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Dumb White Husband vs. The Grocery Store (A Short Story) [Kindle Edition]

Benjamin Wallace
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (68 customer reviews)

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Book Description

John is a dumb white husband. That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can’t quite master the intricacies of the potty.

It isn’t his fault. He studied hard and got a college degree. He works hard and earns a comfortable living. But, like all other dumb white husbands, he leads a dual life; competent member of society by day, helpless male by night, weekends and holidays.

He has served for years as the nervous legal department-approved foil of commercials, TV and movies. And, for this service, we thank him. No one has ever cared to look inside the mind of the dumb white husband – probably for a fear of what we might find – but, if we took a minute to consider it, we may see that he’s not as dumb as we all think. But, he probably is.

In this adventure, Dumb White Husband goes to the grocery store.

Also available in the collected edition The Big Book of Dumb White Husband.


Editorial Reviews

From the Author

About the Dumb White Husband series:


Product Details

  • File Size: 408 KB
  • Print Length: 33 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005PK42BS
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,297 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "Hurting (her)self only a little..." September 29, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Yes, I hurt myself laughing at the desperate antics of a dumb white husband who just wants to watch the game. Until now, I didn't realize it was possible to create edge-of-the seat suspense from such a seemingly simple goal.

Buy it. Enjoy. It's hard to find entertainment like this for under a buck.
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant November 11, 2011
By MikeB
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Every husband I know of believes that the author was lurking around their home, watching them, to get the ideas for this story. It's brilliant and very very funny! Now, I am quite certain that this book was developed from watching me and my wnderful (and understanding!) wife. Wallace, for watching *me*, owes me a full length version of this!
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Been There - Done That September 26, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Lots of laughs.
Cannot wait until White Husband is left alone with the kids.

Well done Benjamin Wallace - following true to the sense of humor
shown in your first two novels, you have further revealed yourself.

Anxiously awaiting for more.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Still laughing November 27, 2012
By Bet
Format:Kindle Edition
Another laugh fest in a similar vein to Will I Ever Sleep Again? Dad Parenting: It's Only The First 40 Years That Are The Most Challenging. Highly enjoyable. An easy read that was just the tonic for keeping a smile on my face. There are a few of these types of reads out there, so I will keep investigating a few more of them.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars HYSTERICAL! February 12, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. Made the mistake of reading it in bed after hubby fell asleep. Was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down my face! Its a quick 20-30 minute read but worth the $.99!!
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Comedic and light January 30, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I happened upon this short story while it was free and I'm glad I downloaded it. The author's writing style is light and fun - picture you and dear friends out to dinner and drinks and the best story teller of the group is rattling off "another one of his stories" - sometimes they're campy, sometimes they're not, but you manage to laugh because hidden in the comedy is that bit of truth that makes it delightful. This is how I picture Benjamin Wallace's story telling (and yes, I am happy to say this story drew some very honest grins from me.) This is clean fun comedy - a light and quick read and very refreshing!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars We've all been there February 26, 2013
By Rick
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Dumb white husband or not, we've all been in that moment where you need to do a chore and absolutely do not want to do it. This is a short story of what happens when that chore is the grocery store.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars OH SOOO TRUE February 13, 2013
By G
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
My husband does our grocery shopping and believe me this book is all about him. I laughed at many of the situations written in this book b/c I have been a part of them. Fun to read.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars LOL
I couldn't stop laughing. So like someone I know... right honey?
Published 6 days ago by Horse Dreamz
2.0 out of 5 stars Quick read, funny but lacking imagery
While this story is one we can all imagine, the author shouldn't leave it to the reader to imagine details. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Frankie Dunham
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
laugh-out-loud funny... best not to read in public.
Published 1 month ago by Laura VanDeKop
5.0 out of 5 stars Reviewed by KyBunnies
So funny.
Published 1 month ago by Suzie Welker
5.0 out of 5 stars Men!
LOL This was such a cute story. I can see my husband doing this. The world could end and he'd get upset for interrupting a game or race ........ very enjoyable!!
Published 2 months ago by Kim Dooley
5.0 out of 5 stars Too cute
Had me rolling. You can just feel his frustration thru the story. being a cashier I had to roll at that part to real. I think every one should read this that needs a good laugh.
Published 2 months ago by Mof
1.0 out of 5 stars Man is watching TV. Man's wife asks him to go to the store. Man goes...
Man is watching TV. Man's wife asks him to go to the store. Man goes to the store. The end.

I find it odd that someone would take the time to publish a manuscript in... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Apollinaire
3.0 out of 5 stars D.W.H.vs the grocery store.
Funny stuff. It wasn't laugh out loud funny, but I was chuckling on the inside! Reminds me of a few people I've known, both male and female. I'd recommend this story and author.
Published 2 months ago by Lisa
1.0 out of 5 stars Funny? No
Offered for free today, so I gave it a try. Funny? No. Ridiculous? Absolutely.
I realize this is meant as a satire, but it's to stupid to waste time or money on the rest of... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Kristianna
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny story
Another funny story, I must admit I was in the grocery store envisioning him, especially his struggles with the carts and his struggles to remember his wife's ever expanding... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Older & wiser (Ohio)
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More About the Author

Benjamin Wallace is the bestselling author of Post-Apocalyptic Nomadic Warriors, the Dumb White Husband series and other nonsense. He lives is Dallas, Texas where he complains about the heat--a lot.

www.benjaminwallacebooks.com
www.dumbwhitehusband.com



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