Customer Reviews

Who Do You Think You Are?: A Memoir

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

'Who Do You Think You Are?' is a beautifully written book. I read it in one sitting because, from the first page, I literally could not put it down. It is such a BRAVE book: it dares to look at that most sacrosanct -- and mythologized -- relationship: mother and daughter. And it tells a truth: that not all of us like our mothers. And not all mothers like their children.

The book begins with the mother's funeral. The only thing the author wants is a wooden box that has been hidden in her mother's closet for as long as she can remember. She takes the box but does not open it, afraid of the secrets contained within. We then flash back to the 60s in a poorer neighborhood in Queens. Through tight, beautiful prose, we learn of the author's childhood.

What is magical about this book is that it is not a chronicle of some nightmare or a retelling of yet another horrifying story of abject cruelty. Rather, 'Who Do You Think You Are?' is the story of what really goes on behind the closed doors of many peoples' lives. Relationships are not perfect. People hurt one another. People damage one another. And life goes on. Especially for the survivor. Ultimately, this is a book about what it means to love and to discover that place within yourself that lets you love in spite of the hurt you have suffered. It is also a book about forgiving and how that contributes to love. This is an amazing book and one that I recommend in the highest possible terms. It's a gem.

Alyse Myers, if I recall correctly, is a marketing executive with The New York Times, and this is her first book. I recommend it highly!

This memoir makes me want to aspire to write my own. Alas, I doubt I could reach the simplicity of Myers' writing coupled with the profundity of it.

Maybe it's because the book relates closely to my poor, poor relationship with my mother, but that's not all of it, I think. It is simply a great read.

Why can't more books use the simplicity of writing to such powerful effect as Myers does? I sure wish I could.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? was, like other reviewers have said, a very fast read. So fast I didn't want it to end at times.

Five unequivocal stars!

I loved this book. And I wouldn't have thought of it as my kind of book. A friend who liked it gave it to me to read and I couldn't put it down. There's something about the straightforwardness of the writing that just draws you in. My relationship with my mother wasn't as bad as that of the author, but I saw so many issues of our relationship reflected here that it really moved me. And the unexpected ending was amazing.

This totally honest memoir allows the reader to enter the life of Alyse Meyers when she was a child. It is not a pretty life. It is not a life many would want to change places with, yet it sparks a chord in us all. I read this book recently as a book club choice and it couldn't have been a better one. Not only did I find myself completely absorbed in the story and the characters, but it brought about fantastic discussion in a group. After all, we all come from a family and everyone has a story! A very worthwhile read.

This author did nothing to stir up empathy from the reader. She may be a lot more like her mother than she would like to think. She idolized a man who was a poor excuse for a husband and father - in her own words, from her own memories, we hear her mother's worry and panic over the blackout and his absences, with his only response being "well, I'm here now." The author didn't need to ponder the reasons for her mother's anger, depression and cruelty - she spelt it out for the reader - too bad she never figured it out for herself. Did she ever think what sort of hell her mother lived every single day, taking care of three children on her own? I was raised by a single mother, and I am in constant amazement of the burden she shouldered. Nowadays we know of post-partum depression, stress related illnesses, smoking dangers. Back then, even doctors smoked! But it gives her yet another reason to look down her nose at her mother.

Like another reviewer, I found it disturbing that the sisters didn't even merit names, just, "my middle sister" and "the younger sister". Apparently, Alyse was the only child whose feelings mattered. To Alyse, anyways. And the self-described 'good mother' Alyse turns out to be has no qualms telling the reader her response to her teenaged daughter's request to attend a funeral is, "She's your friend, not mine." Wow. Great parenting. Then she whines, "Oh, what would I know about losing a parent?" Talk about self-absorbed and cruel.

I could not identify, sympathize, or empathize with Alyse. I did, however, feel sorry for her mother many, many times.

(PS: wish I'd read the reviews first. If I'd known she was a guest on The View, I'd have steered clear. Typical whiny drivel from that bunch.)

No insight. A the ending - the "I'm the good person I am today because my mother was awful to me, and I wanted to be better than her" is a total cop out. How about that you might be a good person today ~in spite of~ the hate and violence your mother tortured you with as a child? Think about what a wonderful person you'd be like if you had a Good childhood? A supportive parent, a happy household, an understanding family. It's like justifying being spanked as a child as a good thing because hey, you turned out okay, so it must not have been so bad.

There was no real exploration into the reason why her mother was so angry and hateful toward this one daughter and not the other two, why the three didn't get along or speak much. Why?

This is a story suitable for a blog, someone posting about what it was like growing up. Not worthy of print though. Find it at the library. You will read it in one afternoon - it is not a weighty book at all and certainly not one that requires much effort on your part as the author didn't seem to work that hard. So many times I asked "but why?" and wanted to know more, things were hinted at but never explored further and my questions not answered. Could have been a good read but it's really just a quick story of growing up with an angry mother.

"I found this book to be amazingly captivating. I must be honest I did not expect to enjoy this read, but I was entranced from the first page. The book was a nostalgic ride back into my youth. Alyse Myers manages to deal with her formative years in an honest almost cleansing manner. The book shows us how we are in some positive and negative ways the products of our environment. The essence of who we are is shaped in childhood and Alyse shows her strength and determination in rising to the top." - Eva Johnston

*I give it 5 stars, but my computer isn't allowing me to highlight all five.

I was drawn in from the very first sentence and felt amazed at the pure honesty of the words. We all have a story to tell about our childhoods, but few of us would be brave enough to write a book about the details. Our parents provide us with a variety of beginnings, but ultimately, it is up to us to build our own futures. As adults, we need to try and understand who they were at the time and the challenges they faced when making their decisions. Breaking the "cycle" by providing our own children with love and stability is the key. The author has shown us this is possible...and necessary.

This is a truly inspiring book. Not only is the writing flawless and captivating, but Myers tells a story that is real and original. She connects the story of her past to her current life in a manner that reminds us all how we come to be the people we are. This book will force you to examine the relationships in your life and what they mean to you, and in the process is a wonderful read. I could not put it down, and even woke up in the middle of the night just to read what was going to happen next. I am looking forward to reading it again and discovering new things about life, love, and myself. I hope to read another book by Alyse Myers in the near future.

I am not sure why the author of this memoir felt she had to publish this. It is whiny, self-indulged, lacking insight and something one would tell an analyst or therapist, not something the world needs to waste their time reading. It is just another dysfunctional family story with the author at the center. At the end I had the feeling she was saying look at all I endured but what a great person I've turned out to be. It wasn't particularly well- written; there are so many wonderful well-written memoirs out there that why spend your time on this one. As one reviewer mentioned, she never mentions her sisters by name; it is as if they don't matter. I was bothered by this book, that she felt she had to publish it. There are so many many people who have endured much worse who don't feel they have to air their family's dirty laundry to the world. Is she consciously getting back at her mother unfairly after she is dead? Don't waste time or money on this one.