Dr. Tamara Greenberg offers hope and practical advice to those impacted by a loved one's chronic illness. Providing easy-to-understand explanations for complicated feelings and behaviors, this book will help you not just cope, but thrive in your day-to-day life. Learn the important tools you need to help lighten the burden we all feel when someone we love is ill.
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Dr. Tamara McClintock Greenberg has taken on a timely and multi-leveled problem that every individual and family will face at some time in their lives. She combines human compassion with convincing and well-supported data that is applicable to so many situations people face when they, or their loved ones, lose their ability to continue life as it has been. Chronic illness requires that all people involved must face major transformations to survive these experiences intact. In my forty years of practice, I have rarely come across a patient who has not had to deal with this in some way. Dr. Greenberg manages to cover every viable and crucial aspect of this subject in a book that is at once both extremely helpful and emotionally touching." --- --Dr. Randi Gunther; author of Relationship Saboteurs and When Love Stumbles.
Tamara McClintock Greenberg, PsyD, MS is a licensed clinical psychologist (PSY16206) in San Francisco.
As an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, Tamara's writing has focused on health psychology, psychoanalytic psychology, and coping with illness. She supervises and teaches in the San Francisco Bay Area on topics such as the culture of Western Medicine, psychotherapy, psychoanalytic psychotherapy, and medical consultation. She is the author of The Psychological Impact of Acute and Chronic Illness: A Practical Guide for Primary Care Physicians (Springer 2007) and was a contributor to the Praeger Publication, Whole Person Healthcare (2007). More recent books include Psychodynamic Perspectives on Aging and Illness (Springer 2009) and When Someone You Love Has a Chronic Illness (Cedar Fort, 2012). Her website is tamara-greenberg.com
Dr. Tamara McClintock Greenberg has written a wonderfully illuminating and healing book for anyone who has to deal with a family member or loved one who suffers from chronic health problems. In down-to-earth language, she is instructive, validating, and immensely helpful in offering hope and support to those who have to care for others with a debilitating health-related illness. This is the first book of its kind that addresses the emotionally taxing and physical demands of attendant care with loved ones who also need support and respite. Without equivocation, this is one of the best self-help books on the market.
Bringing complex psychological ideas to the public eye in accessible prose, Greenberg succeeds admirably in educating people on the dynamics of chronic illness and how to cope with the ongoing challenges they pose. Written for both patients who have enduring health problems and those who interact with them, whether this be a family member, spouse, partner, caretaker, co-worker, friend, or neighbor, she covers topics that are often thought about, but not usually discussed openly with others. Her advice is practical, sophisticated, sound, and sincere, hence drawn from her years of experience as a psychologist working clinically with health populations.
Greenberg explains how chronic illness is a family disease and the caretakers are just as affected as the patient. She gives voice to their emotional pain, despair, anxiety, loss, and helplessness, and creates a permissible space for them to process their feelings and communicate most effectively with those who they care for.... Providing communicative and behavioral strategies, as well as coping checklists, the reader is given pragmatic guidelines on how to talk about sensitive topics with those who are ill, how to mediate healthcare needs with medical professionals, and how to manage one's own anxiety, worry, and grief. What is most useful and instructive are professional tips on how to talk openly and tactfully to the ill person in a helpful way, what to say and what not to say, how to be present and listen, and not be overwhelmed by the need to express platitudes, offer false reassurances, cheer people up, collude with denial, or avoid difficult emotional material. Various scenarios allow the reader to connect with real life experiences they themselves likely encounter on a frequent basis, such as dealing with doctors, becoming educated about modern medicine and changing healthcare practices, how to talk business with physicians, and managing emotions in medical settings.
Often patients and caretakers alike live in denial of the impending deterioration chronic health problems pose. Greenberg also tackles this topic with lucidity and guidance on how to accept facts with courage and grace so that non-compliance with medical advice is combated. Equally important is how non-compliant patients affect their relationships with others due to conflict and tension they generate by their denial and non-compliance. Psychological and physical care of the caregiver is an important chapter because it lends help for the helpers and offers strategies on how to care for yourself and find support systems that help you regenerate. Overall, Dr. Greenberg offers empathy, inspiration, and encouragement to those to help their loved ones deal with chronic pain, build positive relationships, attend to painful emotions, to protect oneself from vicarious trauma, and manage the systemic suffering that besieges a family. This edifying book is a compassionate, supportive guide that allows caretakers to deal with life and loss through their humane and healing journey.
Jon Mills, Psy.D., Ph.D., ABPP Professor of Psychology & Psychoanalysis, Adler Graduate Professional School, TorontoRead more ›
A fabulous book with clear explanations and tips for dealing with the illness of a loved one. I highly recommend this book for those dealing with chronic illness either as a patient but especially for those struggling with the illness of a family member or friend. The author points out some of the difficulties encountered in facing illness and some more productive ways to deal with those challenges. I appreciated the summarized tips at the end of each chapter which distill down what is discussed in each chapter.
I especially appreciated Greenberg's summary of the culture of our current health care system and how best to deal with it. For example, she points out that doctors have so many obligations and patients to attend to they generally do not have time to engage in extended discussions about emotional reactions to health problems. She recommends that as either a patient or family member you take the initiative in terms of health care and come into an appointment with questions/concerns clearly in mind to discuss. She suggests treating doctor appointments as business meetings and to prepare accordingly. Great advice to my way of thinking.
The experiences that she shares throughout the book add clarity to the points she makes about the emotions and reactions to illness. The author points out the importance of self-care and facing the emotions associated with chronic illness either as a patient or as a loved one. She explains that the helplessness often felt by those associated with the patient can often lead to further problems if not appropriately directed. I recommend this book for its clear explanations and great advice.
I really enjoyed perusing this book. The author writes in a way that her explanations really engage you and keep you reading further. Her helpful nature brings light to a subject that is often misunderstood, especially when emotions get involved. I really appreciated this tool and while it was a quick, easy read, there was enough there to help you learn so that you didn't feel you needed to research more after reading the book. I would recommend this book to anyone that is having difficulty dealing with an illness or wants to help another with illness.
I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.
Tamara has written a tool that is useful for anyone living or working with someone suffering from a chronic illness. She provides a practical guide and useful examples of pitfalls that we all can make when trying to support a loved one or someone in need. She instructs us on how to take care of ourselves when overwhelmed with the helplessness often felt when caring for someone with a chronic illness. Her book allows the reader to connect with the material and begin to incorporate the newly learned information into your life. It's a quick read that is easily understood and even easier to apply. I have recommended this book to others who are working with someone suffering from a chronic illness. This truly is a useful tool that should be read by anyone wanting to know how to support someone suffering, how to understand and get what you need from your medical provider, and how to ensure that you also learn how to support yourself.
Reading When Someone You Love Has a Chronic Illness is like having a wise, compassionate and supremely practical companion to help you navigate one of life's most difficult, and lonely, experiences. Dr. Greenberg is the advocate that every caretaker for a beloved patient needs. I wish it would have been available when I took care of my husband during an extended illness years ago, and I will certainly recommend it to any of my patients in this predicament.
