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Whip Smart: A Memoir Hardcover – March 2, 2010

by Melissa Febos (Author)

89 customer reviews

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A dark, wild, powerful memoir about a young woman’s transformation from college student to professional dominatrix
While a college student at The New School, Melissa Febos spent four years working as a dominatrix in a midtown dungeon. In poetic, nuanced prose she charts how unchecked risk-taking eventually gave way to a course of self-destruction. But as she recounts crossing over the very boundaries that she set for her own safety, she never plays the victim. In fact, the glory of this memoir is Melissa’s ability to illuminate the strange and powerful truths that she learned as she found her way out of a hell of her own making. Rest assured; the reader will emerge from the journey more or less unscathed.

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Product Details

Hardcover: 288 pages
Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books; First Edition edition (March 2, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0312561024
ISBN-13: 978-0312561024
Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars See all reviews (89 customer reviews)
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,113,535 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1825 in Books > Medical Books > Psychology > Sexuality
- #2653 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Sexuality
- #28201 in Books > Biographies & Memoirs > Memoirs

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Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars

5 star		55%
4 star		20%
3 star		9%
2 star		11%
1 star		5%

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

91 of 100 people found the following review helpful

Interesting read, but the writer's voice is a little off-putting

By Mandy Alford on March 28, 2010

Format: Hardcover

I picked this book up after hearing an interview with the author on NPR. I am a big fan of memoirs in general, and I have read many sex worker memoirs, though this is the first I've read that solely focused on dominatrix work. I would have to say this book falls in the middle; it isn't the worst memoir, but it certainly isn't the best. For me, the writer came off as pretentious (hardly a chapter goes by without her mentioning her GPA or how much smarter she is than everyone else). I tend to prefer a writer (when it comes to memoirs) who can bring across the gravity of a situation, but is also able to be funny or even a little self-depreciating. Constantly boasting about any facet of your personality is a little off-putting, and it is pretty hard not to notice in this work.

I also feel in certain sections there were bits left out/glossed over or the writing was intentionally vague. I would often find I had unanswered questions in my mind, and Miss Febos would go off on her own (untrained) psychoanalysis of herself or speak at length about her addiction, which was honestly not as interesting to me. I understand this is a memoir about her, but it is also marketed foremost as a dominatrix memoir. I assumed the path to sobriety and AA meetings would play a smaller role than they did. I left the book feeling as though I should find another memoir by a dominatrix if I want to have a more thorough understanding of the profession in general, and clients in particular. I also think it would be more interesting to have a conversation or interview with Miss Febos than to read her book.

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66 of 75 people found the following review helpful

disappointing.

By H. Johnson on May 19, 2010

Format: Hardcover

i was really looking forward to reading this book; i have one dear friend who loved it, and the author and i share common friends and even attended the same college. sadly and frustratingly, the book left me underwhelmed and exasperated. i finished it just to make it end, and so i could move onto something else.

'whip smart' has potential: the subject matter is intriguing. febos is to be commended for revealing an aspect of her past that may be seen as controversial, judged with disdain. there are a handful of beautifully woven passages. that, however, is where my praise ends. as others have already noted, her voice was offputting, haughty, entitled. it seemed to me she turned to drugs and other sundry dangerous/stupid lifestyle choices because the world bored her, and she was 'too intelligent' to endure it, to withstand the stupidity of everyone around her without drowning herself in substances. every time she casually tossed in some reference to 'harvard' or her 4.0 GPA, which, she repeated often, she maintained while high out of her mind and juggling a demanding domming schedule, i liked her less, cared less about her as a character. the constant dimestore psychoanalysis was beyond aggravating. the grammatical errors were numerous. the story was poorly constructed, didn't flow well. bottom line, i couldn't empathize with her; her struggles were self-induced; she came from a privileged, loving family and there was nothing wrong with her life that she didn't create herself. the book stretched my patience whisper thin; i could hardly finish it.

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36 of 41 people found the following review helpful

Creative Non Fiction vs Memoir - The contrived "turning point" and rehasing the Feminine Mystique

By crewelmoi on August 26, 2010

Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase

Whip Smart: A MemoirPlot spoiler warning!

