When the Time Comes: Families with Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions [Hardcover]

Paula Span (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 10, 2009

What will you do when you get the call that a loved one has had a heart attack or a stroke? Or when you realize that a family member is too frail to live alone, but too healthy for a nursing home?

Journalist Paula Span shares the resonant narratives of several families who faced these questions. Each family contemplates the alternatives in elder care (from assisted living to multigenerational living to home care, nursing care, and at the end, hospice care) and chooses the right path for its needs. Span writes about the families' emotional challenges, their practical discoveries, and the good news that some of them find a situation that has worked for them and their loved ones. And many find joy in the duty of caring for an older loved one.

There are 45 million Americans caring for family members currently, and as the 77 million boomers continue to age, this number will only go up. Paula Span's stories are revealing and informative. They give a sense of all the emotional and practical factors that go into the major decisions about caregiving, so that readers will be better able to figure out what to do when the time comes for them and their loved ones.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Paula Span's When the Time Comes offers a realistic look at the challenges of caring for an aging parent that is both hopeful and practical." (professor of psychiatry, Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, co-author, THE 36-HOUR DAY Peter Rabins, MD MPH )

"Paula Span has animated the landscape of today's America through the stories of adult children and their parents struggling with the challenges of being old-deciding where to live, understanding the choices that exist, recognizing the sacrifices and rewards families experience along the way. If you are anticipating this journey, or are already on the road, When the Time Comes will give you both perspective and information that will illuminate your way." (Phyllis Mensh Brostoff, CISW, CMC President, National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers )

"A comprehensive and intelligent overview...This book serves as a perfect introduction for individuals anticipating the challenge of eldercare, as well as those in the midst of the experience. The author illustrates through poignant stories of older adults and families the stress, exhaustion and satisfaction woven into the caregiving experience. Warm, clear and refreshing." (Chief Geriatrics, Massachusetts General Hospital Kenneth L. Minaker, MD, FRCP(C), CSC (GM), UE )

"Useful for anyone facing one of the most difficult periods in their lives: how to deal with an aging, ailing parent who needs help inside or outside the home. Through interviews and anecdotes, Paula Span explores the many options available, provides comfort, answers questions, and helps you feel not so alone while making these monumental decisions." (author of MEASURE OF THE HEART Mary Ellen Geist )

Thank you, Paula. I'm going to give a copy of your book to all my children." (SilverPlanet.com Dr. Jane Duhl )

About the Author

Paula Span spent nearly 20 years at the Washington Post, first as the New York-based correspondent for the Style section, then as a staff writer for the Washington Post Magazine. She has also written for the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Boston Globe, the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, USA Today, New York magazine, Glamour, Ms., Esquire, Parenting, People, and others. She is currently a contributing writer for the Washington Post Magazine and teaches journalism at Columbia University.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Life & Style (June 10, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446581135
• ISBN-13: 978-0446581134
• Product Dimensions: 6.5 x 1.1 x 9.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #445,127 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Engaging, Helpful, and Thoughtful, June 10, 2009

By 

HollyMartins (Brooklyn, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: When the Time Comes: Families with Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions (Kindle Edition)

This is an extremely well-researched and well-written book on a topic that's all too relevant for many people. On the one hand, it's a very practical and realistic look at the various problems, options and solutions Americans with aging parents encounter; and on the other, it's a vivid selection of stories with well-drawn characters and complex, interesting issues. If you are in this situation with a parent it's a font of information, but even if you're not (or at least not yet), it's a thoroughly compelling read. Nothing is sugarcoated here, but it's still comforting in a way, as I felt much better prepared and informed - in the face of very thorny issues - after reading it. Highly, highly recommended.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful guide for caregiving, June 10, 2009

By 

BevE "BevE" (Ohio) - See all my reviews

This review is from: When the Time Comes: Families with Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions (Hardcover)

This is a book that should be read before you need it. When The Time Comes is a wonderful guide with real life stories that will help you make those hard decisions in caring for a parent or loved one. Paula provides the reader with up to date information on services, Medicare, Medicaid, as well as organizations and websites. Perhaps, it may even give you the opportunity to open a dialogue with your parent about what their hopes are for the future and what their wishes may be. I went through this twice with my parents and still found new advice in Paula's book. I would recommend this book to anyone who may be facing the challenge of becoming a caregiver.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A very readable book on a difficult subject, July 3, 2009

By 

Susan Yemin "Susan" (WESTFIELD, NJ United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: When the Time Comes: Families with Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions (Hardcover)

I met Paula Span as a result of reading her article in the NY Times and communicating directly with her. The small excerpt in the book on me and my Dad is in the chapter "Moving In: Shared Living". The account of our situation is entirely accurate. Since then my father took a bad fall and broke his hip and femur, which required surgery. Since then, he has been unable to live with us, and we've had experience in two facilities. I found reading Paula's book very accurate on the different options people have. More important, her true life stories which make up most of the book bring these options to life and made for a very readable and enjoyable book to immerse oneself in.