Customer Reviews

While We Wait: Spiritual & Practical Advice for Those Trying to Adopt

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Heidi Schlumpf is an associate professor of communication at Aurora University and a religious writer whose work often appears in National Catholic Reporter. While We Wait is the story of what she and her husband Edmund experienced over three years as they waited for their first adopted child, a seven-month-old boy from Vietnam. As this book went to press, they were looking forward to expanding their family with a baby girl from China. Although we learn the circumstances that brought Heidi and Edmund to adoption and the course they chose, the book contains practical advice for those whose stories are different in the details.

The six chapters address (1) why adopt, (2) seasons of waiting, (3) those who wait with you, (4) when the going gets tough, (5) coping strategies, and (6) spiritual resources. The chapters consist of roughly a dozen short reflections, each of which begins with a quotation and ends with a prayer. In her introduction Schlumpf suggests two ways individuals might use this resource. Some may start at the beginning and read one reflection each day; others may select topics that relate to their current situation.

While We Wait emphasizes the importance of faith and trust in God's presence, especially in difficult times. "God is with me in my pain, not causing it," Schlumpf writes. "And God is with me in my joy." She shares spiritual resources that help her, including Scripture, prayer, reflection on lives of the saints and mystics, and worshipping in community. She also describes a variety of coping strategies, such as keeping busy, slowing down, and letting go; connecting with nature and beauty; and service to others.

We were given this book by a dear friend who understood the mixed blessing of our adoption journey- both the anticipation and anxiety. We adopted our first child with few complications. It was, as adoption journeys go, relatively painless. The journey to adopt our second child has been quite different. We've endured a long wait and suffered the loss of a failed adoption. This book is genuine. Its reflections offer comfort and a sense of belonging. It is amazing that an author can reach out and relate to my experiences when each adoption journey is so different. I'd reccomend this to any couple in the adoption process.

This is the greatest book for anyone waiting for an adopted child--parent, grandparent, extended relatives. I liked the way the book was designed--with short chapters and down-to-earth topics. The writing is superb.

What a journey, literally and figuratively, for author Heidi Schlumpf and her husband, Edmund - adopting a child internationally. How generous to share their experiences with others. It caught my interest because I know several couples in the process of adopting and I have recommended the book to them. Marriages can get stronger through the experience or fall apart. Schlumpf reveals the best kept secret of all - not who to pay off, not which country is the most lenient, not a list of recommended law firms -- simply how they trusted in God. What an example of Christian faith put to the test.

"That's why I rarely pray for God to help bring our child to us more quickly," she writes. "But I do believe that I can trust God to help me and be with me through whatever happens in life. Having that trust is scary sometimes, but in the end it feels better than constant fear." So ends her reflection "Fear," which is followed by a short prayer: "God, I trust you. Help me to banish fear from my mind and my heart." Each essay begins with a quote by a familiar person, saint or from the Bible. Schlumpf's essay format is what I like so much about the book. Her formula is simple: quote, essay, prayer.

This setup allows the reader to begin where they need to begin or to drop in wherever. The section "Why Adopt?" covers basics from "The Paper Chase" to "The Cost." Section two deals with all of the "Seasons of Waiting." Be aware, the process can take years.

Schlumpf is also sensitive to the needs of the waiting father and others who wait with them, beyond the immediate couple. That is why it is also a valuable reference for the extended family

The book outlines coping strategies and does not minimize rough spots. There is also a sensitive reminder that the task of adoption agencies is to "find parents for children, not children for parents." Schlumpf says, "That's their way of reminding anxious and impatient prospective adoptive parents - many of whom, like Edmund and me, have waited so long to become parents - that adoption is really not about them. It's about the children."

Faith during this kind of process calls for extraordinary strength. There are reflections that encourage the kind of belief and trust needed for this journey. Schlumpf's struggles were real; she did not sugarcoat them with a sappy sense of religion. Her trust in the process, based on faith, is genuine. It shows in the quotes she selected, her topics, and in her sincere prayers to God.

A "should have" book for couples considering adoption and those close to them.