Customer Reviews

When Violence Begins at Home: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding and Ending Domestic Abuse

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4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(0)

 

 

If you get only one book about domestic violence, this should be the one. It is comprehensive, and well-written. As a training specialist, it was one of my main sources for writing a domestic violence prevention training program. Some of the material is a little dated because in most states including mine, women are now allowed to introduce their history of domestic abuse in court where it was not allowed in the past. That may be a partial explanation why women who have killed their domestic partners have spent an average of 15 years in jail. Men who killed their domestic partners have spent an average of 2 to 3 years.

What I find most useful from this book is the information about the myths surrounding domestic violence. Before I worked with a rape victim who helped me develop my training program, I held some of these myths which revealed my ignorance. The next thing that I found helpful were the traits of the abuser. These traits should be clear signals for all women who are currently dating. The traits of the victim are perhaps the saddest of all. Generally, she denies that it is even happening to her, and blames herself for it. She feels that if she does what he wants, that will bring back the real nice, affectionate, romantic man she once knew. What she fails to realize is that he was that way all along. He just didn't show it until he had complete control over his victim. Children from abusive environments also show a number of traits or behaviors and the author catologues them too. Children from these homes are six times more likely to commit suicide, and 1000x more likely to become abusers themselves.

I do hope the one reviewer here gets the help he needs. While men can certainly be in abusive relationships from their female partners, 95% of the cases are men abusing women. Domestic violence accounts for one out of four visits to the emergency room, and costs this country 1.8 billion dollars a year in medical costs. And yes, 834,000 men per year are abused by their domestic partners. This book does list a number of sources for protection for men and women. It also recognizes women as abusers too. That would have been apparent by reading the book.

If you need help, confide in only a couple of faithful and loyal friends. Contact the police, not family. Get a court order of protection (or peace). Avoid marriage counseling; it makes matters worse, not better. The batterer must get the counseling alone. Relocate if necessary.

Remember, in the batterer's eyes you are only property.



Also recommended:

Michael Hertica & Wendy Deaton, "A Therapist's Guide to Growing Free: A Manual for Survivors of Domestic Violence."

This is a very well written and comprehensive book about domestic violence. This is one of the best books I have seen on the subject and I highly recommend it for anyone involved in a DV relationship, or who works with people who are.

There was a problem with this order but the supplier went above and beyond to correct it. Great Job, Thanks

I love this book. I bought it for a class, and not only is it very helpful...but the information is very informative and I will use this long after my class is over.

I am really pleased with the books that I have recieved. I am crunched for time and my books come earlier than expected, or right on time; but, never late. I appreciate all of the efforts from each and every supplier. Thanks!

This book is very helpful. Its give you more insight to what actually happens and what you can do to help. I like the chapter that gives the historical aspects of domestic abuse. Overall it is a good book.

If you are reading this review, it is clear you are seeking help. This book serves as a rather complete guide to hear you, understand your situation and a means to offer you help. Do not just read about the help you need....get the help you need.
You do not want to suffer the loss of your children's respect and damage to their adult lives, your self respect or your life from possible death. Do something for yourself now...only you can do it...with God's Help. Here is some help.

55% of all domestic violence is caused by women, not men. This book only seperates and promotes discrimination against men. Both men and women are abused and should be treated the same. This problem will only start to be solved when, all Shelters are open to men and women, not just "the weaker sex." Everyone should care about this problem because, ALL VICTIMS ENd UP IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM WITHOUT HEALTH INSURANCE which means YOU PAY FOR THEIR CARE!