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When a Woman You Love Was Abused: A Husband's Guide to Helping Her Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation Paperback – July 23, 2012


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When a Woman You Love Was Abused: A Husband's Guide to Helping Her Overcome Childhood Sexual Molestation + Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child + The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse, 3rd Edition
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Dawn Scott Jones is a survivor who has been sharing her testimony for more than twenty years. Her past challenges have deepened and enriched her ministry, enabling her to truly understand and relate to what others are going through. Dawn is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God and has served in a variety of leadership and ministry roles. A national speaker, consultant, and the creator of numerous audio teaching products, Dawn lives in Michigan.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Kregel Publications (July 23, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0825429757
  • ISBN-13: 978-0825429750
  • Product Dimensions: 0.2 x 5.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #21,638 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

International Author, Speaker, and Pastor, Dawn Scott Jones was born in Holland, Michigan to advertising and marketing entrepreneurs, Jim and Cleo Scott, grew up in Grand Rapids, MI, and began her ministry and writing career after finding freedom and healing from the childhood trauma of sexual abuse. Dawn's first book, "When A Woman You Love Was Abused: A Husband's Guide to helping her overcome childhood sexual molestation," won the Reader's Favorite Gold Medal Award in 2013. Dawn is a favorite keynote speaker at Women's Conferences, bringing in-depth teaching along with heartfelt honesty, laced with side-splitting laughter. Dawn Scott Jones resides in Rockford, MI with the love of her life, husband Paul.

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By L. Wagner on October 4, 2012
Format: Paperback
Dawn Scott Jones, in her book, When a Woman You Love Was Abused, has written a superb, comprehensive guide for husbands to help their wives overcome the after effects of childhood sexual abuse/molestation in their marriage. It's deep, it's personal, and it's in-depth.

Dawn has written her book in three parts:

Understanding the Survivor-uniqueness; stolen innocence; circumstances of the abuse; dealing with the emotions; replacing the lies; image of God; and sexual intimacy
Understanding the Healing Process-healing stages; denial; deciding to heal; remembering and surviving crisis; talking; grieving; anger; forgiving
How You (The Husband) Can Help-fostering a healing environment; understanding her needs; building trust; praying for her; support for the husband; questions; finding peace

All three sections describe in intricate detail the issues as they may unfold-delineating the common symptoms women display and how the husband can understand, address and deal with them; be empathetic and validating; and get support for himself. Though the issue of counseling isn't directly dealt with, I feel it's a given from reading the book. What makes the information so pertinent and realistic is the fact that the author has gone through abuse herself.

Though the book is written with husbands in mind, I found the book helpful for the abused woman as well, helping her understand her behaviors and some of the necessary steps she will need to go through. Both parties may be bewildered by the circumstances that unfold as she starts remembering the abuse. I would venture that this information could possibly help her work through the issues more quickly or at least be aware of what is transpiring.
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I ordered this book for myself and even though I worked through my abuse with my husband's help a few years ago I found it to be one of the best books I've ever read on the subject. I will recommend it highly whenever I see a need in someone's life because this type of help is not readily available. I connected with almost everything she said. I have found it very helpful even though it's been several years since I was capable of opening up this dark chapter of my life to shine God's light of truth and grace upon such wickedness done to me as a child. If you even know of someone who has been through sexual abuse, it's well worth your money to keep her book on hand to loan out, and what a huge help it would have been for me to have had a friend willing to read up on this dark subject in order to help me heal and truly be understood. Thank you Dawn
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Richard and Liz on January 30, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Written to the husband of a survivor, this book can help a husband help his wife. First of all it is important to know how a woman who has been abused feels and what a husband may be doing to make things worse. "Sexual abuse is one of the most devastating traumas a person can experience." The author herself was abused by her father. Please note that although it is acknowledged that boys are also abused, this book concentrates mainly on girls/women. PLUS although this book is written to the husband it may well help the abused to heal and/or let those that have not been abused understand what their friend/neighbor has been through.

There are many types of sexual abuse but three main groups. What are they? Did you know that 25% of abusers are women?! Mother/son and/or mother/daughter incest "does exist and is the most devastating of all sexual encounters and difficult to recover from." What is "grooming" in the world of sexual abuse?

"Learning to feel is the beginning of healing." After pushing emotions away for so long it is scary to let yourself feel again. "Anger is the most challenging survivor emotion." A survivor has to learn how to process and channel that anger. Some of the notes on the top of the chapters are from men whose wives have been abused.

What is a trigger? What are some of those triggers? What about flashbacks? Learn about the common lies that survivors believe. How do they see God? Is it possible to have a healthy sex life between husband and wife? Yes but it may need to be cultivated and the husband needs to be aware of how his actions towards sex may be triggering bad memories in his wife. Communicate well. Tell each other what is enjoyable, what is not.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Thomas W. Smith on December 23, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
There are some really good thoughts in the book, especially in the area of understanding what the partner, in this case the man, is going through himself. It is easy reading and for an initial look for someone who is involved in this type of situation, or who knows someone who is, it is a good start. But my problem is that, by the end of the book the author's views seem to be that, no matter how hard it gets, the man should never divorce the woman. It doesn't say that, but there is the late tale of her divorce and the overlaying opinion that, even though she loves her ex-husband, that he was a failed partner for going. Just my view as I (a male and collateral "victim" of my woman partner's abuse, who after ten years of caregiving on my part, she chose to leave behind) reacted to reading it to the end. But there are some very good descriptions of situations that could forewarn and forearm someone new to these problems.
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