I typically do not like or trust memoir as a genre. As a writer/artist, I take issue with the memoir claim that it is "true" or more truthful than creative non fiction. I find the opposite to be true. Memoirs are often times prefaced that they are a retelling of events in a creative way, and are skewed, jumbled, out of time with the actual events, and combine people to make the story more coherent and cohesive. Well, that's creative non fiction. And, memory is faulty. Memory alone creates some of the best non published works.

Memoir is a setup for the contrived "turning point" wherein the protagonist redeems her or himself, typically finds God, and in this case like so many others, finds a good man to make her life complete. I'm not applauding, Febos, you're pandering to get published.

The start of the book was very promising but the language became very bulky/overdone and stuck to that type of writing that I find tedious - telling us, not taking us there to experience it. All those creatively worded sentences seemed to pack a punch - but when I stopped to think about them, break them down, analyze them - they really didn't have any meaning. I know all the big words, but transporting me to an experience is much more powerful. Instead, I felt turned off and I started to really dislike Melissa/Justine. Was that Febos' goal? No, I don't think I can give her that much credit as an author. It is evident that she was instead trying to control and impress us, to be righteous, to be smarter. It was cold and did not further the art.

The story was a familiar tale of the Feminine Mystique.Read more ›

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20 of 23 people found the following review helpful

extremely interesting read

By Amazon Customer VINE VOICE on March 31, 2010

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

I have the Kindle edition of this book, which is not a bad idea if you're bashful about reading something with whips on the cover. But hopefully, you're not too squeamish, because this book holds nothing back. While I have always been curious about the life of a professional dominatrix, this book was the first time I ever learned about the realities. It is a much tougher job than it sounds like. I loved reading about Melissa's transformation in Justine, and her reflections - academic and objective, or personal - on this lifestyle. I was also impressed over time with her kindness to these people, her clients. She had a sensitivity to them even though their proclivities would be considered very strange by your average person's standards.

The most difficult parts to read were about her addiction to drugs. I became very worried about the outcome, until I realized that not only did I have half the book left to read, but the author was clearly still alive. I can't imagine what it feels like to be an addict, but I felt dragged along on this darker part of the journey. It is pretty amazing when anyone can overcome that. It must be noted that drugs and domination don't go hand in hand. In fact, I'd imagine it could sometimes be difficult to do one's job safely if too many drugs were involved. And no, I didn't want to read about addiction, as some other reviewers wrote. But it was part of her life and experience - it could hardly be left out and still tell her story.

Melissa is a very interesting person. I related to many of her emotions and feelings, like the compulsion to be desired, or wanting to be open to try anything once (great for a writer), for example, or the way she enjoyed impressing people at parties. Okay, maybe everyone likes to impress people at parties!Read more ›

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Most Recent Customer Reviews

Insightful

I am approaching one year of sobriety and can honestly say this was unexpectedly one of the best books to read at this point along my journey. Read more

Published 23 days ago by brookenmurphy

good autobiography

Published 1 month ago by Madame Amrita

Five Stars

Great read and well written.

Published 5 months ago by Kimberly Valero

Self-Indulgent mess. Misses the mark completely.

An awful book. And a shame because a good editor, brought in at the beginning, would have made this a winner. Read more

Published 7 months ago by Kerri K.

Whip Smart provides an honest personal description of the dominatrix...

Extremely well written and insightful. Whip Smart provides an honest personal description of the dominatrix proffesion and one woman's process of self understanding. Read more

Published 7 months ago by sam johnson

Well-written, raw, honest memoir of a protagonist whose ...

Well-written, raw, honest memoir of a protagonist whose life was more relatable than I would have expected, given her profession. A model for how to write a memoir, truly.

Published 7 months ago by Amazon Customer

Whip Smart is a beatifully written account of a brilliant young ...

Whip Smart is a beatifully written account of a brilliant young woman's experience in the murky world of NYC's underground sex and illegal drug industry. Read more

Published 8 months ago by michael grein

A waste of time and money

The sole purpose of the books appears to be shock value, and it works, for a chapter or two. Then, like any repetitious writing, it bores. Read more

Published 10 months ago by Richard A. Herman

I said, "READ IT, Scum!"

Much more than prurient stories. Well-written and insightful. Plus prurient stories. What's not to like.

Published 10 months ago by Betty Castle

Practing Dominatrix Casts Her Vote

It's really sad and pathetic that this woman passed herself off as a Dominatrix. She has barely lived at all and yet she considers herself quite the expert. Read more

Published 11 months ago by Vinyl Queen