve the whole myth, saying something like: take a little bit of this, a whole lot of that, stir and presto: you'll be happy together and profit from one another. Well think twice: you won't find it.

Some things that I think could be worth mentioning, though, are:
- There were only a few places that touched on the pros/cons of couples having a lot in common. Some more description and comparison would have helped my comprehending process.
- The book did not touch in any way on things that opposite couples have in common and how that would/could have a (positive) impact on the relationship. Is it because the couples interviewed didn't have anything in common or is it because it is not relevant or because it is self-evident? How many opposing attributes can a relationship take vs. what really needs to be in common?
- It surely helped us understand "why" the other partner acts/reacts the way he/she does. That allowed us to circumvent - to a certain extent - possible conflict situations. And it illustrated that the majority of conflicts and misunderstandings we had were -- typical.
- It would perhaps be a good idea to annex a translational section (LB-RB, RB-LB), i.e. if LB says this, they mean that and visa versa.
- The author made clear that it not the intention of the book to explain "why" opposites come together in the first place. Thus, it of course does not state "why" opposites should stay together either. It just shows some common pitfalls and ways to cope with opposite characteristics.

This brings me to my final point: you'll look for the term "love" in vain. What's love got to do with this? It's surely the prerequisite to any enduring relationship. But with us being so "opposite" I was of course frequently asking myself: do I really "love" her and if, why can't I just take her the way she is? This vicious query then brought me back to basics, namely that it's all about (quote) "commitment, respect, earning trust and accepting imperfections".
So I put the book aside together with all of my manuscripts, mind maps, and metaphoric models and started to look inside of my heart. And the personal outcome for us: we decided to (*CENSORED*) :)

Conclusion: A "must read" for all that are confronted with decision making in an "opposites attract" relationship or just want to understand their current relationship better. At least a half a dozen friends and family members I gave this book to agree.

I have read many, many books on relationships and how to make them work. I think the No. 1 problem in relationships is the basic differences between men and women. And that difference is the Right/Left Brain theory in action. This is the only book out there that says it like it really is, and also attributes the problems to the left brain/right brain difference. It's also very well written and easy to understand, with lots of practical suggestions for dealing with these differences. Also, she makes the point that it's not always the man with the left brain, and the woman with the right brain. It can be the other way around. And that's a point I've never seen made anywhere else. This book has probably saved countless relationships, including my own!

I thought this book contained a wealth of information applicable to all types of relationships. Rebecca Cutter did an outstanding job of presenting her research and experiences in a very readable format. Definitely "food for thought" material.

As an art teacher, I know the differences between those who have a dominant left hemisphere of the brain, and those who have a dominant right hemisphere to be very real and important aspects of a person's psyche. This author give you ways to recognize and get along with your opposite, achieving a better life for both. "Right brainers are intuitive; they value emotion, intimacy and connectedness; they tend to think in associative patterns and "illogical" leaps. (Their left-brain partners complain that they're disorganized and too needy.) Left-brainers love facts, linear thought processes, and familiar routines. (Their right-brain partners find them emotionally unavailable and inhibited.) the good news is that once "opposites" learn to negotiate their differences, they can heal their conflicts and embark on a profoundly rewarding journey of discovery with one another."

I enjoyed this book because it did not make assumptions about which partner was the left or right brain. In my particular circumstance my fiance was the sensitive partner. Most books assume the woman is the 'sensitive' partner, so I couldn't connect with those books. Although normally, I do fall into the typical female role, for some reason having a sensitive man ended up making me the more rigid partner. It was strange how I was like him in other relationships, but was more like the men I've dated in my past relationship with him (instead of me being the one wanting more quality time, and wanting to do romantic things, etc, it was him asking for those things). While we are no longer together, I will always treasure this book, because it may still help with future relationships if my personality type shifts with another mate.

This book is a must read for all people who plan to have relationships because everyone has a different perspective on any given subject and each person in the relationship must be open and understanding for the other's feelings, mindset and be willing to move forward together even when the times get tough. If you want to further to understand your spouse's or partner's perspective, this is a must book to read.