Customer Reviews

White Fire [VHS]

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Worst movie ever made, which is precisely why I bought it -- couldn't be happier with this purchase.

This is one of those films which is so bad, it's funny. And I can't believe they released it on DVD.

The plot is as follows: Bo (Robert Ginty) and his sister are jewel thieves. Bo sees his sister swimming naked in the pool and finds her attractive, saying "Y'know, if you weren't my sister...". A few minutes later she is killed by a blow-dart to the forehead. Sometime later, Bo meets a girl who looks JUST LIKE his sister, and falls in love with her.

How sick is THAT?

Oh, and there'a big diamond called "White Fire" (the title character!) that everyone wants to steal.

So what makes this film so bad (besides the "plot" detailed above)? Well, here are some examples:

1. At one point in the film, we are in Istanbul. And there's a subtitle on the screen to tell us that...except they spell it wrong! They spell it "Istambul", with an "m".

2. At various random moments throughout the first 20 minutes or so, the "White Fire" rock theme blares. It doesn't fade in, or seem to make any sense when it shows up, it just randomly appears, and loudly too!

3. Guards with oversized helmets. "Spaceballs", anyone?

4. Lots of gratuitous, senseless violence. Robert Ginty takes a chainsaw to somebody's crotch!

5. The director doesn't have his name printed in the credits, he SIGNS IT. That's right, all you see is his SIGNATURE...and it's illegible. My friend suggested that he did this to avoid anyone finding out he directed the film.

I could go on, but that would spoil the fun. If you like bad films, check this one out.

Even the presence of Fred "The Hammer" Williamson can't save this turkey of a movie, WHITE FIRE, starring Robert Ginty. Ginty's character, Bo, and Bo's sister Ingrid, are orphans in the debt of an older friend; when they wee children, he saved them from the Russian army.

As adults, they plot with their friend to steal diamonds from the Turkish diamond mine where Ingrid works. Somehow, they become aware of a legendary huge diamond, the "White Fire" diamond, which exists in the mine. Only late in the plot does Williamson's character enter the movie, as a bounty hunter trying to capture one of the main characters. At this point, the inept cinematography, laughable dialogue, and confused plotting have all but destroyed the movie. You have to wonder if Fred Williamson even got paid for his work in this movie.

Robert Ginty's character winces throughout the movie like he's got hemorrhoids, and he recites his dialogue as though it doesn't matter one whit what he says.

The female lead's portrayal of Ingrid is unremarkable, save one or two nude scenes. Bo lusts after Ingrid openly; what's going on here? They're siblings, for crying out loud. You have to see it to believe it; I can't truly convey how creepy the scene feels.

One example of the muddled amateurism at work: part of the plot concerns the death of a major character, though I won't spoil it by telling you which one. Then, another actor mysteriously appears (astonishingly resembling the newly departed) and is trained and modified (through plastic surgery; we all know the Turks have top-notch cosmetic surgeons!) to become a near-replica of (and assume the identity of) Character-A, even though the diamond-theft plot doesn't rely on appearances at all.

If you feel the need to see all of Fred Williamson's films, you won't want to miss this one. Unfortunately, this is also MST3K material, for the pathetic dialogue and overall abysmal quality.

ken32

WHITE FIRE has to be among the worst videos of all time. It looks low-budget, with grainy film and uneven editing. The script is terrible, with dialogue that sounds too poor to be written. The movie has marginal "so bad it's good" value, with relatively few laughs to be derived from the abysmal material.

The plot: Robert McGinty's character, Bo, and Bo's sister Ingrid see their parents gunned down by Russian soldiers. Fast forward to 20 years later, where Bo and Ingrid work for a multinational diamond mine in Turkey. The headquarters is so high-tech that the guards look like Darth Vader, and the doors open and close like those on the starship Enterprise.

Anyway, Bo and Ingrid steal some diamonds from the mine offices, then hatch a plot to steal "White Fire," a huge diamond which some think to be only legendary. Late in the movie, Fred Williamson enters as a bounty hunter intent on interfering with Bo's plans.

This movie has a good deal of gore (an action, grab-the-available-weapon scene even includes the use of a chainsaw as a weapon), and a very long and gratuitous nude scene. These both serve to date the movie as late 1970s or early 1980s. The marginal production values and ridiculous plot (I haven't written the worst of it here, I'd hate to spoil it for you) do nothing to redeem the movie. Even the presence of the great Fred "The Hammer" Williamson can't save WHITE FIRE.