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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Hardcover – October 12, 2004

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Hachette Books; 1st edition (October 12, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1401301347
  • ISBN-13: 978-1401301347
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (263 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #488,332 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. There's no better way to enjoy one of Carlin's books than to hear him read it himself. With his gravelly voice, Carlin sounds like a foul-mouthed, grumpy grandfather as he riffs on everything from politics and the improper use of language to plane-boarding etiquette and the differences between the sexes. He's alternately crude ("Every evening at seven-thirty, citizens and consumers get a chance to sound off and air their complaints. Don't miss Blow It Out Your Ass!...") and outrageously funny (such as when he compares people of faith to UFO believers), and he's always irreverent ("A children's museum sounds like a good idea, but I would imagine it's not very easy to breathe inside the little glass cases"). The one topic that gets under his skin is euphemisms and, related to that, political correctness: "I can remember when I was young that poor people lived in slums. Not anymore. These days, the economically disadvantaged occupy substandard housing in the inner cities. It's so much nicer for them." Needless to say, Carlin has his comic timing down pat. His energetic reading is punctuated by conversational bits ("Hah? Whaddya think? Maybe?") and enhanced by his deft vocal variation (such as when he's narrating the "Continuing Story of Mary & Joseph"), making listeners will feel as if they've got a front-row seat at one of his comedy shows.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

From Booklist

The latest book by longtime stand-up comic Carlin will undoubtedly join his previous "acts" in book form on the best-seller lists, so expect demand. Here are more of his irreverent, hilarious takes on contemporary social and political issues; as anyone who is familiar with his routines and books knows, Carlin doesn't let current notions of what is politically correct stand in the way of his taking a jab. So this series of short observations, one flung at the reader right after another, encompasses the Ten Commandments ("a padded list"), an anti-plastic surgery stance ("Ugliness should be a permanent condition"), body maintenance ("Every time you clip [a toenail], the little clipped part flies several feet away. You notice that?"), and euphemistic language (the first instance was being instructed to call his aunt's mole a "beauty mark"). The book is not meant to be read straight through but, rather, dipped into here and there. The language is explicit; therefore, this is not recommended for readers advocating propriety in speech on every occasion. Brad Hooper
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Customer Reviews

Having said that, this is one of the best books I have ever read.
halftail cat
Do you find Mr. Carlin's book humorless and offensive because YOU really don't like it, or did someone have to tell you that a true Christian should be offended by it?
Nico Santos
If you know George Carlin it makes the book that much more funny because you can hear how he would sound saying the words.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

617 of 680 people found the following review helpful By B. DeSantis on October 29, 2004
Format: Hardcover
Why is it that all the people who gave this book only one star also seem to be reviewing lots of religious and Right Wing political books? George Carlin has been a well know comedian since the 60's. He has always spoke the way he does about religion. When you see his name as the author of a book with Jesus in the title, why do you buy it if religious humor will offend you? Ok, maybe you just want to see what he has to say, I can understand that. But you know you're not going to like it, and you know you'll disagree with it. Why bother printing a review? You're not basing the review on how good the book is, you're basing it on whether you agree with it's ideas or not. One guy even made the remark that we've taken the 10 Commandments out of courthouses, but we still allow this book to be sold. It's called free speech. It's part of the same document that give you the right to have your religion. The difference is, the comandments in a courthouse are on public display. This book is something you have to conciously use your own money to buy. Let me write a shorter review: If you're easily offended by religious humor, don't buy this book.
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190 of 215 people found the following review helpful By JMack VINE VOICE on October 28, 2004
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I believe some of the reviewers of this book might be expecting too much. "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" is not Carlin's best book, but a lot of the material is offensive to some people and funny to most of us. That's what Carlin does, he offends people. My biggest complaint is that he did not offend enough people. I felt that too much of the book was devoted to euphemisms. The fact is that these arguments presented by Carlin are more logical than funny. By most standards, this is not a problem, unless the book is supposed to be funny.

I enjoyed a lot of the book. I enjoyed the one liners in the sections titled, "Bits and Pieces". Nobody has a better eye for observing the stupid things people do. Whether regular people or famous people, Carlin points out the problem in a humorous way. Usually it is a shocking or offensive result. That is why people like George Carlin. If you like Carlin, you will probably like the book. It is not his best book, but it is still better than most comedian's books.
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63 of 69 people found the following review helpful By halftail cat on November 18, 2004
Format: Hardcover
This is a book in which George Carlin manages to offend everyone who reads it, depending on their political preferences, how they feel about minorities, the handicapped, the homeless, the chronically ill, the elderly, etc, etc, etc. In other words, if you have an opinion about anything at all, he will manage to upset you at some point if you read this book.

Having said that, this is one of the best books I have ever read. Not only is his take on life hilarious, he is more often than not right-on in his views on life and the way people live it. I think his views actually reflect the way the majority of people think about things, it's just that he's the only one with enough guts (read: balls) to actually put his feelings in print.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants a good laugh - really, several hundred good laughs - and has a thick skin to go along with it. At some point pretty much every type of personality (even yours) is written about in this book.
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24 of 25 people found the following review helpful By M. H. Huggins on November 24, 2004
Format: Hardcover
You know, ever since I got my copy of "TOLEDO WINDOW BOX" in 1974, I have been a fan of this guy. Hey, I love Jesus, and I believe he knows a good joke, and loves it! This book ain't about that. It's about Carlin and his "Stuff". I feel like a long march survivor sometimes when I sit and think about how things have been herded (no misspell,I don't mean "headed")for the last forty years. I know I can count on George to make it all sound so silly that I can belly laugh at the unbelievable hubris of culture in chaos. I saw a Carlin show about twenty-five years ago. I would have given this presentation a five If the special effects came with it. Thats part of the show my friends. Lucky for Mr. Carlin he has a literate fan-base so we can also appreciate the written word. I liked this book. I'll pay it the highest compliment a comic can get. It made me laugh;it made me think.
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38 of 43 people found the following review helpful By D. Mikels on February 14, 2005
Format: Hardcover
The reaction to this book on the part of many reviewers only proves George Carlin's point: That we as a society have become too sensitive, intolerant, and politically correct. Yes, much of this book is stinging, biting--even morbid--but Carlin's wit and wonderful writing ability thoroughly entertain through the pages of WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS?

Here we have Carlin at his absolute curmudgeonly, disrespectful best. Nothing--and I mean nothing--is sacred in this book, as Carlin launches attacks, observations, and rants over everything from the government, to religion, to politics and politicians, to entertainment, to our diet, our lifestyles, our collective insecurity as a culture--you name it. And most of it is funny, some of it distasteful. . .and then some of it so off-the-wall I was wondering if the author had lapsed into another state of consciousness (and not from this world).

By far my most enjoyable portions of the book had to do with Carlin's discussion of all the endless euphemisms invented to take the bluntness out of life and make us all feel better about ourselves. For instance, we no longer have "poor people," we have the "economically disadvantaged." How nice. A nursing home is now an "assisted living center." Even funeral homes have become "death-care centers." Over and over, Carlin points out the countless euphemisms we have adopted to sanitize and plunder our language--and it's funny and sad at the same time.

But relax, my friends. This is all satire. Carlin doesn't mean this stuff. Or does he?
--D. Mikels
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