Customer Reviews

When Your Child Drives You Crazy

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The title "When Your Child Drives You Crazy" is simply one of the chapters in the book, and by no means the basis for the entire book. I really wish this book had a different title!! I wonder if a lot of parents [like I originally did] skip right past this book because the title seems too negative, or they don't feel their child "drives them crazy" so they figure they wouldn't benefit from the book. LeShan's book is full of very practical, common sense, easy, "now why didn't I think of that?" parenting tips.
She offers insight into why kids behave the way they do, how children see the world, and how parents and the adults who interact with children view typical childhood behavior. She is also very informative (and therefore reassuring) about childhood milestones. Some are very funny such as, for example, let's say there's parents who want to teach their four year old to tie his shoes. Ok, go ahead. The parents teaches them, the four year old will learn - and then the parents will have to reteach their four year old how to tie their shoes practically every day. Parents get annoyed, the child gets upset, there is all this drama over tying shoes. Or, LeShan says, the parents could just wait until their child turns five and is developmentally ready to learn AND remember how to tie their shoes. Parents can casually say to their five year old "Let's have you learn how to tie your shoes", teach their five year old in one day and the child will learn with little need for repeated instruction. Now, isn't everyone a lot happier and less stressed?

Another issue LeShan addresses is how sometimes adults discount children's fears and emotions, mostly in an effort to make a situation easier for everyone. Example - a child is at the Dr's office and gets a shot, which makes them cry. LeShan said she would always raise eyebrows when she'd comfort the child by saying yes, that did hurt, didn't it? Sometimes shots hurt for a little bit and they're scary. It's too bad when things hurt like that, it's not fun, is it? Whereas other [well-meaning] adults generally handle the situation by saying "Oh, now that didn't hurt! Don't cry!". Actually, taking an honest approach in how children view their world is the same approach Mister Rogers used during his long running very successful children's TV show. Other shows might sing song about how going to the dentist if fun, whereas Mr. Rogers' approach would be to say sometimes going to the dentist can be a little scary. Let's talk about going to the dentist so we're not afraid. Etc. etc..

Since one of the chapters is used for the book's title, I'll save some suspense and give a quick background of that chapter. The chapter addresses things that kids do that drive one, or both, of their parents crazy. A child needs a night light, or can't stand peas, or has a hard time sitting still in church. LeShan points out that more often than not the behavior that drives parents the most crazy is the identical behavior the parents had as a child. If a parent didn't like being scared of the dark as a child, it bugs them to no end that their own child also needs a night light.

Parents who enjoy a no nonsense, common sense, practical and easy approach to parenting will like this book. I can't stress enough how misplaced I think the book's title is, as LeShan addresses a lot more within this book than the cover indicates.

When I was raising my child, I would return to this book again and again for reassurance. There are times when parenthood is overwhelming, and a child's behavior gets to you. When that happens reach for the calming reassurance of this classic. Bottom line message: this too shall pass; it's only a phase. For parents who do not have wise seasoned parents to talk to, this book is especially helpful.