Customer Reviews

When Your Phone Doesn't Ring, It'll Be Me

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I am an essay addict. I go through books of essays like there's no tomorrow; reading this book of essays was no different. Cynthia Heimel is a genius. I related to every word she said-- anyone who has ever had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) or any friends at all can relate and understand what she writes. I recommend this book for men and women alike. The book is also written extremely well. Such good writing is hard to find even in the most serious of books. And one last thing: this book will make you laugh until you cry and cry because everything she says is so brutally true.

After reading all of the published work of Cynthia Heimel, I must tell you that this book is her funniest yet. Her trilogy of various places to live while she was on a book tour is the crown jewel in this diamond-studded tiara of humor. Brava, Ms. Heimel!!!!!!!

If you'd rather wear sweatpants than pantyhose, stay home with your dogs on New Year's Eve than find a date, then read this book. Now.
Using her trademarked humor, wit and sarcasm, Heimel can help you find a new place to live or sniff out the perfect spouse without sucumbing to embarrassing fads like wearing Doc Marten's with flowered dresses.

When I first read one of her books I thought, "Lord, another woman has written my stories." I laughed and found myself following people around reading parts out loud.

Heimel had me at hello- I was hooked with the first sentence of the introduction.

So, I suggest skipping your next date and reading this book instead- you'll feel better about yourself when you're done, and you won't have to shave your legs beforehand.

Someone who adores her dogs as much as Heimel is all right in my book, which I'm inspired to write after being introduced to her unique brand of smarts-meets-smarty-pants prose.

As we folks from the '80s say: Cynthia Heimel, you rock!

I always wanted to get Cynthia Heimels cell phone number. Then I could call her up and say "Well, no one called, so I assumed it was you"

James Versluys

Cynthia Heimel is an elitist without the benefit of being clever or funny. Her essays are cliche, slightly misanthropic, and yet are completely lacking in wit. How such vapid literary drivel gets publication and accolades is beyond me.

If you are a conservative and not a feminist, this book is sure to irritate you. She whines and nags about herself and her life and it made me hope I never have or ever do sound like such a miserable wretch.