When Your Pet Dies: How to Cope With Your Feelings [Hardcover]

Jamie Quackenbush (Author), Denise Graveline (Author)

Product Details

• Hardcover: 222 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster (October 1985)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0671541579
• ISBN-13: 978-0671541576
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.7 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,610,643 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars real grief is ok, July 14, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: When Your Pet Dies: How to Cope With Your Feelings (Hardcover)

I'm surprised no one else has reviewed this wonderful book. I happened to run across it at my local library.Two weeks after euthanising my Cat of seventeen years,I practically fell apart in the bookstore browsing the pet section .I knew i had to look at my feelings of grief. This book was such a compassionate friend to me during that time.He quoted alot of others' experiences with their losses and the pain they felt. This helped me so much to truly feel my loss,especially since I had put him to sleep.the guilt over that can really wreak havocwith you.There is a section specifically about that ,too.His chapters cover all the ways you can lose a pet,which was welcoming.What I loved most about it was his understanding that your grief is as real as losing a person,just as deep and your love,just as strong.As soon as I opened the book,I didn't feel foolish any more,and let the tears flow.And consequently,I was able to move through my grief much quicker.It's a warm,compassionate book,and I was looking for it for a friend who just lost a pet too.I highly recommend it.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Incredibly Sensitive and Compassionate Work, December 18, 2006

By 

Hilary P. (Bear Creek, Pennsylvania) - See all my reviews

This review is from: When Your Pet Dies: How to Cope With Your Feelings (Hardcover)

I purchased this book along with several others after a complex (non-emergency) euthanasia decision I knew long in advance was a lose-lose situation. I knew euthanizing my precious elderly animal because of intense personal duress would almost be tantamount to suicide, and I waited until circumstances had broken me before proceeding with it. (So far, my dire prediction has proved true; the aftermath *is* as bad as anticipated.)

Mr. Quackenbush's book was the first to arrive. My grief is so deep I didn't think anything written by a stranger would do more than divert me. I had no expectation at all a book might help me by hitting nerves and letting the pain flow, a situation infinitely preferable than the numbness and despair I lapsed into. But the book accomplished this in two ways: 1) The author wisely, humbly, and frequently makes disclaimers about "complex" or "unusual" reasons certain people are forced to choose euthanasia. Quackenbush is or was affiliated with the Veterinary Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, and, while his book is a succession of anecdotes, he shows exquisite sensitivity in selecting particular stories of pet loss. Many if not most of these stories note how stressors IN ADDITION TO the looming prospect of euthanasia play a part in the horrible time for the pet owner. Finally, he assures the reader that euthanasia will most likely be the ugliest decision any human being will have to make--which in itself is tremendous and tender comfort.

2) He makes the reader feel, throughout, as if he is on *your* side. In other words, his book is about as apolitical and compassionate as a book on such a subject can be. Although I do not recall if he uses these exact words, he let's you know that *you're* an animal too, deserving of the same kind of compassion and unconditional love he is certain you showed your beloved companion animal.

This is a magnificent book. I am less than two weeks into the ugliest time of my life, a time that puts me in mind of Emily Dickinson's great poem, "After Great Pain." To paraphrase Dickinson, if I "outlive" this pain in addition to "remembering" it, I will owe more than a little thanks to this author for making me feel as if I was part of a sad, sad society, instead of the loneliest soul on the face of the earth...who CHOSE to separate from the one little being who meant more to me than life presently means.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very good book, August 20, 2004

By 

Oscar and Penelope - See all my reviews

This review is from: When Your Pet Dies: How to Cope With Your Feelings (Hardcover)

I've read three pet loss books for adults (two when my dog was dying, and one a few months after her death), and I think this is the best one of the three. The author pretty much hit it on the spot about all my feelings associated with the loss of my dog. The book made me feel that I'm not alone in the loss of my doggie "soul mate", that it's okay to feel this bad for a while when an animal companion dies. Yet he doesn't make generalizations, like some books do. He said certain things work for most people, BUT there are exceptions. Although at the end I feel that I'm just like most people, but at least the book gave me "permission" to think of other options.