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While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront
 
 
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While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront [Hardcover]

Kristin Henderson (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)

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Book Description

February 2, 2006
Kristin Henderson is a journalist married to a military chaplain who has served in the Persian Gulf, Afghanistan, and Iraq. In While They're at War, she draws upon the trust she's earned from military families and her unique access to military staff to give us a "powerful, revealing, and sometimes painful . . . look behind the scenes" (Booklist) at the modern military's untold story.

We first meet Marissa Bootes and Beth Pratt, new Army wives undergoing intense indoctrination on Fort Bragg, North Carolina, while their husbands are fighting in Iraq. Their stories unfold to reveal often hidden aspects of life on the homefront. Through gripping storytelling, we see families battling the overwhelming effects of isolation and anticipatory grief, the strongly enforced codes concerning infidelity, their feelings of alienation both from military staff and from nonmilitary citizens, and the harrowing impact of e-mail/cellphone/CNN culture. Moving scenes bring to life the special struggles of children and those who teach and care for them, as well as the toll that combat exposure takes on families, especially if it erupts into homecoming violence. Finally, Henderson reveals the life-changing solidarity experienced in an informal support group like Fort Bragg's Hooah Wives.

While They're at War is an indelible portrait, too, of virtually invisible figures such as homefront fathers raising teenagers alone. We meet the chaplains, social workers, and psychiatrists dedicated to helping military families cope. And, through Henderson's brilliant reporting from Walter Reed Army Medical Center's Ward 57, we are given a searing view of the wounded and their families confronting changed lives.

"In a country of nearly three hundred million people," Henderson writes, "only two and half million serve in the active duty armed forces. . . Yet in our American democracy, the warriors themselves don't get to decide when [sacrifices] are to be made. Civilians make that decision. It's up to our civilian Congress to declare war. . . and it's up to the civilians who elect those leaders to pay attention, to make sure that the cause of the hour is worth the sacrifices being made on their behalf." While They're at War is moving and necessary testimony for all Americans, from the military families who make possible America's way of war and way of life.

Kristin Henderson has written frequently on military issues; this book had its origins in two cover stories for the Washington Post Magazine. She is also the author of Driving by Moonlight, an account of her experience during her husband's deployment to Afghanistan. A practicing Quaker, she is married to a Navy chaplain serving with the Marines and is active in the Marine Corps's Key Volunteer family readiness program.

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While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront + War and the Soul: Healing Our Nation's Veterans from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. By the time Beth Pratt's husband returned from Iraq, they had been apart longer than they had known each other. Not long after Charlie Bootes's first deployment, his wife, Marissa Bootes, became a leader in one of the army's Family Readiness Groups, heading up phone trees and organizing girls' nights out while also managing a job and motherhood. When three uniformed soldiers came to Michelle Hellerman's door, she thought that they were picking her up for a comfort team; she didn't imagine that the terrible news was for her. "This is the war story you never hear," writes Henderson about what is actually a series of engrossing and often heartbreaking stories built from more than 100 interviews. The Quaker wife of a military chaplain, Henderson is a compassionate expert witness. For military families, her explanations of the official and unofficial support systems that serve (and sometimes fail) Fort Bragg's soldiers amount to a useful handbook. For civilians, the stories provide a revealing look into what it really means when a country goes to war. Though many of the soldiers Henderson writes about are serving in Iraq, she takes neither side in the war debate, and keeps to a style that is both intimate and professional. This is an emotional book that effectively plies the complexities of military life. (Feb)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

An all-volunteer military now means that most Americans don't personally know someone serving in Iraq or Afghanistan or elsewhere, which means we also don't know much about the toll on their families. Henderson, whose husband is a navy chaplain, profiles military families, focusing on two wives coping with life at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. Beth Pratt and Marissa Bootes face the challenges of their husbands' first deployment as junior enlisted men, and they are full of anxieties while struggling to maintain emotional and financial stability. Henderson details the support groups developed by military wives to bolster themselves against depression, substance abuse, infidelity, the pressures of single parenthood, suicidal impulses, and husbands who return with emotional problems. One group stays in such compulsive contact that a husband jokingly calls them a cult. This powerful, revealing, and sometimes painful book offers a look behind the scenes of military families most often seen during tearful good-byes, joyful homecomings, and "the occasional yellow-ribbon moment." Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; First Edition first Printing edition (February 2, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0618558756
  • ISBN-13: 978-0618558759
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,235,347 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

