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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
 
 
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When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times [Hardcover]

Pema Chodron (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (179 customer reviews)


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Hardcover, December 24, 1996 --  
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Book Description

December 24, 1996
There is a fundamental happiness right within our reach, yet we usually miss it—ironically, while caught up in attempts to escape pain and suffering. Pema Chödrön's radical and compassionate advice for what to do when things fall apart in our lives goes against the grain of our usual habits and expectations and confronts us with traditional Buddhist wisdom. There is only one approach to suffering that is of lasting benefit, Pema teaches, and that approach involves moving toward painful situations to the best of our ability with friendliness and curiosity, relaxing into the essential groundlessness of our entire situation. It is there, in the midst of chaos, that we can discover the truth and love that are indestructible. Included in the book are: Ways to use painful emotions to cultivate wisdom, compassion, and courage Ways to communicate that lead to openness and true intimacy with others Practices for reversing our negative habitual patterns Methods for working with chaotic situations Ways to cultivate compassionate, energetic social action


Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Much like Zen, Pema Chodron's interpretation of Tibetan Buddhism takes the form of a nontheistic spiritualism. In When Things Fall Apart this head of a Tibetan monastery in Canada outlines some relevant and deceptively profound terms of Tibetan Buddhism that are germane to modern issues. The key to all of these terms is accepting that in the final analysis, life is groundless. By letting go, we free ourselves to face fear and obstacles and offer ourselves unflinchingly to others. The graceful, conversational tone of Chodron's writing gives the impression of sitting on a pillow across from her, listening to her everyday examples of Buddhist wisdom.

From Publishers Weekly

Pema Chodron, a student of Chogyam Trunpa Rinpoche and Abbot of Gampo Abbey, has written the Tibetan Buddhist equivalent of Harold Kushner's famous book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. As the author indicates in the postscript to her book: "We live in difficult times. One senses a possibility they may get worse." Consequently, Chodron's book is filled with useful advice about how Buddhism helps readers to cope with the grim realities of modern life, including fear, despair, rage and the feeling that we are not in control of our lives. Through reflections on the central Buddhist teaching of right mindfulness, Chodron orients readers and gives them language with which to shape their thinking about the ordinary and extraordinary traumas of modern life. But most importantly, Chodron demonstrates how effective the Buddhist point of view can be in bringing order into disordered lives.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 147 pages
  • Publisher: Shambhala; 1st edition (December 24, 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1570621608
  • ISBN-13: 978-1570621604
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (179 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #298,126 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Pema Chödrön is an American Buddhist nun in the lineage of Chögyam Trungpa. She is resident teacher at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia, the first Tibetan monastery in North America established for Westerners. She is also the author of many books and audiobooks, including the best-selling When Things Fall Apart and Don't Bite the Hook.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
265 of 271 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
I was just finishing this book in September 2001 when the events of 9-11 turned the world upside down, and things truly fell apart. There suddenly were all the vulnerable feelings that Pema Chödrön encourages us to embrace: fear, sorrow, loneliness, groundlessness. And in the days of shock and grief that followed, there was that brief and abundant display of "maitri," or loving kindness, which emerged in waves of generosity and compassion for one another. For a while, we were in the world that she points to as an alternative to the everyday routine of getting, spending, and constant activity.

It is nearly impossible to summarize or characterize this fine book. In some 150 pages it covers more than a person could hope to absorb in many years, if not a lifetime. We may know the Buddha's famous insight that human pain and suffering result from desire and aversion. But few writers have been able to articulate as well as Chödrön the implications of that insight in ways that make sense to the Western mind. As just one example from this book, her discussion of the "six kinds of loneliness" (chap. 9) illustrates how our desires to achieve intimacy with others are an attempt to run away from a deep encounter with ourselves. Our continuing efforts to establish security for ourselves are a denial of fundamental truths, which prevents our deep experience of the joy of living. Our reluctance to love ourselves and others closes down our hearts.

Chödrön invites us to be fascinated, as she is, by paradox. On hopelessness and death (chap. 7) she writes: "If we're willing to give up hope that insecurity and pain can be exterminated, then we can have the courage to relax with the groundlessness of our situation. This is the first step on the path." She gets us to acknowledge our restlessness (even our spiritual restlessness) for what it is, something we do instead of simply paying attention to ourselves in the moment and to what happens next, without judgment or preconceptions.

