Customer Reviews

When I Was Five I Killed Myself

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

"Getting in touch with your inner child" has been given an entirely new voice. "When I Was Five, I Killed Myself", a re-release of an amazing story by Howard Buten, has just found new life on this side of the ocean. Originally published as "Burt" here in the States in 1981, this original and fresh young adult book didn't find immediate success. Buten then published it in France, where it (and he) became known as "one of France's best-loved contemporary writers", even though the author and the story are both American. Go figure.

"When I Was Five..." is the wholly original story of Burton Rembrandt, a precocious and misunderstood young man, trying to grow up around adults who seem to have landed here from another planet. None of their words or actions make much sense to Burton...or Burt...but, neither does he to those who must try and to understand and deal with his unique way of seeing the world around him. When an event transpires totally out of Burt's control, and the resulting backlash lands him in The Children's Trust Residence Center, Burt finds himself in a dangerous and completely alien new world. Nothing makes sense to him anymore...and he reacts in the only way he knows how...by throwing tantrums, aching to voice not only his confusion at the treatment he's recieving, but also at his frustration with not being able to communicate with adults.

Told completely from Burt's point of view, this story is one of the most intelligent and lyrical stories ever written. Given the mysticism of youth and told in a voice that is at once immature and completely adult, this goes down as one of the most influential books I have ever read in this genre. It's message and story literally took my breath away at times...and it's importance lingers long after I've read the last word.

It's not very often you come across books of this magnitude and scope,it is not easy either to choose a favourite book of all time. Yet this book which I have read years and years ago was a true revelation. It speaks to the child in you, it reaches out to the reader in a mysterious and profound way.It's like reliving a child's dream, remembering a song you used to sing as a child or a face from times forgotten. I think what's best about it is that the more you read it , the more you wish you could do something about it. if all books were written like this one, the word fiction will no longer be appropriate.

This is a beautiful novel. Getting frustrated not being able to find novel "novels" to suit my taste I stumbled upon this gem during my "reading crisis" and started to read it. I admit, I was intrigued by the title and that is why i snatched it from its warm surrounding in the store. Experiencing the mind and situations from Burt's view is a different experience. We all try to remember what it was like when we were kids, but this is different. There are nuances and traits in here that we forget. Innocence that we as adults cannot fathom anymore. And through Burt's writings we are also seeing how a child's mind will piece together a history of experiences and illusions to convey a thread reality. Buten, a clinical psychologist and performing artist (Buffo the clown) doesn't just present an 8-year-old character. He brings that child to life. I have a friend that has 10 year old son. I have known these two for a few years. As I was reading this book I could hear all everything in Chris' voice.

This book keeps hidden the reason why Burt is in the Children's Trust Residence Center until the end. The ending reveals a warmth, compassion and yet a haunting feeling. Very moving.

I want to say more, but I don't want to take away from anyone's reading experience, should they read this.

The life of eight year old Burton Rembrandt is brought to us through his eyes and voice, and what a story it is. While seemingly normal in so many ways, there is also a profoundly troubling element to his young life. After a traumatic event occurs, Burton is sent to the "Children's Trust Residence Center" for treatment. Burton's behavior and motivation proves to be baffling for the staff, with the exception of one young Doctor who tries to help and befriend him. This is a profound and unsettling little book, that will make you painfully aware of how fine the line is between normal and disturbed.

In the true voice of an 8 yr. old, the story is compelling, fascinating, and disturbing, from the opening sentence to the last period. It is hilariously funny at times and horribly tragic at others. It is not light-hearted, but ultimately, it is uplifting. I could not recommend it more. (It is provocative, however, so be warned.)

Hailed as 'one of the most charming voices since Holden Caulfield', Burton Rembrand is the eight year old hero of this unusual and occasionally bewildering narrative of love, loyalty and the injustice inherent in not being understood by the adult world.
Burton tries to express his feelings for another girl his age and is thrown into an institution for disturbed children for his troubles. His deadpan perspective and impeccable language -he is, after all, the spelling champion of his grade- carry the novel though the flashbacks gradually constructing the events which led to him being locked up. He is no madder than you or I, merely puzzled and frequently driven to tantrums by his situation and its restrictions; he makes sense of it all by writing his story on the walls of the 'quiet room', his sanctuary from patronising adults with only his best interests in mind.

This engaging and deceptively simply story centers on Burt, an 8-year old who's placed in a mental hospital after expressing his burgeoning sexuality with a girl his own age. It's the story of a boy with exceptional intelligence and creativity who cannot relate to kids his own age nor to adults set on treating him as a little kid. Throughout the story, Burt is simply searching for someone to listen to him. Buten's style and insights into children's psychology are fascinating and are sure to affect every reader.

"When I was Five I Killed Myself" is a breathaking book, particularly due to its simplicity. This book, told in the first person by an eight-year-old character named Burt, rings with truth. You will recognize feelings you had, things you saw, all the trauma and oddity of your childhood life.

But what's most striking about the book is its ambiguity. Critics on the book's back cover and inset, not to mention other readers, see this as a story of a "disturbed" little boy. Though he clearly has some intense emotional outbursts, and has an imagination that is the stuff of envy, not to mention a serious eye for detail and verbal gifts, it's tough to find any evidence that he is, in fact, as his doctor told him, "a very sick little boy."

Which is the point of the whole book, and what makes it so unnerving: Committed to a house for the emotionally ill and handicapped, surrounded by autists and people with far more glaring problems, you're left asking yourself why. Though his frequent outbursts - or "conniption fits" as he calls them - are intense, so are the qualities he has that we find so precious in children: his honesty, morality, and heart. It would seem that he is there for the adult world's misunderstanding. Rather than suffering an illness, he is made to suffer a prison sentence away from the very people he should be nearest: his loving family.

It's a quick read and a marvel of virtuosity, and it's completely convincing and heart-rending. A very good read.

It may have a title I don't like to utter, but don't let that stop you. This book had me from page one. Burt is an extremely well thought-out character much like Paddy Clarke and Buten's language is poetic yet completely fits the Burt's vocabulary. Thank goodness this book was reprinted for those of us who missed it the next time around.

...of a disturbed yet literal-minded intelligent child and how he sees the world. dark disturbing undertones throughout, in reference to his days in the quiet room... the adult world that is so out of touch with him. can't communicate and respect him.

reminded me of girl interrupted, and while she was older, it has the same treatment of extra-ordinary individuals as so-called disturbed people who `need' phsychiatric help. heart-breaking, but with such wry sardonic humour, we forgive howard his painful authenticity because he brilliantly creates this child's voice for all to learn from.