Customer Reviews

While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront

5 star:		(33)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Journalist Kristin Henderson, wife of a military chaplain, has written a timely book about life on the homefront, the story -- or, more accurately, the stories -- of America's military families, the spouses and children whose husbands and fathers, wives and mothers, serve as part of our volunteer military. This beautifully written book left me in tears every few pages; Henderson tells many stories here -- of marriages that grow, marriages that fail, a wounded soldier rebuilding his body with the help of his wife, a widow rebuilding her shattered life with the help of family, friends and her community.

Henderson has a great talent for painting a detailed picture in shades of gray -- there is no black or white in these stories, no absolute right or wrong. When she documents the coming-apart of a relationship, Henderson puts herself into each partner's point of view. There are no villains, just people striving to do their best in what are often difficult and heartbreaking circumstances. These stories inspire compassion, and often pride and admiration of the service members, their spouses, and their families. Henderson incorporates much useful information concerning resources for military spouses and families, and includes many illuminating statistics without ever being dry or boring.

WHILE THEY'RE AT WAR gave me a new appreciation for the sacrifices involved in a military career, sacrifices made both by service members and by the family members that love and support them. Many thanks to Henderson for telling an important story both we civilians and our leaders need to understand in evaluating the full costs of war to our society.

This book is a tour de force. The author has deftly integrated many compelling personal narratives about the experiences of military spouses left behind when their mates deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, together with a great deal of factual material and statistics which tell us what our government is, and is not, doing to support the troops and their families before and after deployment. The result is the best form of non-fiction; a story you cannot put down until the end, along with credible, well-researched and well-documented facts that provide education as well as entertainment. As the author points out, most of us in the US do not have anyone "in the fight", and though we may have firmly held beliefs about whether or not the US should be in Iraq, we probably don't have a lot of first-hand knowledge about what the war effort really entails for those who are actually involved. This book puts us into the soldiers' homes, before, during and after their deployments. We ride along with the stateside spouses as they deal with work, children, child care, and their peers. We get inside the stresses they face and we see where the "system" offers them support and where it fails. Because so few of the people in the Administration and Congress have had the personal experience of military service, and even fewer - if any - have had any experience with deployment in the military conflicts of the new millenium, this book should be required reading for every one of them. I wish I could afford to send a copy to every member of Congress, but I can't. I wish the House and the Senate, along with the Pentagon and the White House, would form a book club and make this their first choice. We would all benefit from such an endeavor.

Only 1% of our nation knows what it's like to send the people they love into war. Kristin Henderson makes this point in WHILE THEY'RE AT WAR and discusses the importance for every citizen to understand what they're going through. Whether you're for the war or against it - it is neccessary to support the military families and spouses.

Wonderfully written, compelling and riveting, this book shows what it's like for two very different women going through their husband's first deployments. Kristin's own story as a military spouse is in the background, and she also includes the stories of many other women and men across the country.

I couldn't put this book down - and feel that it is a book that can change lives - it certainly changed mine.

This books gives a pretty accurate dipiction of military life during war time. Each of the stories shows a different way a spouse reacted during the deployment. The only problem I have with this book is that each story is so scattered throughout the book. I wished that each chapter would have focused on on one story for every chapter or two. This way is a little confusing as to where each person is. There are times the author even is switching between Vietnam War and Iraq War stories and it can be very confusing. Overall I felt like I wasn't alone in my feelings during the deployment. And learned a few more things. I really liked the section in the back of the book that listed where the author got a lot of her reference materials, so I can read them too.

So to the reader who states that it's our own fault if we don't search out the information - Sometimes we don't know where to go or who to contact to get that information. During my husbands deployment, if our Marine unit hadn't had mandatory family readiness meetings for everyone I would never had known what was going on. Thank god for the KVC because when I went to the mandatory Return and Reunion meeting for the entire unit - the Ombudsman had, had no idea there was any Navy attached to Weapons Co. She was so surprised to see us and here they were coming back in a few weeks after being gone for a year! Being in the Navy I got all my information thru the Marines and not all that applied to me in the NAVY. They'd tell me to contact the Navy for more information but couldn't tell me who to talk too. Where does that leave me? Hanging out there in the wind. I live in a civilian community and am the only one with a miltary deployed husband, I lost my job because of his deployment. This is a book that civilians should read to get a little better understanding of the military spouse situation. Because a being a military spouse is not at all like being a single parent!

