Customer Reviews

Where Or When

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(29)
3 star:		(27)
2 star:		(17)
1 star:		(30)

 

 

While this is certainly not the strongest of Anita Shreve's novels, it does offer some lovely writing and some tasteful, quite sexy, scenes involving its two heroes -- a middle aged man and woman whose affection for one another has been rekindled after 30 years apart.

Some reviewers have asserted that this novel lacks adequate character development. I have a contrarian point of view in that I think Shreve deliberately omits describing the internal moral struggles of her characters because they really don't experience much moral struggle. I see them as being caught up in the powerful flow of emotion, of a love that they believe was destined to occur, and suspect that what drives other reviewers' antipathy toward this novel is not lack of character development, but the characters' lack of self-recrimination.

In any case, I rather enjoyed this book and, as a big Shreve fan, fancy that I can see the budding of her considerable talents in this early example of her work. It is also a refreshing change to read about middle-aged characters who are coping with the effects of aging on their bodies, and the awkward feelings that arise when one engages in a romantic relationship at an age where physical beauty is on the wane. These are challenging issues for many people that are not often addressed in popular fiction.

So while I do not recommend this novel without reservation, I do recommend it to those who have enjoyed the more sophisticated Shreve books and are now down to reading her earlier works while awaiting a new book from her.

I am a big fan of Anita Shreve, but feel this is not among her best books. The story of the adulterous affair of Charles Callahan and his long lost childhood love, Sian Richards captured my attention, but not my heart. While one does believe that these two are deeply attracted to each other, there was not a deeply felt feeling of consuming love, which is what they are supposed to have. The tale of the childhood love rang far truer for me than the adult love. While we are given some idea of why Charles and Sian are attracted to one another, their respective spouses are not fully developed, and so there is very little understanding of why the two would sacrifice so much of their lives to an obsessive love affair. Ms. Shreve's writing manages to evoke sympathy for the lovers, and there is an overwhelming feeling of longing in the book, but the conclusion to the story is a jolt, and leaves one with an equally overwhelming feeling of sadness. If you want to read an outstanding Shreve book, start with The Weight of Water, or The Piolt's Wife, which in my opinion were far better books.

I read this book many many months ago and yet I still can't get it out of my mind. I loved the book so much while reading it ... actually a measure of how much I love a book is when I slow down in the reading of it ... you see, I don't want it to end.

So this small paperback became a book that took me weeks to read. I thought the characters were very well drawn w/the exception of their respective spouses ... I agree with the NY Times review in that they seemed at times to be parodies. And yet ... I was captivated by this book.

Sian and Charles were very vividly drawn ... and yes, I was hoping against hope for them. But as life usually turns out unfortunately ... things don't always work out as you'd like them to.

You may not like the ending of this book ... you may throw it away when you finish it and curse the time and emotions that you invested in it ... but I guarantee you ... you won't be able to get it out of your mind.

Charles and Sian met at a Catholic summer camp when they were teens and lost touch soon after (it wasn't explained why exactly). Years later they are middle aged and married with children: Charles has money problems and Sian husband's onion farm (you read correctly--onion farm)is not doing so hot either. Charles contacts Sian via letter and they strike up an affair (the place for these rendevouz is the old Catholic summer camp grounds that is now a bed and breakfast). Predictably the time comes to decide whether to leave their families to be together or part ways. During this whole charade, which I honestly tried to like, the plot is so thin and the characters fail to earn any empathy for their weekly love fests. The affair is never really justified. The characters seem so shallow and dispicable because they are ruining so many lives and their own relationship lacks chemistry. Sian seems way too intellectual to ever give Charles a second thought (she is a poet and he is an insurance salesman). I loved Anita Shreve's other novels but this novel is page after page of unearned sentimentality. Try reading her novel Sea Glass, it is much better.

Where or When aka Where or When Will This Ever End? A painful read made more painful by the ending.

While I found the initial correspondence between the doomed lovers engaging, what follows is a whirlwind lustfest that has little based on actual love and respect and more based on self-indulgence and obsession.

What I found most interesting was that the more Shreve let us into Charles' head, the more I disliked him. In a sane world, Sian would have been completely turned off by his desperate neediness. It's nice to be wanted but Shreve never convinces the reader that Sian is more than an object of lost and regained youth to Charles. Further, their love scenes were almost grotesque because I could not see Charles as having any motivation other than lust...not even a mature desire. The teenage encounter 31 years before has more sweetness and taste than anything that takes place between the older versions. If it weren't for the evidence of his three children, one would think he had never had sex before. Perhaps Shreve's message is that any sex without Sian didn't count, but c'mon. Our experiences are what makes us who we are and Charles wouldn't be the older Charles without the experiences of the younger Charles - other women and all.

While Shreve manages to paint the background of the characters' lives adequately, she fails to convince the reader that they are living in misery. Or that they had even given each other a second thought in the many intervening years. Or that they would have had the same "connection" if they had spent the last 31 years together. One suspects that they were both looking for a way out and would have taken anyone who came along. Even though Charles and Sian try to prove they were only meant for each other by repeating various versions of "this never happened before", these zombies', I mean characters', dissatisfied and unfulfilled lives can not be traced back to a one week affair between 14 year olds, no matter how much they want to believe it.