In addition to this book, I recommend acquiring one or more of her audio tapes and hearing her voice as she speaks before audiences. For all the high-mindedness that may come across in descriptions like the one above, or what you might take away by reading the cover of her book, Chödrön is down to earth and unpretentious, speaking in her American accent (don't let the appearance of her name fool you) and with a self-effacing sense of humor. Her message is in her manner, as much as it is in what she says.

This is a book to buy and read, and reread at intervals, for it is always new, always speaking to you exactly where you are, right now.

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140 of 147 people found the following review helpful
Not for the faint of heart! December 30, 2002
Format:Paperback
This book has resided on the shelf next to my bed for many years and has been read often. Reading through a few reviews at this site it is clear many people are willing to listen to Pema Chodron's uncompromising words about the challenges of being human. For those people seeking a few comforting bromides, who expected a self-help book, this material must surely be unwelcome. But it is far from trite and certainly not depressing. Tibetan Buddhists practice in the charnal grounds not because they're depressives, but because life ends in death for all of us. And charnal grounds in Tibet were places where hacked up bodies were fed to circling vultures...no quickly slipping a deceased body into a casket to avoid confronting the withered body or the odors associated with illness and death for these Buddhists.

When I attended a Pema Chodron lecture some years ago she announced that her favorite manta is "Om, grow up!" It takes great courage to meet life on life's terms and accept responsiblity for our actions. And since life invariably brings challenges associated with disappointment and loss, the work continues to the moment of death. In our addicted society, that is a message all too readily rejected. Pema is not for the faint of heart! But if you intend to claim your aliveness, to risk intimacy, to share joy, her words are worth attending to. Namaste.

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92 of 96 people found the following review helpful
Excellent Reading October 21, 1999
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
Ane Pema Chodron writes in a clear and simple manner. I read this book about twice a year, because I learn something new or revisit concepts that I might have overlooked previously. It is clearly not just reading for when you go through tough times - its applicable to daily life. Pema's style is simple, clear and very human. We can all understand and relate to the teachings. It also provides us with an understanding of what we are going through and clear methods to deal with our situations and life.

For people who meditate - it is excellent reading. It gets you to understand what you go through when life is difficult, and how it is of great benefit along your path. It is like drinking a long cool glass of clear water on a warm day - clear and refreshing.

Its a great book to give as a gift. This book is a wonderful gift given to us by Pema Chodron.

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Most Recent Customer Reviews
thought provoking, calming
I like her books. This CD was so calming to listen to. Very thought provoking. I think i would be useful to someone who is unfamiliar to buddhism, but I am not sure about that.
Published 7 days ago by Penn Name
One of the most important books I've ever read.
WOW. Just wow! I was floundering. This wonderful book gave me a handle with which to understand and deal with what I perceived as the horrible and out of control events in my... Read more
Published 11 days ago by imdcat
Meditation
This book is not for me. There are quite a few references to Rinpoche's and it seems to repeat alot of the same messages.
Published 21 days ago by moonwillow313
Interesting and informative
This book is mostly Buddhist teachings which I knew nothing about prior to reading. It is very interesting and well written and I look forward at night to reading it. Read more
Published 28 days ago by Daryl Slattery
Depressing book
I picked up this book thinking that it would be give some perspective and clarity on how to deal with life events in a measured way. Read more
Published 4 months ago by objective
When Things Fall Apart
With everything that's happened in my life this year, my mom found this book and thought it would be a good read for me. Read more
Published 4 months ago by M. Reynard
Wonderful book
Cuts right through to the core, wonderful chapters, truthful, honest, well worded. Would recommend this book to anyone and everyone.
Published 5 months ago by EricG
Traveling with Heart
This is one of the best Dharma books I have read. It has a revolutionary magic that is fairly unknown to many of us. That is, going right into the heart of suffering. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Outlaw
When Things Fall Apart Pema Chodron
This book is steeped in buddhist wisdom and presented in a very easy to read and digestable way, Pema Chodrons no nonsence language and approach is refreshing. Read more
Published 5 months ago by voluptous
cheaper than Valium
And more potent, too.

I've had a healing time reading this book, and I believe you may as well.

Would recommend
Published 6 months ago by Liberty Wright
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
Embarking on the spiritual journey is like getting into a very small boat and setting out on the ocean to search for unknown lands. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
basic wisdom mind, cool loneliness, own wisdom mind, reversing the wheel, unconditional relationship, charnel ground, whatever arises
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Trungpa Rinpoche, Guru Rinpoche, Khenpo Gangshar, New Mexico
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