When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children [Hardcover]

Wendy S. Harpham (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 16, 1997

At some point in our lives, many of us will face the crisis of an unexpected illness. For parents, the fear, anxiety, and confusion resulting from a cancer diagnosis can be particularly devastating. How can you care responsibly for a child when you are in special need of care? How much should you tell your child? How can life go on -- for everyone in the family -- when you are faced with months, even years, of treatment?

When a Parent Has Cancer. A Guide to Caring for Your Children is a book for families written from the heart of experience. A mother, physician, and cancer survivor, Dr. Wendy Harpham offers dear, direct, and sympathetic advice for parents challenged with the task of raising normal, healthy children while they struggle with a potentially life-threatening disease.

Dr. Harpham lays the groundwork of her book with specific plans for helping children through the upheaval of your diagnosis and treatment, remission and recovery, and, if necessary, confronting the possibility of death. With full understanding of the difficulty of achieving balance in the midst of change, she emphasizes the importance of being honest with your children about the gravity of the illness, whileassuring them that their basic needs will always be met. She encourages families to create a "new normal," in which cancer becomes a manageable part of daily life, and suggests concrete, creative ways for all familymembers to work together to achieve this equilibrium. Dr. Harpham also addresses the special needs of single parents, as well as teenagers and the well spouse, who are learning to cope with a loved one's illness.

Included with When a Parent Has Cancer is Becky and the Worry Cup, an illustrated children's book that tells the story of a seven-year-old girl's experiences with her mother's cancer. Becky and the Worry Cup, which can be read by the child alone or together with a parent, poignantly touches on the fears, anger, guilt, and uncertainty that children feel when their mother or father is sick.

Dr. Harpham has given us two important and invaluable books. When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children and Becky and the Worry Cup are written with the honesty and clear-sightedness that can come only from lived experience. She offers comfort, encouragement, and reasonable hope at the exact moment you might fear none is to be found. Most important, these books provide a plan of action for you and your children to live meaningfully and well when life is at its most uncertain.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Harpham (After Cancer, LJ 8/94) deals here with "the difficulties of raising children when a parent has cancer and proposes approaches for preventing and responding to common problems in a healthy way." Harpham, a parent with cancer, is also a physician, and the last 47 pages of this title is a children's book, Becky and the Worry Cup, drawn from the experience of her own children. In discussing parenting issues, Harpham includes examples for handling specific problems, with especially important points set in boldface. Although most of the book deals with caring for children under the age of ten, there is a chapter on teenagers. Appendixes include a glossary that children can understand, a list of resources and support groups, and a bibliography for children and parents. A similar offering is Pat Brack's Moms Don't Get Sick (LJ 8/90). Recommended for consumer health/patient education collections.?Mary J. Jarvis, Methodist Hosp. Medical Lib., Lubbock, Tex.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

A parent's cancer is a family crisis. Children will adapt, however, if their fundamental physical and emotional needs are met, if they understand what is happening, and if they know that they will be cared for no matter what happens. Basing her efforts on those three perceptions and drawing on her expertise as a physician and her experience as a person with cancer, Harpham provides practical advice on caring for children of all ages during diagnosis and treatment and helpful insights for helping them cope with grief, loss, uncertainty, and fear of death. She accompanies her guidance for parents with a story for children--"Becky and the Worry Cup" --that illustrates the concerns kids have and how parents can help them cope. Both the guidebook and the story are sympathetic, sensitive to intense emotions, and, above all, empowering to parents and children facing the significant changes life-threatening illness demands of a family. Kathryn Carpenter

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 208 pages
• Publisher: Harper; 1st edition (January 16, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060187093
• ISBN-13: 978-0060187095
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.3 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #329,033 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is a stunning book written by a survivor, April 18, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children (Hardcover)

Based on her own experiences with cancer, Harpham offers insightful, compassionate and sound advice to parents. Most books on this subject talk about how to break the news to children and deal with their initial reaction. This book goes beyond that, dealing with the issues that arise during the long months of treatment. Becky and the Worry Cup is a wonderful companion piece that will comfort children of all ages

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fabulous Book for an unfortunate topic, March 14, 2002

By 

Monica Hamor (Sherman Oaks, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children (Hardcover)

When my husband was diagnosed with cancer our children were 5 and 7 years old. This book gave us the tools to use to talk to them about cancer. Illness, chemotherapy and even death were topics that we suddenly had to confront. Dr. Harpham's book provided insight in dealing with a frigtening topic in a calm and reasuring manner.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars When a parent has cancer:, August 10, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: When a Parent Has Cancer: A Guide to Caring for Your Children (Hardcover)

This is an excellent guide for being a parent, not just a parent with cancer. You can tell that Dr. Harpham has put enormous energy into making sure her children are affected as little as possible by her illness. Our children would be so lucky if they were not affected by our bad days, our obcessions, or our tainted view of reality. There are a lot of feel good about being a parent books out there. This is an excellent practical guide.