When It's Time to Leave Your Lover: A Guide for Gay Men [Paperback]

Neil Kaminsky (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 12, 1999

When It's Time to Leave Your Lover: A Guide for Gay Men is for people who need help ending a gay male relationship that is no longer viable or for friends and family who want to support a gay man experiencing a breakup. This book provides tips on how to successfully cope with the post-breakup period and how to grow emotionally from the experience. You will discover how to tell a lover good-bye while learning about the psychological and social changes to be anticipated in this situation. When It's Time to Leave Your Lover gives you helpful, practical advice on how to cope with ending a relationship in a positive and constructive manner.

This unique book contains actual interviews with gay men and vignettes that clearly illustrate the topics. They provide you with a deeper understanding of all aspects of the break-up period. When It's Time to Leave Your Lover is a unique how-to book that gives you helpful and practical advice on such important issues as:

• making an assessment of your relationship to determine if it is no longer viable
  
• constructively leaving your partner and making it a positive experience
  
• coping with the uncoupling experience by using specific techniques to avoid common mistakes such as the rebound relationship
  
• growing from your uncoupling experience so you can enjoy more fulfilling relationships in the future
  
• managing the social and psychological effects of a breakup through use of your support system of family and friends
  
• seeking support through specific organizations available in several different cities that help gay men deal with breakups

Sincere and full of knowledgeable advice, When It's Time to Leave Your Lover offers proven suggestions that will help you revisit the mistakes you made during your relationship, preparing you for more satisfying relationships in the future that are based on compatibility, respect, and trust. A valuable and reader-friendly book, When It's Time to Leave Your Lover will enhance your understanding of the break-up experience and will help you understand, learn from, and get past the heartache of ending a relationship.

Product Details

• Paperback: 308 pages
• Publisher: Routledge; 1 edition (September 12, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1560239387
• ISBN-13: 978-1560239383
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #781,026 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars When is it Time to Leave Your Lover, April 21, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: When It's Time to Leave Your Lover: A Guide for Gay Men (Paperback)

This book is incredibly useful,VERY well written with caring, meaningful(even humorous situational examples at times), it's examples are thoughtful & at times difficult, but with helpful questions. About the first 1/3 helps one reassess compatibility; next 1/3 how to separate or breakup with civility {including dealings with friends & family}; and lastly offers hope/suggestions for how to re-establish one's life again with tips how not to get caught in rebound relationships; suggestions for how to rebuild yourself, your interests, believe in your strengths & others; and how to grow and learn - even from being alone with your self which is different from being lonely. I highly recommend it. I wish it was reviewed more prominently by the gay press. It's a SUPERB resource for HOPE, ENCOURAGEMENT & Help! It also has a thorough reference/referral list.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars EXTREMELY COMFORTING. Cheesy cover., July 19, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: When It's Time to Leave Your Lover: A Guide for Gay Men (Paperback)

Last month I went through a breakup with my lover. Beforehand I picked up this book and it has been extremely helpful in coming to terms with the breakup and how to handle the aftermath. Sometimes when you are going through something so painful it is difficult to see the big picture. You let your emotions get the best of you. My advice is to keep this book on you (in your briefcase or bag) and keep reading it as you go through the breakup. Now that it is a month after the breakup this book continues to help me cope and maintain my original vision. It will help you deal with beginning your life again as a single man. It has helped me avoid common mistakes one makes when they are vulnerable and upset (going out too soon, partying, trying to be friends too soon). All of this is included. A great resource even with the cheesy cover. Good luck to you if you are going through this. It is tough but worth it! You may also want to read Coming Apart by Daphne Rose Kingma.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great advice, September 6, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: When It's Time to Leave Your Lover: A Guide for Gay Men (Paperback)

This book helped me immensely when it came time to part ways with my boyfriend. It's really geared toward people who know they want out of a problematic relationship, but are having difficulty owning up to their feelings. Kaminsky explains why wanting to be happy should not make readers feel guilty, helps identify the factors that contribute to troubled relationships, and shows readers how to avoid repeating their relationship mistakes in the future. The tone is hopeful and Kaminsky is an incredibly engaging writer, informal without over-simplifying. I recommend it without reservation!