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Dumb White Husband vs. The Grocery Store (A Short Story) [Kindle Edition]

Benjamin Wallace
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (56 customer reviews)

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Book Description

John is a dumb white husband. That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can't quite master the intricacies of the potty.

It isn't his fault. He studied hard and got a college degree. He works hard and earns a comfortable living. But, like all other dumb white husbands, he leads a dual life; competent member of society by day, helpless male by night, weekends and holidays.

He has served for years as the nervous legal department-approved foil of commercials, TV and movies. And, for this service, we thank him. No one has ever cared to look inside the mind of the dumb white husband - probably for a fear of what we might find - but, if we took a minute to consider it, we may see that he's not as dumb as we all think. But, he probably is.

In this adventure, Dumb White Husband goes to the grocery store.

NOTE: This title is also available as part of the Dumb White Husband collected edition, Dumb White Husband for President (and other stories)


Editorial Reviews

From the Author

About the Dumb White Husband series:


Product Details

  • File Size: 216 KB
  • Print Length: 31 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005PK42BS
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #125,625 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Can't wait for more "Dumb White Husband" stories! Elizabeth "Liz"  |  12 reviewers made a similar statement
Good thing it's a short story or I might have strained something trying to be quiet. A. Chambers  |  8 reviewers made a similar statement
This is clean fun comedy - a light and quick read and very refreshing! Lalla Rookh  |  10 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "Hurting (her)self only a little..." September 29, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Yes, I hurt myself laughing at the desperate antics of a dumb white husband who just wants to watch the game. Until now, I didn't realize it was possible to create edge-of-the seat suspense from such a seemingly simple goal.

Buy it. Enjoy. It's hard to find entertainment like this for under a buck.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant November 11, 2011
By MikeB
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Every husband I know of believes that the author was lurking around their home, watching them, to get the ideas for this story. It's brilliant and very very funny! Now, I am quite certain that this book was developed from watching me and my wnderful (and understanding!) wife. Wallace, for watching *me*, owes me a full length version of this!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Been There - Done That September 26, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Lots of laughs.
Cannot wait until White Husband is left alone with the kids.

Well done Benjamin Wallace - following true to the sense of humor
shown in your first two novels, you have further revealed yourself.

Anxiously awaiting for more.
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars We've all been there
Dumb white husband or not, we've all been in that moment where you need to do a chore and absolutely do not want to do it. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Rick
4.0 out of 5 stars OH SOOO TRUE
My husband does our grocery shopping and believe me this book is all about him. I laughed at many of the situations written in this book b/c I have been a part of them. Read more
Published 3 months ago by G
5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh, laugh, laugh!
I laughed till I cried reading this book! This guy really can bring the humor out!
Short story for a cold night!
Published 4 months ago by Toni49
1.0 out of 5 stars What?
I think I paid a buck for, and that was to much. Stupid book should have read a little of it before I purchased it
Published 4 months ago by T. Thies
5.0 out of 5 stars Every Wife Should Read This Aloud To Their Husband!
This is so my husband at the store! I laughed till I cried. So relateable that I had to read the best parts aloud to my husband. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Redneck Scholar
4.0 out of 5 stars Very funny and lighthearted!
There is no heavy message in this book, but that is not what you want when you read one of the DWH short stories! Read more
Published 5 months ago by Mark Abrams
5.0 out of 5 stars OMG
I think these would be great guides for marriages. Just to let us wives know we are not alone. LOVED the pizza cutter bit. Way to funny.
Published 5 months ago by Laurabee
5.0 out of 5 stars Top notch
This is a great series of books from Benjamin Wallace. Well thought out and well written. Humor at every page turn. Well done.
Published 5 months ago by Brian J Rubin
5.0 out of 5 stars Still laughing
Another laugh fest in a similar vein to Will I Ever Sleep Again? Dad Parenting: It's Only The First 40 Years That Are The Most Challenging. Highly enjoyable. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Bet
4.0 out of 5 stars Great short story
If this author can't make you laugh, then I don't know who could. Engaging and smile-provoking little tale from a funny guy. I liked it. I liked it a lot.
Published 6 months ago by word addict
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More About the Author

benjaminwallacebooks.com
dumbwhitehusband.com (check this out for more dumb white husband fun)

I was born in Canada; I grew up in Texas. In between I've had a thousand fascinations.

Little things. Trivial things. Almost anything can catch my imagination and spur on a thought-a random article on Wikipedia can cost me hours of a day as I link from page to page.

Mix this active imagination with poor time management skills and you get me. I have more ideas for stories than I have time to tell.

But, I'm trying; I write in the wee hours, the downtime hours, and the many hours when I should be sleeping. One day I hope to write in the daylight hours. Maybe then I'll be able to stay a step ahead of my imagination.

Until then I'll do my best to write books worth reading with jokes worth laughing at as fast as I can. The serious stuff is being taken care of by a world full of great writers. I don't want to shock you or change your mind. I don't even care if it makes you think. I just want you to squirt that drink out your nose.

Hope it's not carbonated.

That tends to sting.

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