When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? [Hardcover]

George Carlin (Author)

Book Description

Release date: October 12, 2004

On the heels of George Carlin's #1 New York Times bestseller Napalm & Silly Putty comes When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops -- infused with Carlin's trademark irreverent humor and biting cultural observations.

Here we go again . . . George Carlin's hilarious When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops offers his cutting-edge opinions and observational humor on everything from evasive euphemistic language to politicians to the media to dead people. Nothing and no one is safe!

Despite the current climate of political correctness, Carlin is not afraid to take on controversial topics:

--Carlin on the media: The media comprises equal parts business, politics, advertising, public relations, and show business. Nice combination. Enough bull for Texas to open a chain of branch offices.
--Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
--Carlin on hygiene: When did they pass a law that says the people who make my sandwich have to be wearing gloves? I'm not comfortable with this. I don't want glove residue all over my food; it's not sanitary. Who knows where these gloves have been?
--Carlin on evasive language: Just to demonstrate how far using euphemisms in language has gone, some psychologists are now actually referring to ugly people as those with "severe appearance deficits." Hey, Doctor. How's that for "denial"
--Carlin on politics: No self-respecting politician would ever admit to working in the government. They prefer to think of themselves "serving the nation." To help visualize the service they provide the country, you may wish to picture the things that take place on a stud farm.

The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, Carlin puts voice to issues that capture the modern imagination. For instance, why are there Ten Commandments? Are UFOs real? What will the future really be like? This brand-new collection tackles all that and more.

In When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops Carlin's razor-sharp observations demolish everyday values and leave you laughing out loud -- delivering exactly what his countless fans have been waiting for.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself. With his gravelly voice, Carlin sounds like a foul-mouthed, grumpy grandfather as he riffs on everything from politics and the improper use of language to plane-boarding etiquette and the differences between the sexes. He's alternately crude ("Every evening at seven-thirty, citizens and consumers get a chance to sound off and air their complaints. Don't miss Blow It Out Your Ass!...") and outrageously funny (such as when he compares people of faith to UFO believers), and he's always irreverent ("A children's museum sounds like a good idea, but I would imagine it's not very easy to breathe inside the little glass cases"). The one topic that gets under his skin is euphemisms and, related to that, political correctness: "I can remember when I was young that poor people lived in slums. Not anymore. These days, the economically disadvantaged occupy substandard housing in the inner cities. It's so much nicer for them." Needless to say, Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits ("Hah? Whaddya think? Maybe?") and enhanced by his deft vocal variation (such as when he's narrating the "Continuing Story of Mary & Joseph"), making listeners will feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

From Booklist

The latest book by longtime stand-up comic Carlin will undoubtedly join his previous "acts" in book form on the best-seller lists, so expect demand. Here are more of his irreverent, hilarious takes on contemporary social and political issues; as anyone who is familiar with his routines and books knows, Carlin doesn't let current notions of what is politically correct stand in the way of his taking a jab. So this series of short observations, one flung at the reader right after another, encompasses the Ten Commandments ("a padded list"), an anti-plastic surgery stance ("Ugliness should be a permanent condition"), body maintenance ("Every time you clip [a toenail], the little clipped part flies several feet away. You notice that?"), and euphemistic language (the first instance was being instructed to call his aunt's mole a "beauty mark"). The book is not meant to be read straight through but, rather, dipped into here and there. The language is explicit; therefore, this is not recommended for readers advocating propriety in speech on every occasion. Brad Hooper
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion; 1st edition (October 12, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1401301347
• ISBN-13: 978-1401301347
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 1 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (250 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #450,168 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

597 of 658 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Get a life folks October 29, 2004

By B. DeSantis

Format:Hardcover

Why is it that all the people who gave this book only one star also seem to be reviewing lots of religious and Right Wing political books? George Carlin has been a well know comedian since the 60's. He has always spoke the way he does about religion. When you see his name as the author of a book with Jesus in the title, why do you buy it if religious humor will offend you? Ok, maybe you just want to see what he has to say, I can understand that. But you know you're not going to like it, and you know you'll disagree with it. Why bother printing a review? You're not basing the review on how good the book is, you're basing it on whether you agree with it's ideas or not. One guy even made the remark that we've taken the 10 Commandments out of courthouses, but we still allow this book to be sold. It's called free speech. It's part of the same document that give you the right to have your religion. The difference is, the comandments in a courthouse are on public display. This book is something you have to conciously use your own money to buy. Let me write a shorter review: If you're easily offended by religious humor, don't buy this book.

185 of 210 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A Little Off Target October 28, 2004

By JMack VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I believe some of the reviewers of this book might be expecting too much. "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" is not Carlin's best book, but a lot of the material is offensive to some people and funny to most of us. That's what Carlin does, he offends people. My biggest complaint is that he did not offend enough people. I felt that too much of the book was devoted to euphemisms. The fact is that these arguments presented by Carlin are more logical than funny. By most standards, this is not a problem, unless the book is supposed to be funny.

I enjoyed a lot of the book. I enjoyed the one liners in the sections titled, "Bits and Pieces". Nobody has a better eye for observing the stupid things people do. Whether regular people or famous people, Carlin points out the problem in a humorous way. Usually it is a shocking or offensive result. That is why people like George Carlin. If you like Carlin, you will probably like the book. It is not his best book, but it is still better than most comedian's books.

61 of 67 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Euphemistically speaking. . . . November 18, 2004

By halftail cat

Format:Hardcover

This is a book in which George Carlin manages to offend everyone who reads it, depending on their political preferences, how they feel about minorities, the handicapped, the homeless, the chronically ill, the elderly, etc, etc, etc. In other words, if you have an opinion about anything at all, he will manage to upset you at some point if you read this book.

Having said that, this is one of the best books I have ever read. Not only is his take on life hilarious, he is more often than not right-on in his views on life and the way people live it. I think his views actually reflect the way the majority of people think about things, it's just that he's the only one with enough guts (read: balls) to actually put his feelings in print.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants a good laugh - really, several hundred good laughs - and has a thick skin to go along with it. At some point pretty much every type of personality (even yours) is written about in this book.