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When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You: Finding God's Patterns for Healthy Relationships Paperback – July 1, 2010


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When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You: Finding God's Patterns for Healthy Relationships + Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life: Setting Boundaries on Unhealthy Relationships
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Harvest House Publishers (July 1, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0736927786
  • ISBN-13: 978-0736927789
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #149,261 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

With more than 35 years of counseling experience, David Hawkins, PhD, has a special interest in helping individuals and couples strengthen their relationships. Dr. Hawkins' books, including When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You and Dealing with the CrazyMakers in Your Life, have more than 350,000 copies in print.

More About the Author

Dr. David Hawkins has been counseling for over thirty years and is the author of more than thirty books, including the best-selling series, Your Pocket Therapist. He is also the weekly advice columnist for both Crosswalk.com and CBN.com. Dr. Hawkins founded the Marriage Recovery Center and owns Pacific Psychological Associates with offices located throughout Washington State. He lives on Bainbridge Island, Washington, with his wife, Christie. Visit him online at http://www.yourrelationshipdoctor.com.

Customer Reviews

This book has been life changing for me.
A. Vanderhorst
This is a great book,especially for women because we tend to be people pleasers to a fault at time.
DARLA LAWSON
I highly recommend this book to anyone trying to learn to set healthy boundaries for themselves.
Christie C. Hartke

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 38 people found the following review helpful By B.D. on March 13, 2006
Format: Paperback
I recently found out (at age 46) I am codependent. This has shaken my world. This book was extremely helpful. It gives a thorough description of the symptoms of codependency and why it develops. It also gives the reader hope that life can (and will) be different in the future. I especially appreciated the Christian viewpoint and the fact that it didn't assume an alcoholic problem in the family is the cause. Many other situations can cause a child to grow up codependent. It is very readable and other members of the family who live with the codependent will benefit from reading it as well.
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35 of 38 people found the following review helpful By Tina on July 2, 2005
Format: Paperback
Maybe for those who do not struggle with issues of co-dependency this book may seem like a blame game as in the review above. But for me it was a major eye opener and helped my life make sense.

It has helped to give me permission to take responsiblity to make the changes that I need to make. It has helped untwist many lies I have believed and opened my eyes to areas of my life that I could not see. As with any book or issue it is just one piece, a tool to be used in the healing process. I recommend it highly.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Christie C. Hartke on February 3, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book was recommended by a friend who thought it might be helpful. It has changed the way I see things, and most important, has helped me take much better care of myself. I am working my way out of codependence, a problem I've had much of my life. I'm learning how to set healthy boundaries, and this helps me be a better friend to others. I highly recommend this book to anyone trying to learn to set healthy boundaries for themselves.
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19 of 22 people found the following review helpful By erscrissy on May 9, 2006
Format: Paperback
Until this book I didnt even realize I was a people pleaser, just knew the back cover had some substance and points for my life. Then I bought it and read it and it changed my life! I went from worrying over everything and everyone. Worrying over how others felt even if I was right to stand up for myself to being a stronger woman. Men really will fill the voids in our emotional life! This book teaches you where you learned it, what caused it and how to eliminate the issues. Go Women! And it said some MEN are people pleasers too! Just about every emotional issue I had was linked some way to this! I feel great now! Most importantly, I understand completely.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By E. Haas on July 24, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Granted, I'm only 1/2 way finished, but within the first 2 chapters I was making some SERIOUS life/attitude/perception changes. I like being a giver, someone EVERYone can depend on (including myself). I tend to think, "At some point in time these people will come around and be there for me, too!" But often times, at the end of the day I just feel spent. Too tired for anyone, including my self. This book has helped me gain a clearer Godly perspective on the people in my life, recognizing patterns that are both healthy & unhealthy, and I've learned how to begin a healthy change so at the end of the day I feel I've done well for myself, as well.

If you are the kind of person who tends to depend on others, I would like to recomend this book to you, as well so that you may see how your needyness and co-dependancy effects those who care for you.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Renee Mullins on May 2, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
David Hawkins is very talented at taking counseling theories and combining them with Biblical truths to help people estabilish healthy boundaries. It even has a chapter helping readers to understand the spiritual damage that can occur from churches that begin to care more about their own power and control over thier congregation than they care about building each person's individual gifts. If you have a pleasing personality, this book is a must read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By A. Vanderhorst on February 21, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book has been life changing for me. I am thoroughly enjoying this book and it has made me look at life completely different. My relationships will never be the same after the knowledge I have gained from reading this book. I recommend this book to people of all ages that want to have healthier relationships.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By DARLA LAWSON on October 4, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This author is very insightful. This is a great book,especially for women because we tend to be people pleasers to a fault at time.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews