Customer Reviews: Where's My F*cking Latte? (and Other Stories About Being an Assistant in Hollywood)
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on November 18, 2007
Nemcoff's "Where's My F*cking Latte" is a hilarious spin on the sensibility of young talent trying to make it in Hollywood. His wry, insider's view delivers observations laced with the same warmth I enjoyed in his other work (The Art of Surfacing, a different but equally rewarding read). I spent a hilarious Saturday afternoon at the nearest Starbuck's, passing around his book to patrons who wanted to know what I was reading when they heard me laughing out loud! I am giving copies of "Latte" to all of the smart young creative types on my holiday list!
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on December 27, 2007
This book is a hilarious (and terrifying) read for anyone who works in-- or wants to work in-- the entertainment industry. If there is a hell... these assistants have worked in it, and these stories will make your skin crawl!
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on June 8, 2007
I fell in love with Nemcoff's work when I started listening to "Number 1 with a bullet". So of course, I had to pick this book up. Not only because it is Nemcoff, but because I am a film student. Talk about eye opening! I have never laughed so hard before in my life- even with learning how weird Hollywood is. Nemcoff TOTALLY sheds light on the weirdest of the weird in this book with stories from a well known Celebrity getting drunk and beaten up in Mexico to the torrid toddler causing havoc in a office, and of course the director falling "in love" with one of his assiatants. The only downfall (if I could say there is one) is that, of course, the book does not name names...however it is fun to try guessing who the indivual stories refer too!

I've said before that I think Nemcoff is this generation's Frank Miller and this book proves it- that is if Miller was writing about Hollywood with no death.

Fan's of Brian Michael Bendis' book "Fortune and Glory" will totally get a kick out of this. Heck, ANYONE that is even thinking of working in this industry should pick this up. It should be required reading for all film students.

WARNING: do not drink/eat anything while reading this- you might choke because you are laughing to much (or dumbfounded/shocked by some of the stupidity displayed) that... and of course you wouldn't want to ruin your book.

Only question I got, is when are we going to see the sequal?


Tessana/Murdock's Girl
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on April 28, 2015
Pretty harsh headline, I know. But this book is seriously creepy. The title and description would lead a person to think this will be a light, comedic series of anecdotes. I thought the book would read like a funnier version of "Swimming with Sharks," if anything.

Instead, imagine only the scene from "Swimming with Sharks" in which the agent tearfully tells of the time his wife was gang-raped and murdered, and left beside a busy street in Los Angeles while the uncaring rolled past during yet another rush hour. That was the bleakest scene in the movie, aside from the ending.

This book is nothing but that scene, over and over again, with a bit of urban legend laced throughout and some crude porn thrown in in a lazy attempt to keep the reader turning the pages. I turned the pages looking for something like I had been expecting, and never found it.

Included in this book are these stories, and others like them: A man is orally raped at gunpoint. A dog licks an assistant's backside while the assistant passive aggressively enacts a petty revenge on their boss by having sex in the boss' bed. Two young women go for a weekend in Tijuana and are never heard from again; we are informed they were likely trafficked and will end up 'being cut into pieces alive and fed to dogs.' An assistant's grandparent dies and their boss' cat is eaten by a coyote. It just goes on and on and on like that.

I began to doubt the veracity of any of it by about the third story. The cruder details are played up and exaggerated; the writing style is the same throughout, really beggaring the notion that these stories are from many different Hollywood assistants; it seems the slimmest premise is expanded upon and exaggerated until it sounds like email spam or a bar tale only drunks could believe. For instance: The younger sister of a 'famous documentary director' is trafficked into sex slavery with her best friend and it was never in the news - ever? Come on.

On top of all of its other flaws, the book commits the sin worse than lying: It is dull. Boring. Spend your money if you must but you'd be better off just reading blind items online for free, or googling for bitter assistant stories. I have the feeling this is how this book began, as well.
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on January 7, 2012
There are voices, and then there are voices. You think you've heard all of the stories from the slimy underbelly of the entertainment capitol of the world. You haven't. Not even close. Mark Yoshimoto Nemcoff was uniquely positioned to provide some of the best anecdotes from the life of a Hollywood Assistant. What I love most about Nemcoff is his "writers voice", i.e. you know when you are reading a Nemcoff book. Sharp, punchy and tightly written "Where's My Fn Latte" is a must read pretty much for anyone West of the Rockies who is in the entertainment industry or knows someone who is. It should be issued as a handbook to any young production assistant as a training manual. As far as everyone East of the Rockies, you should read it too, just to thank your lucky stars that you have nothing to do with the craziness that is Hollywood. Highly, highly recommended.
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on March 13, 2013
Sometimes I want something to read that doesn't get too detailed. I don't want to have to think, I just want to be entertained. This is certainly the book for that exact purpose. First and foremost, it's actually a compilation of stories from different people so some of the stories seem more random than others. Second, I couldn't stop laughing my head off at the shenanigans these assistants get caught up in. To be honest, there were at least several of the stories that left me in disbelief and I questioned how valid those events truly were. Nonetheless, you will be at least partly entertained. I still pop open this book whenever I need some light reading to put a smile on my face.
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on October 20, 2012
A fascinating look at a relationship between assistants, who willingly join a life of servitude and sometimes abuse for a promise of fame and fortune, and their employers, who sit on top of the Hollywood food-chain. The stories are entertaining and range from rather disturbing to very touching.

I especially liked two stories, one where an assistant takes his boss's Porsche for a ride with rather hilarious consequences and another about a writer's assistant at a cable sitcom, patiently waiting for months to be given an opportunity to write a script for an episode but denied at the last moment.

No names are mentioned, so if you are looking for 'dirt' on somebody famous, you'd better stick with your usual gossip publications. But I still would recommend reading this little volume for it provides a unique inside perspective on Hollywood, a world in and of itself, where appearances are deceptive and promises are fleeting.
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on April 27, 2011
I enjoyed the stories of the various overbearing hollywood execs, revenge of some assistants, bloated egos, and even the occasional delightfully disgusting quirks of both assistant and employer.
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on November 8, 2012
This book is a set of stories collected from personal assistants working in Hollywood. No names are given, so we don't get the scoop on any one person, but I am sure that the stories in here could apply to a bunch of the people in the acting business. I think that this kind of story could almost be made about any business, but is more shocking when these are the people whose virtues are extolled in the news all the time. I think the episodes recited here just remind us that everyone has their dark side, so they are not that much different than us. I really enjoyed these stories, and the first one about the celebrity peeing in a bottle had me rolling on the floor.
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on May 2, 2012
...because those people are stupid. Seriously. I, like MYN, have spent a good amount of time working in the entertainment industry, and I could really relate to the stories in this book. It is informative and should me mandatory reading for every film student in college. It's also highly entertaining for those of us that have been through the grist mill that is the entertainment industry. Even if you haven't worked in it, you can appreciate the crap we have to deal with and maybe at least get a kick out of what people go through to bring you quality tv, films, and music. I highly recommend this book. Yes, it has no serious plot, but it isn't supposed to. That's the idea. Just like every book from MYN, this is definitely worth the read.
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