Kristin Henderson's fine book, While They're at War: The True Story of American Families on the Homefront, is directed toward those of us -- the majority of Americans -- who have no personal connection with the military. So it's impressive how many reader reviews praising the accuracy of her portrayal were written by military spouses.

Her overview of military life is also impressive. Her subject matter was thoroughly researched, as evidenced by some ten pages of references. She covers both the stresses on and resources available to the families -- wives in particular -- of soldiers who are deployed in time of war. If this were the totality of Henderson's book, it would be a fine, informative guide to military life.

But While They're at War is so much more than that. Kristin Henderson is not only a researcher, but an insider, married to a Navy chaplain serving with the Marines. Since September 11, she has had to see him off on deployments to Afghanistan and then Iraq. She is also an active volunteer with a family readiness support program, where she met many of the spouses she came to know and interview.

Their stories are the heart and soul of her book. Human beings have a limited capacity for imagination when it comes to large numbers of people. It's often been remarked that newspaper readers or TV viewers can be unmoved by the plight of a thousand children at risk, but be frozen with fear for one child who has fallen down a well. In Henderson's reporting, we don't just get statistics. Rather, we learn the personal stories of Beth and Marissa, one a newlywed, one left behind with a small child, as they struggle with jobs and child care, with loneliness and with the never ending fear that their husband will be the next victim of a deadly roadside bomb.

Henderson must struggle with all these challenges as well -- one reason she tells the stories of these young wives so compellingly. The other is simply that she is a gifted writer, with a novelist's flair for storytelling that makes her book not just informative but a page-turner.

But these stories are more than just diverting stories. As Henderson notes, our wars now are fought by a small minority of our young men and women, and it's obvious that many of those she interviewed had no other viable economic choice than military service. As she puts it, "There is a growing gap between those who serve and those who don't."

Henderson wants to remind the American public and policy-makers that these are not faceless, "disposable" young men and women. Rather, each is "an individual, a precious, irreplaceable human being who is loved by a mother, a father, a sister, a boyfriend. A wife."

You can't read this wonderful and important account without having this realization brought home.

After reading so many wonderful reviews for this book, I felt that I needed to read it. My husband is currently deployed and I'm always looking for related books.

As I got further and further into the book I found I was increasingly disappointed. The book is very scattered - to the point of frequent confusion. While the stories of the women are very touching and easy to relate to, I found it difficult to keep all the the details for each story together because of the nature in which the book was written. Henderson does a good job of working through the policies of the Army, though again it was so scattered and frequently interjected in the middle of a story.

While the stories of the women are well told, I was disappointed that the aspect of being a wife with no children was practically ignored. Yes, one of the characters is childless, but Henderson didn't discuss that dynamic and that disappointed me. Not every military spouse has children, childless spouses face different (and hard) challenges because of that.

All in all it wasn't a bad book, but I wasn't as impressed with it as some of the other reviewers.

Kristin is a brillant writer. Her writing grabs your attention and doesn't let you go. She truly captured the truth of this lifestyle. This is a book for every American to read not only to honor military members and their families, but to also to see an inside glimpse and understand what it means when loved ones are sent to war. As a military spouse, I am proud to call Kristin a spokesperson for all of us who have experienced a loved one being sent to dangerous locations in order to serve our nation. You did it Kristin! Thank you!

As a chaplain in the National Guard, I minister to families of deployed soldiers regularly. Henderson's book is a well-written view of what soldier families are dealing with while their loved one is away. This book is a must read for anyone who has a relationship with a deployed soldier's family. I believe it will also be helpful for those soldier's spouses to read, to help normalize what they are going through, and provide additional resources for help.

Wow! I have been absorbed in this book since I bought it two days ago. This was quite an undertaking by Kristin Henderson and she did an amazing job. The scope of this book is huge and complicated. I don't know HOW she managed to distill it and make it so readable. Her narrative style is very engaging and draws us into the lives of the women. Since I have been an Army wife for 16 years, I can tell you that she knows what she's talking about. The only problem is that it seems to focus exclusively on the negative aspects of burdens, suffering, and sacrifice. Military life is complicated but not without its joys and rewards.

Very educational. I think the author articulated the emotion that these women were feeling and gave good examples of the different type of coping skills used. As a military wife and mother, I am actually glad I read this after our family deployment experience. I could feel their pain.