When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man (Resources for Changing Lives) [Paperback]

Edward T. Welch (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 1, 1997 | Series: Resources for Changing Lives

Welch uncovers the spiritual dimension of people-pleasing in what the Bible calls fear of man.

Product Details

• Paperback: 239 pages
• Publisher: P & R Publishing (June 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0875526004
• ISBN-13: 978-0875526003
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (69 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #5,778 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

145 of 148 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book on God's Greatness! May 10, 2003

By Michael Taylor TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

Welch has written a gem on the need for us to realize how great God really is and how we need to stop fearing other people so much!

The focus of Welch's book is to have a greater healthy fear of God to the point that other people have less power and control over our lives.

The points Welch describes in his book include:

1. The fear of God is the best treatment for the fear of man.
2. Jesus was not a people-pleaser.
3. Having more fear of man than God is idolatry.
4. When we fear God we think of ourselves less.
5. When we spend more time with God, opinions of ourselves and what others think of us matter less.
6. We should love people more and need them less (only God can truly provide for our needs).
7. We love others because God first loved us.
8. When God is reduced to our feelings, He becomes less awesome to us while people become larger.

The "fear of God" may be defined as having a healthy reverence for God - He loves us and does not want us to be so afraid of Him that we are scared of having a personal relationship with Him.

Read the book and be encouraged to be more concerned about what God thinks and less concerned about what other people think!

54 of 56 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Take your eyes of your problems and put them on The Solution! June 1, 2007

By Dan Panetti VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

I'll have to admit, I was a little leery of this book from the title - peer pressure, codependency - come on, another Christian psycho-babble book? But I read it since a friend was reading it and I'll admit - I was wrong. When People Are Big is an outstanding book that has something to say about the self-centered psychology of Freud and Maslow - it's all focused on the wrong thing: man. Welch, himself a Ph.D. recipient in counseling psychology chooses to focus on God's Word as the source of truth and understanding regarding the nature of man. His basic concept is that man is created to bring glory to God and in saying this notes that God has designed us with certain "needs" or "desires" that are to be fulfilled by God Himself. The problem arises, according to Welch, when we replace the proverbial God-shaped vacuum in our lives with temporal things of this world that are not only unable to satisfy our longings, but in fact prohibit God from being able to! As man turns to self for "actualitization," he finds that his highest purpose doesn't really supply meaning or significance. Only in a proper relationship with God through the sanctifying work of Christ on the cross can man truly understand his true nature and true self.

Ultimately, Welch argues, the problem with man is low esteem for his Creator. If we truly lived before an Audience of One, Welch believes that many of our daily "problems" would be solved with a proper perspective - we would see ourselves in a proper light and we would see that we are not the source of that light, but created to be the reflectors of it to others.... One of the great paradoxes of the Christian life is truly understanding ourselves - totally depraved and unworthy of salvation, yet by the grace of God we are made into heirs to the throne clothed with the righteousness of Christ Himself! The key, Welch states, is our ability to realize that this transformation from rags to riches is not based upon who we are or what we can accomplish, but rather on the work of a Holy and Merciful God.

This is a great book for every Christian today - we all have problems and trials we face, we all have people that we give too much power over our lives, we all need a greater appreciation for and understanding of the majesty of God. Welch concludes that if we could just understand what Scripture is seeking to show us, that our lives would be radically transformed - not only a saving grace would be ours, but a sanctifying grace that would overflow into the lives of those around us - even those we despise and dislike! Francis Schaeffer wrote a classic little book titled The Mark of a Christian and in it claims that the world will know we are Christians by our love for each other - Welch agrees with this sentiment and helps us understand why we haven't arrived at this place yet! Read more ›

48 of 52 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A really convicting and transforming book! November 13, 2000

By Jonathan Koh

Format:Paperback

I read a lot of books but this book is one of the few that i would re-read again and make notes so that i can really get a good grasp of its wonderful and convicting teaching. It is also one of the few books that i can say really challenges my thinking and living.

This book also got me more interested in counselling and "Christian" psychology. Some of the views written challenges many common Christian Psychology/counselling teachings - he challenges some of Larry Crabb's views.

But besides these "differences" (which i need to look more into), i think this book is an excellent read - especially for Christians who are in leadership positions. There is always a tendency to be controlled by the opinions of man, and thus in Welch's terms, succumb to a fear of man, rather than to be controlled by what God teaches, therefore be a God fearing Christian.

This book calls us to deny ourselves, to crucify our ungodly desires for popularity, fame and good opinions of man. It calls us to see God as bigger than man and once we do that, we will start to fear God and not man. Wonderful thought-provoking, life- and attitude-challenging stuff.

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Good resource for counseling & personal growth September 17, 2007

By Jake Hunt

Format:Paperback

This book has a solid thesis: many of the problems we have with peer pressure, the fear of man, controlling or being controlled by others, and the like all have to do with fearing man rather than fearing God. I found the way Welch unpacks this idea a little tedious; each chapter seemed to restate the main idea and apply it with little difference.

The second half of the book is more helpful. Welch gives several positive biblical examples of what the fear of the Lord looks like, and why we should strive to have it replace the fear of man in our hearts. His continuum of terror to worship shows the different forms our fear of God should take as we grow in our knowledge of him--the fear is never removed, but it matures into a healthy, reverential fear of the holy God who has befriended us in Christ. His paradigm of loving people rather than needing them, of seeking to serve others rather than having them serve our own purposes, is a good corrective to the self-centered pop psychology we are inundated with in the West.

Welch's book is a good biblical antidote to peer pressure, codependency and the fear of man. With a proper understanding of who God is and the resulting fear of him, we have no need to fear men. Instead we can love and serve them the way God intends. This book is a great resource both for personal growth and as a reference for counseling.