The prospect of divorce is a painful reality for many couples in North America today. Judaism has long struggled to establish reasonable and humane options for Jewish couples contemplating divorce. In When There Is No Other Alternative, Rabbi Sandy Seltzer examines what traditional Jewish sources have to say about this difficult juncture in those individuals' lives. Seltzer explores the phenomenon of shelom bayit, domestic abuse within Jewish families, the connection between the traditional ketubah and alimony, the difficulties that confront children born of intermarried couples considering divorce, and the necessity of a get. The book is highly recommended for rabbis, marriage counselors, therapists, and divorcing couples seeking guidance.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Too simple, too obvious,
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This review is from: When There Is No Other Alternative: A Spiritual Guide for Jewish Couples Contemplating Divorce (Paperback)
As a middle-aged husband and father at the beginning of a divorce, I have sought out Jewish perspectives on lost love, separation, and divorce. This was the first book on the subject that I read. I was disappointed and somewhat frustrated by the author's simplistic approach to such a complex topic. I am no opponent to simplicity, but bare bones treatments of difficult subjects, particularly subjects with significant emotional value, do very few readers much service. Perhaps reading this book will provide readers with an ego boost, if you can convince yourself that having thought of most everything the author offers is a good sign for your future. I couldn't. I realize that I may not be the typical reader of this book and perhaps my expectations were too high. I can't ignore the possibility that other's, certainly those who are seeking a rudimentary explication of Jewish attitudes toward divorce, might find this book to be a first foothold into the subject. For me, this book offered very little that I couldn't easily reason myself or find via a Google search.
In my opinion, a much better written and more useful work is Divorce Is a Mitzvah: A Practical Guide to Finding Wholeness and Holiness When Your Marriage Dies. I suggest that anyone looking for information about and guidance through at divorce from a Jewish perspective look at this book before deciding if "When there is no alternative" offers anything that "MItzvah" does not. In fact, I have found Divorce Is a Mitzvah: A Practical Guide to Finding Wholeness and Holiness When Your Marriage Dies to be as good or better than most secular books I have read on the subject of divorce. It is clear, well-written, and soothing. A description that I can't apply to the book being reviewed here.
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