Customer Reviews

When Perfect Isn't Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

As a psychologist working in a college counseling center, I see many students who beat themselves up with perfectionistic-type thoughts such as "If I don't get an A in this class, I'm a failure" or "I can't let my friends know I'm upset because they'll think there's something wrong with me." These destructive thoughts can have a devastating impact by leading to anxiety, depression, and a host of other difficulties, and this is the #1 book I recommend to students who are struggling with these issues.

The first section of the book, Understanding Perfectionism, helps the reader to better understand the impact of perfectionism on their life, particularly in the areas of thoughts and behavior. The second section, Overcoming Perfectionism, begins with a self-assessment designed to help the reader identify how their own perfectionistic tendencies manifest. Following the assessment, specific exercises assist the reader in identifying goals and developing a plan for change. Finally, this section offers a wide variety of strategies for changing perfectionist thoughts and behaviors.

The final section of the book focuses on specific problems related to perfectionism, with chapters on depression, anger, social anxiety, worry, obsessive-compulsive behavior, and body image. These chapters contain additional exercises, further information on coping strategies, and an overview of available mental health treatment for each concern.

I particularly like the workbook-style format of this book, as it provides the reader with personalized assistance. Reading this book is an excellent first step for anyone who is trying to understand and wanting to change their perfectionistic tendencies; it also can be used as an adjunct to therapy.

"When Perfect Isn't Good Enough" is a "must have" book for any individual struggling with issues of perfectionism. In this one of a kind volume, Dr. Antony challenges our glorified conception of perfectionistic thinking and behavior, exposing the many personal, occupational, and interpersonal costs of assuming that "nothing less than perfect will do." What sets this book apart from any other that I've read is its comprehensive, common sense approach to the topic, combined with a workbook format that allows the reader to apply the information to his or her own life. This was extremely powerful! In addition to providing information about possible causes of perfectionism and links to other conditions, Dr. Antony guides the reader through a personal assessment of his or her own style of perfectionism, developing a specific plan for changing perfectionistic thoughts and behaviors, and evaluating one's progress over time. The book contains numerous examples of effective self-change strategies that others have used to overcome this problem. As a clinician, I have already recommended "When Perfect Isn't Good Enough" to several clients who have found it extremely helpful. I would highly recommend this book to all individuals who would like to free themselves from the agony of perfectionistic thinking. It is an essential item for the library of every mental health professional.

This is really a great book. For a layperson like myself who's looking for an intelligent, informed discussion of perfectionism, and suggestions for how to find relief from its more negative aspects, "When Perfect Isn't Good Enough" strikes an excellent balance between an overly technical professional text and the all-too-common self-help book that's too high on fluff and too low on content. This book - which I very much enjoyed reading - is packed with useful information (and good exercises) on how to break free from patterns of perfectionistic thinking and behavior; and it contains what I thought were interesting and insightful discussions on how perfectionism ties together with depression, anger, social anxiety, worry, and other "not so pleasant" dispositions that many of us realize to some degree or other. I found the book quite helpful, and expect to get a fair bit more out of it. Antony and Swinson are clearly experts. Of all the books I've read or looked at on the topic, this one's the best. I highly recommend it.

I have been a perfectionist my whole life. At school, at work, in my relationships, even my looks -- I have always tried to be perfect. Needless to say, this takes a lot of time and energy. Everyone is always telling me to relax, but I have never been able to. Antony and Swinson's book is the first thing that I have read that has truly helped. They provided me with strategies that were easy to understand and have really helped me to relax my standards and view things in a more rational way. I still have some rough days and when I do, I pull this book off my shelf and get a refresher on the strategies that I should be using. I will keep this book, and refer to it, for many years to come. Thanks SO much Drs. Antony and Swinson!

I worked through this book nine months ago and have since enjoyed the most productive, creative, and calmest nine months of my career. I thought the first part, Understanding Perfectionism, would be a waste of time, but it helped me to realize I had perfectionist tendencies in several areas of my life.

The second and third parts present methods to assess and overcome perfectionism. The methods are specific and numerous; you are led to select those that are most applicable to your situation. I have been amazed at how well the book targeted my problems and at how much this book has helped.

I highly recommend Antony and Swinson's book for anyone with perfectionist tendencies.

After reading the main part of the book, I am so grateful for having bought this book. I have been extremely depressed because of my excessive high standards toward myself. This book acts as a mirror to my problems and I can see my perfectionistic tendencies in many aspects. I also try to work through the techniques suggested by the authors to overcome my perfectionistic thoughts and behavior. I cannot say that I have eliminated all such problems but I can see I am on the right track! I am now more aware of my fear and anxiety since most of them orginated from my perfectionism.

My piano playing skills are improved after using the practices the book put forward.

The authors show their true understanding of the dilemma of the perfectionists and could design workable and practical methods to overcome the problems.

For anyone who are troubled by their perfectionism (I guess some are even not aware that they are perfectionist), this books will help. Clear, live and simple examples are given to illustrate what are truly "perfectionistic" which give rise problems.

I highly recommend this book.

I've struggled my whole life with a number of issues: perfectionism, low self-esteem, self-destructive behaviour.

This despite the fact that I'm intelligent. Intelligence isn't always enough. Some of us need practical help to see where our thinking patterns and actions are flawed or self-defeating. Without external help it's difficult to be objective about this.

"When Perfect isn't Good Enough" is a practical self-help book to assist you in identifying and changing perfectionistic thinking patterns. I only bought the book recently, but I've already been bowled over by the number of insights I've gained from its pages. I plan to study and fully integrate the info over time. I can only imagine how doing so will contribute to my productivity!

Other exceptional self-help books that I would like to recommend are:

* The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

* The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

* Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

None of these books are quick-fixes. Integrating their contents takes a lot of work and courage, but the results are of inestimable value!

The authors state that there are many kinds of perfectionism. While I agree somewhat, I find some of the behaviors described here to fit more neatly into other categories and other types of treatment. Much of this book misses the point for me and my family. I understand that OCD can have some elements of perfectionism, as a hand-washer strives to be perfectly germ-free. Social anxiety can involve some perfectionism, as appearing "imperfect" to others makes one anxious. Even depression can have perfectionistic aspects, as one feels helpless to live up to some socially prescribed standard. But I do not believe one type of treatment suits all of these.

The perfectionism that affects my family is more of a "self-oriented perfectionism" as described on page 11: having self-imposed standards that are unrealistically high and impossible to attain. This leads my son into a severe writers' block that paralyzes him when he is asked to write an essay. The authors distinguish three types of perfectionism: Self-oriented, other-oriented (expecting perfection from others), and socially prescribed perfectionism. But they then ignore the distinction and treat them all about the same. I did not find this book to be useful.

The majority of this book was spent answering the question of what perfectionsm is. If you actually want to buy this book, you *know* what a perfectionist is already: you!

As to strategies for coping, only two pages in the entire book were helpful. The summary would be "Go see a shrink: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and/or anti-depressants are both effective treatments." I didn't really want to spend $12 for nothing more than be told to seek out a psychiatrist...

Hardly user friendly, though it attempts to be a book for a lay audience, it fails miserably succeeding only in writing a watered down academic article. If you are a fan of superficial platitudes masquerading as strategy, then this is book for you. Might as well save your 10 or 13 dollars, google perfectionism, and read the ehow version--you're getting the same thing minus the money and the time wasted sifting through bad writing and even worse style.