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Where Are the Customers' Yachts: or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street (Wiley Investment Classics) [Paperback]

Fred Schwed , Peter Arno , Jason Zweig
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (48 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 10, 2006 Wiley Investment Classics (Book 32)
"Once I picked it up I did not put it down until I finished. . . . What Schwed has done is capture fully-in deceptively clean language-the lunacy at the heart of the investment business."
-- From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker

". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."
-- Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
-- Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."
-- John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine

Humorous and entertaining, this book exposes the folly and hypocrisy of Wall Street. The title refers to a story about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts of the bankers and brokers. Naively, he asked where all the customers' yachts were? Of course, none of the customers could afford yachts, even though they dutifully followed the advice of their bankers and brokers. Full of wise contrarian advice and offering a true look at the world of investing, in which brokers get rich while their customers go broke, this book continues to open the eyes of investors to the reality of Wall Street.


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Where Are the Customers' Yachts: or A Good Hard Look at Wall Street (Wiley Investment Classics) + The Intelligent Investor: The Definitive Book on Value Investing. A Book of Practical Counsel (Revised Edition)
Price for both: $31.38

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"More than half a century on, Where Are the Customers’ Yachts? Remains a fascinating read" (Money Week, July 2006)

From the Back Cover

"Once I picked it up I did not put it down until I finished. . . . What Schwed has done is capture fully—in deceptively clean language—the lunacy at the heart of the investment business."
—From the Foreword by Michael Lewis, Bestselling author of Liar's Poker

". . . one of the funniest books ever written about Wall Street."
—Jane Bryant Quinn, The Washington Post

"How great to have a reissue of a hilarious classic that proves the more things change the more they stay the same. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."
—Michael Bloomberg

"It's amazing how well Schwed's book is holding up after fifty-five years. About the only thing that's changed on Wall Street is that computers have replaced pencils and graph paper. Otherwise, the basics are the same. The investor's need to believe somebody is matched by the financial advisor's need to make a nice living. If one of them has to be disappointed, it's bound to be the former."
—John Rothchild, Author, A Fool and His Money, Financial Columnist, Time magazine


Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (January 10, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0471770892
  • ISBN-13: 978-0471770893
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (48 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #59,166 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

It does not take long, and it is really really funny. Rob Shaw  |  11 reviewers made a similar statement
I wish I had read this book years ago before I started investing. C. OConnor  |  7 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
164 of 171 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This book clearly deserves more than five stars for exposing the folly of Wall Street in the most humorous possible terms.

This book's fame far exceeds the number of people who have read it. Almost every experienced stock investor will cite examples from the book, without even knowing their source.

The title refers to an ancient story (which the author finds is probably at least 100 years old by now) about a visitor to New York who admired the yachts that the bankers and brokers had in the harbor. Naively, he then asked where the customers' yachts were. Naturally, there were no customers' yachts.

Let me set the stage. The author spent two years on Wall Street in the 20s, but knew it better than that and continued to invest in stocks. He wrote the book in 1940 after the horrible bear years of 1929-1940. The memories of the 1920s were still fresh. Then he updated the book in 1955 in the midst of the 50s bull market with a new introduction in which he explained that the book did not need updating.

Although commissions are no longer fixed, and few spend the day sitting in a broker's office, many of the other observations in the book remain as timely as those in The Madness of Crowds. Human nature doesn't change.

Behind all of the hype about getting rich with stock investments is a sad reality. Over a lifetime, the vast majority of people get poor results from their stock investing. Around 90 percent of professionals will also underperform the market averages over their careers.

But the desire to "outsmart" everyone else is almost universal. Raging bull markets, like the one we had until March 2000 on the NASDAQ, only tend to reinforce these ultimately expensive urges.

I have been around professional investors for over thirty years and all the big scores I remember involving stocks came after someone who was a founder or worked for a company that went public cashed in their stock and stock options after many years of service. These are not stock-investing events, they are entrepreneurial compensation. In the Money Game, Adam Smith pointed that out, and it remains as true today as it was then.

One of the classic stories in this book is about what would happen if 4000 people started flipping coins against each other. You are eliminated from the competition after one loss. Although by definition, half would win and half with lose with each flip, those who had won ten times in a row (as must happen for some in this format) would soon start to give lessons in coin flipping techniques. That story nicely captures the folly of Wall Street. Even though some may win, it usually doesn't mean anything.

The book contains other investment classic stories that you must have in your repertoire. The book is brilliantly illustrated by the classy cartoons of Peter Arno. It is worth acquiring the book just for those.

The subjects covered include Wall Street's passion for prophecy, financiers and seers, customers (or the sheep to be shorn), mutual funds, short sellers, options, speculators and the bull market of the 20s, and the excuses handed out to those who are relieved of their money.

The writing style is urbane and witty. For example, there is the usual disclaimer on not following the advice in the book in the beginning. Except, it is illustrated by two hands with fingers crossed. And, the warnings are a just little different. The information in this book "while not guaranteed by us, has been obtained from sources which have not in the past proved particularly reliable."

The author had discovered that titles cannot be copyrighted, and he "had planned to have my book appear under a good title, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."