The ending is completely frustrating. Sinners punished! Lives ruined! Happiness averted! Shreve thought to make a weak story more powerful with a death (almost two!), yet she only manages to make her characters seem even more stupid and selfish. An abrupt end based on a theme that Shreve lamely attempts to weave through this story and reintroduce at the last minute.

This is not a book I would recommend to friend or enemy.

Sometimes a so-so Shreve is better than a 5 star novel from some other author. Exactly the case in 'Where or When". Charles skims the newspaper one day and sees the long lost love of his life is now a poet. He decides to take a chance and contact her, starting a friendship through letters that develops into a full blown affair.

A problem I had with the book - after 31 years, the reader is expected to believe the flame is still as strong now as it was at summer camp when they were teens. I believe these two had some sort of attraction going on, but I just wasn't convinced of the "long lost love" part.

Shreve readers will be delighted with the "twist" that is so common in all her novels. Its a decent read, though not her best.

The review from The Washington Post says, "...A heart-wrenching, suspenseful story with an unforgettable conclusion, Where or When is also a thoughtful contemporary romance."

I liked the writing, but hated the story, and most of all hated the main character, Charles. Charles is married, with 3 wonderful children whom he adores, and who adore him. Charles is on the brink of financial ruin, and unhappy with life, thus unhappy with his marriage, although the book never really explores the why's of the failing marriage.

Charles is reading the literary reviews one day, and happens upon the picture of a childhood girlfriend. He feels compeled to write to her, knowing he still has strong feelings for her. This is where I started to hate Charles. He knowingly sets out to find this woman with whom he shared his first feelings of love. He hid the picture from his wife, which to me means he knows he's doing something he shouldn't.

While corresponding with Sian, it seems more to me like Charles is stalking her, rather than writing her romantic letters. I can't believe that any woman, after so many years, would deliberately go along with this, esp. after she's told him she didn't want to meet with him. He ignores her, and continues to write to her, at one point driving 3 hours just to see where she lives. Seems a little desparate to me.

What bothered me most was that Charles was on the brink of financial ruin, but was buying Sian gifts, traveling for hours to meet with her, and staying at the inn with her. Who needs a man like that, what could possibly be attractive about a man who's broke, has 3 wonderful children, and a wife? Then, to top it off Charles not only tells his wife of the affair, and that he's leaving her, he also tells her their house is going into foreclosure....all on Christmas eve.

One other reviewer said that there was a note written in crayon by the 12 year old child. Well, first of all, the older child was a girl, and 2nd of all the note written in crayon, which was a heartbreaker for me, WAS written by the 5 year old son, not the 12 year old.

The end isn't heart-wrenching at all, I'm glad it happens that way, except for Sian's last minute of insanity. With a 3 year old daughter of her own, she has real world responsibilites, so get over it!

I did like this book, the way Anita Shreve writes is very compelling. I didn't like the subject matter or the main character, Charles.

It has been said that middle age brings turmoil and discontent with love. However, at what price is one, far into their 40's or 50's willing to pay for a chance at finding the flickering possiblility of a younger (teenage) love of long ago?

For most responsible persons, the price is far too high. In this novel, the price is not. Charles Calahan recognizes the picture of a girl he met at camp, and that is all it takes for him to toss aside wife, family with small children, home, business and township respect. Intrigued by the recollection, he begins to write the woman named Sian Richards, successfully seducing her into meeting him at a romantic hotel. The initial correspondences are met with trepidation, but between the two of them a line is crossed and they decide to meet, they flaunt, they flirt, they ....

A psychological peek at middle-aged angst, the novel scratches irritantly for those who play by the rules, those never willing to risk losing the people they love most. For Charles and Sian, the price is high. What they do not know is just how high it is going to get.

This book captures the mood of yearning for a lost love better than it depicts the realities of an adulterous affair. The loneliness of two adults who believe that if only they can go back to the point where thier lives separated at age 14 all will be well is the overwhelming theme. Charles & Sian can only connect in a limited way. They essentially try to erase the intervening years as if they did not matter. Anything that brings up the ugly reality of exisitng family responsibilities & neglected spouses is ignored by them. Especially disturbing is Charles' unwillingness to do something to protect his family from impending financial disaster. But it is meant to be disturbing.
The sense of longing for the one person who could see into your soul without you having to say a word is described in a lyrical style. The use of music to set the mood, especially the title song by Rodgers & Hart, is especially poignant.
This was a quick read for me. I have read "Resistance" & "the Pilot's Wife". I would rank "Resistance" higher, but I enjoyed "Where or When" very much. And for any who question the ending, how else do you end an affair built on memories?

I read this book quickly, so possibly I missed some of the logic that would lead two married 46 year olds to abandon evryone significant in their lives to be together. Their relationship didn't make sense to me - surely we all have a special girl- or boyfriend from our teen years. I simply cannot see myself overcome with lust in a public place upon first sighting of someone I thought I loved 31 years ago. I'd like to think we both required a longer period of reconnection. Also, how did both parties have so much unfettered time? Did Charles' financial worries disappear when he bought champagne, gifts, meals and a hotel room for them? Didn't his wife's reaction seem a bit odd? Mmmm. I think I am a consummate romantic, but I just can't buy it.