When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll Be Me [Paperback]

Cynthia Heimel (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 24, 1996

In When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll Be Me, which critics say is her best yet, Heimel reveals her secrets - which turn out to be our own. She croons over sweatpants. She finds the secret cause of romantic obsession. She hates Rush Limbaugh. She finds the hilarity in feminism. She shops for a new city for us to live in, away from Bible-thumping homophobes but near some trees. She finds romantic tranquility and gets bored. And her love affair with dogs gets to the point where we may have to perform an intervention.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Playboy Magazine columnist Heimel isn't afraid to take on the big questions, like, how do I dump a man who won't call me? If he leaves me, can I come too? Answering these questions without Prozac requires a woman who is mean and smart; fortunately, Heimel is both. This feminist urban romantic guerrilla is afraid of nothing but the comfortable relationship, her mother's barbs and life without her dogs, who are always there to comfort her when she comes home from a first date with a man whose last words were, "I'll call." Funny, merciless and strong.

Product Details

• Paperback: 182 pages
• Publisher: Atlantic Monthly Press; 1st pbk. ed edition (May 24, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0871136341
• ISBN-13: 978-0871136343
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #884,542 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars So Amazingly Fantastic, September 11, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll Be Me (Paperback)

I am an essay addict. I go through books of essays like there's no tomorrow; reading this book of essays was no different. Cynthia Heimel is a genius. I related to every word she said-- anyone who has ever had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) or any friends at all can relate and understand what she writes. I recommend this book for men and women alike. The book is also written extremely well. Such good writing is hard to find even in the most serious of books. And one last thing: this book will make you laugh until you cry and cry because everything she says is so brutally true.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best collection of Humorous essays ever written., January 30, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll Be Me (Paperback)

After reading all of the published work of Cynthia Heimel, I must tell you that this book is her funniest yet. Her trilogy of various places to live while she was on a book tour is the crown jewel in this diamond-studded tiara of humor. Brava, Ms. Heimel!!!!!!!

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars You are not alone., February 6, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll Be Me (Paperback)

If you'd rather wear sweatpants than pantyhose, stay home with your dogs on New Year's Eve than find a date, then read this book. Now. Using her trademarked humor, wit and sarcasm, Heimel can help you find a new place to live or sniff out the perfect spouse without sucumbing to embarrassing fads like wearing Doc Marten's with flowered dresses.