When We're In Public, Pretend You Don't Know Me: Surviving Your Daughter's Adolescence so You Don't Look like an Idiot and She Still Talks to You (Paperback)

~ (Author) "It all starts when we read our baby daughters the childhood classic, The Runaway Bunny..." (more)
Key Phrases: artificial consequences, best bud, Uncool Mom, Clueless Mom, Jerry Springer (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"...a smart, funny, practical guide to peaceful coexistence between mothers and daughters that imparts wit and real wisdom." -- Susan Orlean, author of The Orchid Thief

Product Description

For every woman struggling to raise a teenage daughter comes a hilarious yet practical guide to help mothers survive these trying years. "The two worst times in a woman's life is when she is 13 and when her daughter is 13," or so goes a popular maxim in psychology circles. During these adolescent years, mothers are constantly struggling with how to handle their daughters--and themselves around their daughters. WHEN WE'RE IN PUBLIC... is a survival handbook that discusses such important issues as beauty and body image, public behavior (both hers and moms), privileges and punishment, and sex. Written by the mother of a teenage daughter and featuring expert advice from a noted child psychologist, the book also offers simple steps to avoid disaster (i.e. before you think of dressing like your daughter, remember one word: Cher) and practical wisdom culled from numerous interviews with mothers of teenage daughters.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing (April 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0446679518
• ISBN-13: 978-0446679510
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #618,343 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and helpful, December 3, 2003

By	Amazonbombshell (Milwaukie, OR, USA) - See all my reviews

Okay, I'm not a parent, let alone parent of a teenager...but I will be someday, and I'm interested, so I'm thinking about it and reading up. Here's what I'm thinking about this book:

I love it. It's wryly funny -- even occasionally hysterical -- and much of it rings true from watching my relatives bring up teenagers, being one not too long ago myself (though I didn't have some of the more extreme issues I notice in others), watching my own mom cope with me, and seeing the daily struggles between my peers and their moms when we were teens. There's a lot of "common sense" here, but don't let that statement fool you into thinking the book's useless; the best of us sometimes forget to exercise our "common" sense.

I particularly appreciate the ("common sense?") idea that moms should not fall into the trap of being "clueless" or the opposite trap of being your daughter's "cool" best friend. The best way to be both parent and friend is to be what Mrs. Borowitz calls "the uncool mom:" setting good boundaries, remaining in control, being yourself, picking your battles, and butting out when your daughter needs to manage on her own (which is more often than you think.) My own mother did a generally great job of this, and we are now what one might call "best friends" as adults -- still very much mother-daughter, but with mutual respect, friendship, and tolerance built out of (usually, and usually this was Mom's doing) handling our conflicts in a healthy way when I was a minor. This book is written by a mom who sounds a lot like mine...but even my mom could have learned something from her.

11 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars It's good, but..., July 15, 2003

By A Customer

Susan Borowitz offers practical wisdom and humorous tales regarding her and her own friends experiences with their adolescent girls. It's witty and very inciteful. I didn't agree with some of the advice from "parenting expert" Ava L. Siegler, in particular when she states "Forget teaching abstinence. It's wishful thinking and a waste of time!". I don't agree! It's never a waste of time to try to instill morals in your child's upbringing! The book does have value regarding how mothers should be (uncool) rather than "clueless" or "bestbuds" and offers good tips and strategies in dealing with adolence.

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Laughing all the way to adulthood, July 24, 2004

By	Kay Linden (NY) - See all my reviews

I am the mother of a 14 year-old girl. She's a great kid, but when she went away to camp for a month and people asked me if I missed her, I said, "NO."

I'm a pretty good mom; I used to teach teenagers, and I have some clue about what this age is about. Still, Borowitz's book had me laughing out loud, and while I was laughing, some new ideas slipped in. Life post-camp is looking a little brighter.