Customer Reviews

When You Lie About Your Age, the Terrorists Win: Reflections on Looking in the Mirror

5 star:		(53)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(6)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

There are people who think Nora Ephron is funny. I am not among them, but taste is subjective --- my idea of a thigh slapper may be your idea of a bummer. Doesn't matter. What counts is only that we laugh.

Carol Leifer, I contend, is really funny. Funny in a way that Ms. Ephron isn't, for Ephron is an insider and an elitist, whereas Leifer has the common touch. That is, she comes from Long Island, her father was an optometrist, she grew up drinking frozen orange juice ("a quarter of the price and it's the same thing," her father insisted). She became the comic that her dad always wanted to be. Wrote for "Seinfeld", where she was known as "the real Elaine" (the character played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus). David Letterman adores her. (Odd fact: She bought, at auction, the handwritten notes that Michael Vick used in court when he apologized for his role in dogfighting.)

Carol Leifer, in a word, is funny like someone you know would be funny. Smart funny. Clever funny. But even more, funny in the heart --- funny like a really nice person is funny.

You see this right off, in a memorial piece about her father, who died, at age 86, watching "Sixty Minutes". On his birthday, she tells us in the first paragraph, she used to give him Godiva chocolate-covered nuts. "Big emphasis on the nuts," she explains. "Because, as he was not shy of saying as he unwrapped the cellophane to grab the first piece, `Creams? They're a waste of time.'" And with that, I felt: I know this man.

The nominal subject of her book is aging --- she was 50 when she wrote most of these pieces, and her father's death is no small event. She carries out her obligation to her nominal subject and, for example, does a good job of listing "40 Things I Know at 50". Like: "When a waiter asks you to taste the wine and you're clueless, sip it and then say, "Yeah, that should get me hammered.'" And: "Never buy Sweet `N Low, Equal or Splenda at the supermarket. That's what restaurants are for."

But the centerpiece of the book is something else --- a mid-life crisis with an unexpected twist. The piece is called "Surprise!" and it starts like this:

"If I don't sleep with a woman soon, I think I'll kill myself."
That's what I remember saying to my buddy Ed on the golf course right before this all happened.
I was eager. I was pumped. "I'm ready for my lesbian fling, Mr. DeMille!" Turning 40 does that to you. You feel like Father Time has gotten a second wind and is catching up. Suddenly everything you wanted to try or experiment with has to be done in this short period called "midlife" --- before you reach that next stage in life, the one where you don't care if you go to the supermarket in your pajamas.
"I want to learn how to operate a potter's wheel!"
"I want to enroll in salsa boot camp!"
"Me? I just want to get it on with a lady?"
Forget that I'd already been married and had only dated men my entire life. It didn't matter, because when you feel that Sapphic siren call, there is no backing down. And before I knew it, as if in a dream, this vision appeared right before my very eyes. It was a Saturday night and I was at a Project Angel Food charity dinner with some gay male friends. There she sat, right across from my $200 plate.

They talk. Carol likes Lori. But Lori is in a relationship. Later, she isn't. They have a golf date. And they talk:

"So what's your story, Carol? Why aren't you in a relationship?"
"I don't know. I'm going through some stuff right now."
"Oh, really? Well, we can turn that around in no time flat."
Gulp! "How's that?" I stuttered.
"Well, there are a million guys at my office I could set you up with, no problem!"

Ah, love. Or crush. Or whatever --- the road's not smooth. But it's funny. And, trust me on this, you want to travel that road with Carol Leifer. I'll go further: This one piece is worth the price of admission. Not just because it makes you laugh. Because of the good heart.

Later in the book, describing her sadness at selling the home of her dead parents, Leifer writes: "The other thing I've learned about life --- you get over it. You do. And not because you want to but because you have to. You just have to."

Wisdom like that, in a so-called humor book? Right there, I fell in love with her. I bet you will too.

I bought this book after reading the title, and I couldn't stop laughing.

I'm 24, and even though the book is about getting older, I find Carol Leifer's observations to be timeless and useful to people of all ages. It sums up a common experience many women are going through, but it also offers a heads up for those of us who aren't there yet. Ms. Leifer is doing younger generations a favor by letting us know what to expect. The book is also a guidebook for guys who want to understand women better.

Ms. Leifer addresses several topics in the book including relationships, parenthood, pets, aging, and the loss of a parent. She is both honest and comical in her observations and she reminds us that there is no point in being anyone other than who we are.

I have always been a huge fan of Carol Leifer's stand-up and tv writing so I am not surprised I LOVED this book. And let me just say, I don't usually like funny books, because sadly, they're often not funny. When You Lie About Your Age.... is brilliant. I only wish I had more stars to tack on.

WHEN YOU LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE, THE TERRORISTS WIN by Carol Leifer is not a book that I would normally read; but when I read all the praise surrounding this book, I thought I'd give it a try. Ellen Degeneres, Jerry Seinfeld, Garry Shandling, Chris Rock, Larry David, and Bill Maher all have blurbs on the back cover of this book. At the very least, I figured this book would have to be somewhat funny, right?

I have to admit that I didn't absolutely love this book -- it was just alright for me. The book was made up of more than 25 short essays on a variety of topics including plastic surgery, finding love, becoming a mother, and adopting pets. I was expecting to find a lot of humor in these essays (you know more like entertaining insights into regular life), but I found this book to mainly be Ms. Leifer's opinions (and strong ones at that) about her life.

