Under normal circumstances I am an extraordinarily poised and respectable person. I do not chew with my mouth open. I do not pick my nose in public. And if someone says "bless you" when I sneeze I offer the obligatory "thank you" in response. All that went out the window the minute I saw the cover for "Where Willy Went". I stared. Then I screwed up my eyes and tried as hard as I possibly could to make sense of the image. A pollywog in goggles? A flagellum in some kind of a race? My eyes trailed downwards to the byline, "The big story of a little sperm" and I let out a truly unladylike guffaw right there in the middle of the bookstore. Oh, that is rich, I thought. That is an example of a book that just does not care if ban-crazy parents like it or hate it. It's doing its own thing and devil take the hindmost. You have to respect its plucky can-do attitude. Whether you appreciate its writing is another story.
"Willy was a little sperm". If you can get past that sentence then you're doing well. Living contentedly in Mr. Browne, Willy was an excellent swimmer. Alongside every other sperm he longed to win The Great Swimming Race. He practiced constantly in the hope of beating the 300 million competitors. When the Race begins (off-screen and tastefully) Willy wins hands-down and burrows into the egg. The egg becomes a babe, the babe is born and named Edna (it's anyone's guess as to why), and, like Willy, Edna has no head for numbers, "but she was VERY good at swimming". One prays that kids will not then immediately believe that she too will be practicing for a similar Great Swimming Race anytime soon.
What it all boils down to is what you want out of your "how are babies born" picture books. The standard go-to guide that's been a consistent favorite for at least twenty years now is Joanna Cole's continually updated, "How You Were Born". That's the book that parents go to if they want photographs and clear-cut answers to explaining the beginning of life. Cole is the author who takes care to clear up common childhood misconceptions. Common childhood misconceptions are the name of the game when it comes to that other big-name baby book, "Mommy Laid An Egg", by Babette Cole. That book shoots younger than "How You Were Born" but forgoes the whole anatomically correct requirement. Like "Mommy Laid An Egg", "Where Willy Went" (NOT written by anyone with the last name Cole, thank goodness) also shoots for young young kids. The book was not written to explain the ins and outs (ho ho!) of sex. It does not dwell on correct terminology or scientific terms. It's a starter sex book. This is the book you hand the kid when they ask where babies come from but you're not completely comfortable outlining the mechanics of the act. My husband took one look at this book and described it as a new kind of "stork" book, and that pretty much hits the nail on the head. Obviously real sperm do not compete. They do not learn math or don eyewear. So this is a cartoonish glimpse into sex for the little children. Once they've grasped this much, they then would move onto "How You Were Born" a couple years later. Then, when they're tweens, you just hand them a copy of "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie H. Harris and pat yourself on the back for being such an upfront parent.
There are definite problems with "Where Willy Went", granted. For one thing, the anatomical maps of Mr. and Mrs. Browne are fraught with peril. Mr. Brown comes off better. In him we get a map of his body that shows the location of the sperm in the testes (no words like "testes" appear in the book, unfortunately) and the path they take to get out. Fair enough. Mrs. Browne, on the other hand, has a rather bizarre map. For a kid that didn't know any better, they'd probably be correct in assuming that women like Mrs. Brown also have penises. Though it is labeled "Tummy" in a hard-to-read script, Mrs. Brown's side view is so poorly drawn that kids could be forgiven for getting completely confused by the shot. On the next page there is a tastefully drawn picture of two lumps under bedsheets which, while no raunchier than a game of Sims, doesn't explain in the least how the couple "joined together" to begin The Great Swimming Race. It's a definite improvement over "Mommy Laid An Egg"'s bizarre kama sutra-like silly pictures, but absolutely uninformative.
But maybe you're into sex books for kids being vague on this act. Everyone has their preferences. What "Where Willy Went" lacks in directions it makes up for in sure gusto. This is a how-to book of sex that knows what it wants to say and says it. It wouldn't offend a flea and is probably one of the sillier sperm books on the market today. Obviously if facts are your primary concern, go get yourself the newest edition of "How You Were Born". If, on the other hand, you just want to give an overall summary of the baby-making process, this will probably be your best bet. A fun book that's lacking in some respects, but is hard to resist otherwise.