The author's favorite review of the book contained this phrase, "If I were J.P. Morgan, and I have no reason to suspect that I am not . . . .", and was signed by the author of the review, Mr. Frank Sullivan. The subsequent witty correspondence between them is included in the introduction.

If you are a fan of Louis Rukeyser, you will find the humor here comparable with the badinage on Wall $treet Week during the opening comments.

Seriously, the humor in this book will help you to better understand the risks associated with stock investing. There is a wonderful quiz you can take that will tell whether or not you should be a stock investor. Most will not pass that quiz.

If you still want to own stocks, I suggest that you advance to John Bogle's book, Common Sense About Mutual Funds. It can make you some real money.

If you do not want to own stocks, go instead to Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Follow on to Cash Flow Quadrant.

I also suggest you think about where else folly is taken seriously. This will also put things in perspective for you. My favorite location is the Congress of the United States.

Keep looking for those yachts when you make your investments! To whom do they belong?

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29 of 29 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
In the current gloomy environment -- with scandals and investigations ("shocked, shocked, I say, to hear...") at every turn -- this book is a LOL reminder of the constancy of human behavior in the face of temptation.

As the other reviewers note, Schwed worked as a broker in the early 1920's. He then wrote this book -- the "Liar's Poker" of its time -- in the 1940's, with the wry perspective that only a crash and ten years of stagnation can bring. Ancient history? Au contraire. What makes this book such a must-read is two things.

First, the things that firms and brokers do to separate customers from their money haven't really changed. Touting low quality underwritings, cramming unwanted inventory down customers' throats at inflated prices, using fancy phrases to flog dogs were as prevalent then as now.

But this is not a one-sided bashing of the Street and its techniques. Schwed gives equal time to customers' susceptability, even eagerness, to play their part in the game. Schwed's fundamental point is that people -- clients and brokers alike -- are forever led astray by their wanting to earn outsized returns without having to take any risk.

But the thing that really sets the book apart is Schwed's lucid yet highly entertaining style. You'll walk away with fresh insights into industry practices and market structures that you can apply to today's events. And even when you realize the target is you -- the ever-hopeful investor -- you'll be laughing so hard you won't mind.

If you even mildly liked Liar's Poker, you'll love "Yachts."

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23 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars As funny today as it was years ago! January 16, 2005
Format:Paperback
I read this book years ago before Amazon.com was even a glint in Jeffs eye, and happenstance put it back in my hands recently. It is every bit as hilarious today as it was back then. I came here as I was curious to see if it was still in print and if so, what people today were saying about it.

As not enough of the reviews reflected my experience I felt compelled to post my two cents so as to keep any prospective readers from being scared away.

Even if you've never had any personal experience with Wall Street, the Chicago Board of Trade or anything else in between, if you'd like a very, very funny read I recommend this book. If you *do* have investment experience you'll find it even funnier.

If you're going to be taking the Paoli local into town anytime soon, look for the copy Scott left on the bench on his way to Starbuck's. I promise you if read with a sense of humour you'll be howling with laughter before you get to Daylesford!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Stock market
Interesting but had a bit of trouble undertsanding some of the stock market terminology. Did some research and learned some of the tems the author was using.
Published 1 month ago by Bill Bantting
5.0 out of 5 stars a one-paragraph book summary
the whole summary is built into one joke on one page, but the joke and the page and the idea are worth the price of the book.
Published 3 months ago by Robert J. Askey
3.0 out of 5 stars Never Trust a Banker!
This books sums it up - Insider Trading remains the dark secret of Wall Street and has since day one.
Published 4 months ago by Peter Blake
5.0 out of 5 stars The best
This is simply the best book on Wall Street, finance and money ever - no contest. Written in 1940 and it's still all true today. This should be taught in high school. Love it.
Published 4 months ago by Alex
5.0 out of 5 stars the emperor pushing equities is naked - very naked
I read this book long ago.
It is a classic.
Cuts to the chase to show why buying stocks is worse than gambling. Read more
Published 11 months ago by whomper is back !!!!!
5.0 out of 5 stars Still funny after all these years
A lot of the stories form this book could never really happen these days. Could they? Well maybe now the brokers would have to fly to their islands instead of sailing. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Pete
4.0 out of 5 stars some great nuggets
The book has some amazing nuggets. It was written in late-1939 or 1940. The author doubts market predictions, investing advice, even the SEC. Read more
Published on November 12, 2010 by Brian G. Ruschel
3.0 out of 5 stars Humorous at times, though not very insightful
This book gets high praise from some, but I didn't find it nearly as funny as I thought I would. Sure, human folly is as great today as it was hundreds of years ago (much less 50... Read more
Published on November 9, 2010 by Glenn Corey
5.0 out of 5 stars witty, pithy and truthful
this book is enjoyable, and accessible for ALL readers. timeless truths and wisdom laid out in a way that is so fun to read for all investors, including the novice. Read more
Published on November 9, 2010 by Arlen
4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful satire
This is an insightful satire over our follies in the stock market. It is a fairly short book that is easy to read. Read more
Published on August 16, 2010 by Ratatosk
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