Prior to this novel, I wasn't that familiar with Ms. Leifer as a stand-up comic or as a television show writer; and I'm thinking that might have been one of the reasons I didn't appreciate this book as much as some readers will. Of course, I am a fan of some of the shows she has worked on including Seinfeld and Saturday Night Live (and I won't swear that I haven't seen her do a little stand-up on some show), but I think not really "knowing" her might have made a difference in my ability to really care about her opinions.

I don't want to make it sound like I didn't find anything of value in this book because that's definitely not true. There were some really funny things in this book. And even though I have almost nothing in common with Ms. Leifer, I did find myself agreeing with her on some issues. We might not have arrived at these opinions the same way, so I found it interesting to learn the reasons why she has her beliefs. And even on those topics where we disagree, I still thought I could learn something by getting another point of view.

Probably the stories that I enjoyed the most were at the beginning of the book. I thought the sections where Ms. Leifer talked about her father were extremely touching because it was obvious she loved him deeply. She also managed to tell a few stories about him that were quite funny. Another section I enjoyed was when Ms. Leifer discussed aging and plastic surgery. I thought she made a lot of valid points for just accepting who we are and what we have!

I recommend WHEN YOU LIE ABOUT YOUR AGE, THE TERRORISTS WIN if you enjoy memoirs that also include some humor. In addition, I think readers who enjoy short essays about life would find this book to be entertaining.

I've been a big fan of Carol Leifer's ever since she first made her name as a standup comic. Having lived in New York City for over 30 years, I saw her many times at the Comic Strip and the Improv in the early days. Of course she made a bigger name for herself on TV, with several appearances on David Letterman as well as her own specials on Cable TV, and a very successful writing gig on the sitcom to end all sitcoms, "Seinfeld". But there is much more to her than punchlines. This wonderful book is part "How To" on aging gracefully, part coming-out story, and part memoir. It's all very engaging and REAL. Leifer truly seems like someone you'd like to hang out with on a Saturday afternoon. Her musings on coming out as a lesbian are surprisingly universal and will probably connect with anyone who's been "searching" for something missing in their life, even if they didn't know what it was they were missing. I found the stories about her late father particularly moving (as well as being truly funny) and enjoyed her very positive outlook on life. Face it, growing older is not easy, but it beats the alternative! If you have an open mind, an open heart and a sense of humor you will appreciate this breezy yet substantial book. Well done, Carol!

This is my first book review, Great Book, first time I was able to read a book and put it down and feel excited to pick it back up, You really feel like you get to know Carol L. after reading this book, one of those books that needed 2 more chapters.. Just loved it!!!!!

Great read. It is rare (and I mean REALLY rare)that my husband and I agree on a book. This one had us both laughing and reading out loud to each other. Leifer truly is a riot!

This is a funny book. It's also a wise book and a touching book. The nature of the book makes all these elements just as important. The laughs here are based on liking the author and experiencing the aging process of which she speaks -- the good things, like knowing better who you are and the stuff about being able to pull a muscle by reaching too hard for something.

Carol talks about high school reunions and how it's a little easier to like someone in your same age range, because of shared experiences. That's the exact reason why this book is such a good read. We're not quite the same generation, but I'm entering the point where she points out that I'll only ever be referred to as young again if I die. (If I recall correctly, she also mentioned that "maam" is never a flattering term. As a personal aside, and not specific to anything in the book, the first time some smug salesperson refers to me as a young lady in a condescending tone -- and we've all witnessed that, haven't we -- blood will be shed.)

Carol talks a lot about her dad, and losing him. I lost my mother earlier this year. Even if the particulars are different, the feeling of losing a parent is the same and I shed a few tears over those passages -- which might not be the best thing to mention in a review for a humor book.

When I read an interesting book from or about someone famous, I tend to visit YouTube and just see what's out there to help me hear their voice. I picked a clip from early in the author's stand-up career, and even then, many years ago, she was still talking about her father tenderly. It made the stories here all the more poignant to see firsthand that this man was her inspiration and to know how hard that loss must have hit her.

She also talks a lot about her love of animals, and rescuing dogs -- topics close to my heart, even though she came to her appreciation rather late.

All of this is to say this book is enjoyable, because it allowed me to spend time in the company of someone where that's not a chore. It feels like you're having lunch with the author and sharing laughs and stories.

During a real lunch, I would have to grill her more about not knowing she was a lesbian until after forty. How do you not?

I'm very glad I read this book. Recommended for women over forty and animal lovers in particular.

I only vaguely knew who Carole Leifer was before seeing her on the Bill Maher show. She was so funny and genuine that it made me sit up and take notice. Then I started hearing about her new book on all the talk shows. It sounded right up my alley. Relationships, getting older, parents and kids, what a gem of a book! Carol tells it like it is but with such poignancy and humor that I found myself crying and laughing at the same time. I could not put this book down. This is the kind of gal everyone wants for a girlfriend. She tells it straight and with a hilarious wit! Carole Leifer is my new BFF!

Carol Leifer has been an idol long before there were shoulder pads, yes! I'm 47! Being a patriotic/comic-type, I certainly wouldn't want to enable the terrorists, but I will say this book is hilarious. In fact, I own two copies!

From the first chapter to the last, I feel like I'm in Carol's living room hearing her tell the stories, that's how alive the writing is and honestly, I'm in awe. What I wouldn't give to have such an incredible career as a writer/comic.

For a comic, she's a genius as she waxes every day dialogue into comedic poetry. As a woman over 40, I'm LMAO as she describes the first dirty joke her father told...since my mother told the same one.

Its nostalgic, heartwarming, funny and above all honest.

What? you don't have a copy? what the hell are you waiting for?

Push 'ADD TO CART' Now!!!