41 Reviews
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3 star:
 (1)
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Average Customer Review
4.5 out of 5 stars (41 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars ILLUMINATES WAR'S HIDDEN COSTS, February 11, 2006
This review is from: While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront (Hardcover)
Journalist Kristin Henderson, wife of a military chaplain, has written a timely book about life on the homefront, the story -- or, more accurately, the stories -- of America's military families, the spouses and children whose husbands and fathers, wives and mothers, serve as part of our volunteer military. This beautifully written book left me in tears every few pages; Henderson tells many stories here -- of marriages that grow, marriages that fail, a wounded soldier rebuilding his body with the help of his wife, a widow rebuilding her shattered life with the help of family, friends and her community.

Henderson has a great talent for painting a detailed picture in shades of gray -- there is no black or white in these stories, no absolute right or wrong. When she documents the coming-apart of a relationship, Henderson puts herself into each partner's point of view. There are no villains, just people striving to do their best in what are often difficult and heartbreaking circumstances. These stories inspire compassion, and often pride and admiration of the service members, their spouses, and their families. Henderson incorporates much useful information concerning resources for military spouses and families, and includes many illuminating statistics without ever being dry or boring.

WHILE THEY'RE AT WAR gave me a new appreciation for the sacrifices involved in a military career, sacrifices made both by service members and by the family members that love and support them. Many thanks to Henderson for telling an important story both we civilians and our leaders need to understand in evaluating the full costs of war to our society.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Should Be Required Reading for Every Member of Congress & Everyone in the Executive Branch, February 20, 2006
By 
g3 (Marquette, MI United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   
This review is from: While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront (Hardcover)
This book is a tour de force. The author has deftly integrated many compelling personal narratives about the experiences of military spouses left behind when their mates deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, together with a great deal of factual material and statistics which tell us what our government is, and is not, doing to support the troops and their families before and after deployment. The result is the best form of non-fiction; a story you cannot put down until the end, along with credible, well-researched and well-documented facts that provide education as well as entertainment. As the author points out, most of us in the US do not have anyone "in the fight", and though we may have firmly held beliefs about whether or not the US should be in Iraq, we probably don't have a lot of first-hand knowledge about what the war effort really entails for those who are actually involved. This book puts us into the soldiers' homes, before, during and after their deployments. We ride along with the stateside spouses as they deal with work, children, child care, and their peers. We get inside the stresses they face and we see where the "system" offers them support and where it fails. Because so few of the people in the Administration and Congress have had the personal experience of military service, and even fewer - if any - have had any experience with deployment in the military conflicts of the new millenium, this book should be required reading for every one of them. I wish I could afford to send a copy to every member of Congress, but I can't. I wish the House and the Senate, along with the Pentagon and the White House, would form a book club and make this their first choice. We would all benefit from such an endeavor.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars a very important and wonderful book, February 5, 2006
By 
This review is from: While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront (Hardcover)
Only 1% of our nation knows what it's like to send the people they love into war. Kristin Henderson makes this point in WHILE THEY'RE AT WAR and discusses the importance for every citizen to understand what they're going through. Whether you're for the war or against it - it is neccessary to support the military families and spouses.

Wonderfully written, compelling and riveting, this book shows what it's like for two very different women going through their husband's first deployments. Kristin's own story as a military spouse is in the background, and she also includes the stories of many other women and men across the country.

I couldn't put this book down - and feel that it is a book that can change lives - it certainly changed mine.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
DOES IT GET EASIER? asked Beth Pratt. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Fort Bragg, Hooah Wives, National Guard, Air Force, North Carolina, Green Ramp, Beth Pratt, Marine Corps, Iraq War, Walter Reed, Quaker House, Army Community Services, Marissa Bootes, Chaplain Hartz, Lieutenant Colonel Pecko, United States, Camp Lejeune, Gulf War, Fayetteville Observer, World War, Marie Michele, Martha Brown, Melinda Ferrin, Family Readiness Group, Jenn Marner
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