When Your "Perfect Partner" Goes Perfectly Wrong: Loving Or Leaving The Narcissist In Your Life [Unabridged] [Paperback]

Mary Jo Fay (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 2004

Do YOU have a narcissist in your life? Would you recognize one if there was? Do any of these "red flag" behaviors look like anyone you're involved with? 1. Egotistical and controlling. 2. Feels that rules don't apply to them. 3. Is NEVER happy - no matter what you do. 4. Feels more important or entitled than others. 5. Has no clue what empathy or compassion are. 6. May have started out "perfect" but changed drastically along the way. 7. Always blames others for anything that goes wrong. These are just a few of the characteristics often exhibited by those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Whether your "partner" has NPD or just narcissistic traits, they can put you on a roller coaster ride that can play havoc with your emotional health and well-being. Anyone can be a malignant narcissist. They can be your spouse, business partner, friend, boss, or parent. The problem is that they can leave you filled with self-doubt, confusion, stress, anxiety, guilt, and depression ... and wondering how you got there in the first place. If you feeling responsible for all that's wrong in your relationship, if you're waiting for "someday" when things will be better, if you feel less-than-equal to your partner, if you feel like you're "walking on eggshells" around this person - then it's time you get the facts on NPD and stop taking blame and feeling lousy for a disorder that is not your own - a disorder rarely talked about and still frequently misunderstood, even by therapists.

Product Details

• Paperback: 277 pages
• Publisher: Out of the Boxx Pub; 1ST edition (April 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0974350478
• ISBN-13: 978-0974350479
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #796,045 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

45 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is THE BOOK of 2004!, September 3, 2004

By 

Leona...CA USA - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: When Your "Perfect Partner" Goes Perfectly Wrong: Loving Or Leaving The Narcissist In Your Life (Paperback)

I give this book a "thumbs up" way beyond five stars! It is a MUST READ for anyone ever having been involved with a narcissist.

In these relationships the biggest thing that is broken is OURSELVES! We come to accept that there really never was a healthy, meaningful, and fulfilling relationship with the narcissist. It was all a ficade! We were only a source of THEIR much-needed supply at the expense of OURSELVES. How easily we be fooled. We need "special handling" in healing our loss and coming back to life. This is not about the typical recovery from a lost love.

It has been said on the internet that having a love relationship with a narcissist is like "walking in the Garden of Eden, only to find ourselves in Hell Park!" That is the absolute truth. Mary Jo takes you through that journey of FEELINGS like no other book I've ever read.

She is the first author I've found who has tapped the depths of the profound emotional experience unique to recovering from this type of relationship. I have read so many books on relationships and personality disorders that I have long lost count. NEVER before this book had I read ANYTHING that revealed the horrific FEELINGS of a non-NPD in such relationships, and the severe aftermath. Our lives are literally turned upside down and we are exhausted and dizzy from it all... having temporarily lost ourselves and our equilibrium.

Most books I've read previously cover the clinical symptoms and the reactions of the non... yet nothing, nor no one anywhere, EVER validated my actual FEELINGS the way this book did. In this book Mary Jo will lead you towards becoming a SURVIVOR!.. and you will begin to heal, having had the validation that we victims desperately need.

Again, don't miss this one folks if you even suspect a narcissist in your life!

56 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If your interested in learning about narcissism then this is a MUST have book!!!, August 1, 2005

By 

R. Glazer (Long Island, New York) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: When Your "Perfect Partner" Goes Perfectly Wrong: Loving Or Leaving The Narcissist In Your Life (Paperback)

I WISH I would have had this book AS SOON as it was published. I just finished the last page this morning. It took me no time to read it and I have to say it was THE BEST book on narcissism I have come accross!! I spent hundreds of dollars on books and none of them compare to this one - God's honest truth!!!

I have bought and read the following books: Help, I'm in Love with a Narcissist, Why Is It Always About You? : Saving Yourself from the Narcissists in Your Life, Lies! Lies!! Lies!!!: The Psychology of Deceit, The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family, Emotional Unavailability : Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap, Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents, and Emotional Vampires : Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry, just to name a few, BUT this one tops them all. The others were well written, but not nearly as informative as this book was, in my opinion.

Not enough is written on the subject of narcissism and not many people are aware of how manipulative and narcissitic some people (men mostly) can be until it is too late. You find out that the 'perfect love' you thought you had and waited for your entire life (like a night in shinning armor or a prince charming) was just a cruel hoax and what you really fell in love with was a mask that looked real, but was a pathetic lie.

If you are looking for 'answers' to your questions as to why narcissits behave like they do or why you fell for them look no further because this book will answer those questions.

31 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book For Survivors, June 15, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: When Your "Perfect Partner" Goes Perfectly Wrong: Loving Or Leaving The Narcissist In Your Life (Paperback)

A really well written book on narcisstic abuse and the survivors.
It gives a insightfull view of the survivor's experience from their perspective.
Many first person personal stories about damage, emotional and mental, suffered by the victims. Reading about other peoples experience helps immensely with understanding the illness.
I have read other books on this topic but Mary Jo's unique understanding and writing about this very misunderstood disease is refreshing. Her ability to use layman terms to explain a very complicated disorder is unique.
Mary Jo takes you from victim to survivor and gives you tools to regain your life, health and happiness back. This is no easy task and she lays it all out in a very clear, concise approach.
Great book, must read if you are studying this illness.