Customer Reviews

When Your "Perfect Partner" Goes Perfectly Wrong: Loving Or Leaving The Narcissist In Your Life

5 star:		(15)
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2 star:		(3)
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I give this book a "thumbs up" way beyond five stars! It is a MUST READ for anyone ever having been involved with a narcissist.

In these relationships the biggest thing that is broken is OURSELVES! We come to accept that there really never was a healthy, meaningful, and fulfilling relationship with the narcissist. It was all a ficade! We were only a source of THEIR much-needed supply at the expense of OURSELVES. How easily we be fooled. We need "special handling" in healing our loss and coming back to life. This is not about the typical recovery from a lost love.

It has been said on the internet that having a love relationship with a narcissist is like "walking in the Garden of Eden, only to find ourselves in Hell Park!" That is the absolute truth. Mary Jo takes you through that journey of FEELINGS like no other book I've ever read.

She is the first author I've found who has tapped the depths of the profound emotional experience unique to recovering from this type of relationship. I have read so many books on relationships and personality disorders that I have long lost count. NEVER before this book had I read ANYTHING that revealed the horrific FEELINGS of a non-NPD in such relationships, and the severe aftermath. Our lives are literally turned upside down and we are exhausted and dizzy from it all... having temporarily lost ourselves and our equilibrium.

Most books I've read previously cover the clinical symptoms and the reactions of the non... yet nothing, nor no one anywhere, EVER validated my actual FEELINGS the way this book did. In this book Mary Jo will lead you towards becoming a SURVIVOR!.. and you will begin to heal, having had the validation that we victims desperately need.

Again, don't miss this one folks if you even suspect a narcissist in your life!

I WISH I would have had this book AS SOON as it was published. I just finished the last page this morning. It took me no time to read it and I have to say it was THE BEST book on narcissism I have come accross!! I spent hundreds of dollars on books and none of them compare to this one - God's honest truth!!!

I have bought and read the following books: Help, I'm in Love with a Narcissist, Why Is It Always About You? : Saving Yourself from the Narcissists in Your Life, Lies! Lies!! Lies!!!: The Psychology of Deceit, The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family, Emotional Unavailability : Recognizing It, Understanding It, and Avoiding Its Trap, Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting over Narcissistic Parents, and Emotional Vampires : Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry, just to name a few, BUT this one tops them all. The others were well written, but not nearly as informative as this book was, in my opinion.

Not enough is written on the subject of narcissism and not many people are aware of how manipulative and narcissitic some people (men mostly) can be until it is too late. You find out that the 'perfect love' you thought you had and waited for your entire life (like a night in shinning armor or a prince charming) was just a cruel hoax and what you really fell in love with was a mask that looked real, but was a pathetic lie.

If you are looking for 'answers' to your questions as to why narcissits behave like they do or why you fell for them look no further because this book will answer those questions.

A really well written book on narcisstic abuse and the survivors.
It gives a insightfull view of the survivor's experience from their perspective.
Many first person personal stories about damage, emotional and mental, suffered by the victims. Reading about other peoples experience helps immensely with understanding the illness.
I have read other books on this topic but Mary Jo's unique understanding and writing about this very misunderstood disease is refreshing. Her ability to use layman terms to explain a very complicated disorder is unique.
Mary Jo takes you from victim to survivor and gives you tools to regain your life, health and happiness back. This is no easy task and she lays it all out in a very clear, concise approach.
Great book, must read if you are studying this illness.

There are very few good books on personality disorders. Narcissistic personality disorder ruins many lives, yet there is so little written about the subject. If you have been involved with a narcissist, you absolutely must read this book. It is amazing to me that individual narcissists are so very similar to each other! When you read about the experiences of other victims of narcissists you will see that all narcissists are locked into the same pattern. The things you found unbelievable in your own life have happened to many others, and you will be empowered by learning to "know your enemy". The best lesson of this book is that your narcissist does not love you, he does not love your replacement, he does not love anyone. He is only using "love" as a manipulative tool. I hope this book will help you escape with your sanity intact.

When Your "Perfect Partner" Goes Perfectly Wrong: Loving Or Leaving The Narcissist In Your Life by author, columnist, national speaker Mary Jo Fay clearly lays out the problems and necessities of living with a spouse or life-partner who is exhibits a "Narcissistic Personality Disorder". Here is a self-help guide that teaches the reader to be alert for signs of egotistical and controlling behavior, a partner who can never be happy no matter what you do, and other red flags, as well as what to do to defend oneself from being a pawn in a sex game, caught in a replay of past abuse, surrounded on all sides by a family of narcissists, and coping with narcissists in the workplace or among one's friends as well as romantic partners. The true stories of those who weathered manipulation are sure to reverberate with anyone who has endured similar maltreatment and selfishness.

The victims of the narcissist's abusive conduct feel hemmed in, trapped, isolated, and annulled. This book help them re-emerge and regain mastery of their lives. If you want to know what it is really like being the victim of relentless abuse by narcissists - buy this book. It masterfully combines numerous first hand accounts of survivors with a deep knowledge of the disorder. Recommended! Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited.

Through my quest for more information on the narcissistic partner, I discovered WHEN YOUR PERFECT PARTNER GOES PERFECTLY WRONG and read it from cover to cover. Mary Jo delves into the behind-the-scenes lives of several people whose lives have been torn apart or forever changed)by their encounters with narcissistic personality disorder.This is a wonderful book for anyone who is already somewhat familiar with narcissism and its related problems.My favorite part is her comparison of the traits of the survivor versus the victim.

Mary Jo Fay is trying to bring to the forefront one of the major types of domestic emotional abuse which is relatively unrecognized by victims as well as professionals as of today. That is narcissism.
This book is not only helpful in recognizing the traits of the narcissist, but also in helping victims of this type of abuse to understand that it is not their fault.
The book contains in depth stories of victims as well as a chapter by a self-proclaimed narcissist.

The reason this book is so invaluable is because she knows the subject so well. I suppose that is because she had been through it herself - she hasn't just read about it. I have read several articles on NPD, but this book hit closest to home. What I really like is her emphasis on not remaining the VICTIM. Reading her book helps me to reflect on my part - why I allowed it and what steps I can make to change myself so that it NEVER happens again!

This book is an eye opener for those of us who had no prior knowledge of narcissism and its overwhelming negative impact on its victims. I've never been a victim of a narcissist, but I now understand the people in my life whose lives have been controlled and damaged by them. I could see the controlling behaviors, but could not understand why they wouldn't leave. This book will be an invaluable resource to the victims and help them understand what's happening and show them that they have options.