Customer Reviews

When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing

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As an animal lover myself, as a certified hospice bereavement counselor, and as another author who's written about pet loss and specialized in pet loss counseling since 1992, I loved this book. Like all the rest of Alan's books, this one is clearly stated, clinically accurate and beautifully written -- and it comes from the heart of the author's own personal experience with pet loss. Because Alan Wolfelt is so very well known and respected in the field of death education and counseling, I believe his book about pet loss will do more than help bereaved animal lovers. I think it will lift the experience of pet loss into the mainstream of professional grief literature where it rightfully belongs, and that alone is a cause for celebration. For many years I have felt that uninformed and insensitive mental health professionals can do more damage to disenfranchised bereaved animal lovers than any member of the lay public can do, because they should know better -- and it is up to those of us who know the agony of pet loss to teach them. I want to thank Alan for writing this book, and I wish him every success in its sales and distribution. For my part, I've already listed it under the BOOKS ABOUT PET LOSS category on the Articles and Books page of my own Grief Healing Web site (http://www.griefhealing.com), I've recommended it to both pet loss support organizations with whom I consult, and I will continue to recommend it to my clients and participants in my pet loss support groups as well.

This book is part memory book and part written exercise book designed to help you put down in words all the things you want to say to your deceased pet. Your sadness, grief, fears, maybe guilt, your shared joys, deep love and never ending remembrance of them. Its sad, its painful to do sometimes but it really moves grief towards mourning, which as it points out, is an externalized emotion. And necessary for healing. I found it immensely useful.

This is a neat little book, very special. I think it would be very helpful for those facing the loss of a pet. As a veterinarian, dealing with owner grief is an important part of my practice. I'm happy to recommend this to all of my special clients who may experience the trauma associated with pet loss. Well done!

Shawn Messonnier DVM
author, 8 Weeks to a Healthy Dog, The Allergy Solution for Dogs, and the award-winning The Natural Health Bible for Dogs & Cats
(...)

I discovered this book when I lost my 2d dog to cancer. She was a rescue and had been with me only 2.5 years - cancer took her in 9 weeks. The grief was overwhelming, both the anticipatory grief as I watched her health failing and the actual grief when she was gone & my heart was broken without her. This book validated that grief and gave me permission to feel it without concern if others thought it was silly - it's a natural reaction to the wonderful, close connection I had with her and is a testimony to what a wonderful dog she was. This book helped me work through the grief process and get to the other side in a healthy way and I wish it had been available to me when my first dog died. I loaned my copy of this book to a friend when she went through this sad process with her beloved dog and she said it was a great help to her too. If you are hurting because your pet has died, get this book. It will help you grieve & help you heal.

Written by a grief counselor and director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition, this text is divided into three main topic sections: mourning, remembering, and healing. The author walks the reader through the process of grieving and mourning after a pet's death in simple terms. The intended purpose is to help the adult reader accept the death and grieving process. Personal stories of people who have lost a pet are interspersed throughout the book. Several pages in the mourning section are workbook pages for the reader to write expressions of love and grief for their pet. The text is not condescending, but rather supportive of the reader and therefore helpful to anyone having difficulty dealing with the death of a pet.

Nothing in this world could have prepared me for the unexpected death of my pet. One morning, I found my beloved Choly dead. I remained in a state of shock for many days. I perceived neither hunger nor sleepiness, neither a need for coffee nor a need for water.

My mother ordered the self-help book "When Your Pet Dies" for me. This book offered me invaluable insight into the grieving process. What I also liked about this book were the exercises it provided us with: it asked us to write about our first encounter with our pet, our most treasured moments with our pet, and other things we wanted to share. I spent many, many hours writing about my experiences. I also spent many hours reading and re-reading important paragraphs in the book that I had highlighted during my first read. Needless to say, I spent hours and hours shedding tears of grief.

What type of pain is worth acknowledging? This book will reassure you that the answer is entirely up to you. No one in your life is entitled to tell you that you cannot grieve your deceased pet or that you cannot allow yourself to celebrate and remember your pet's life. This book offered me tremendous comfort. I felt proud that I was allowed to privately, intimately, and painfully mourn Choly's sudden death.

Until this day, I still choke up when someone asks me how Choly and his littermate are doing. I hope he did not suffer during the hours preceding his death. I understand that every variation of pain is different for each individual. If you have difficulty connecting with someone who understands pet loss or if you simply feel the need to grieve privately (as was my case), I would recommend this book to you.

A brief but excellent overview of the stages of grief. If purchased along with Dr. Sife's book, you'll do well. This one offers suggestions on how to memorialize your pet in writing, which I found extremely helpful. Good for the person who wants to be "active" in mourning, rather than burying feelings and memories.

A friend gave this book to me after I watched my little dog get run over last week. This book helped me understand how normal it is to grieve a pet. So often other people don't understand and this book helped validate every emotion from shock and disbelief to the physical pain and heartache I have felt since my dog left me. There are actual stories submitted by others who have lost pets in this book, and those stories helped me realize I am not alone in my feelings. This was a precious gift and I will read it again and again.

This copy was our second and was given as a gift. Obviously, we thought enough of the book to give it to some one we cared about who had very recently lost their four legged best friend.

For anyone who has ever lost a beloved pet, this book offers hope and encouragement. When I recently lost my wonderful parrot, I felt no one really understood. After all, "it was just a bird." The bond between humans and animals cannot be understood by anyone who hasn't experienced it, and this book explains that our grief is not trivial or silly. I keep a copy of this book on hand to give to friends who, in the future, may lose their own companion animal.