Customer Reviews

Who She Was: My Search for My Mother's Life

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When we reach the age when our first parent died we have to come to a kind of realization that they didn't have any more than we're already had. Somewhere about then many of us start to reflect a bit on the life that that parent lived.

In my case it was a father who lived very poor in rural Arkansas. His father ... well this is not my family's story. It was later that I realized what he had gone through working in the hot Louisiana sun to give me a couple of college degrees.

I wish that I had the way with words Mr. Freedman has to put down the story of his mother's life. Indeed I'd like to have even researched my father's life as extensively as he has his mothers.

It was certainly a different life in the East Bronx than it was in the Arkansas Ozarks. I don't think better, or worse, just different. Mr. Freedman's grandmother had a major and not necessarily beneficial impact on his mother's life. My father's mother had died when he was six (childbirth).

Mr. Freedman has taken this story beyond just the story of one lady, it's a tale of the life of new immigrants living the Depression Era American Jewish experience. It's a good tribute to Eleanor Freeman. It's also a good tribute to Samuel Freedman.

He, like I, think of the casual cruelty we caused our parents. We'd like to go back and fix a few things, say a few things. But we can't. Instead, we smile and think of the things our kids have done, and we don't mind.

Mr. Freedman, your mother is, I think, looking down on you with pride, as I think my father is with me -- even though we know we don't deserve it.

The first page grabbed my attention, and the following pages would not let me go. Samuel Freedman's reportorial handiwork, digging out and writing his own mother's story, yields a deeply involving tale. I liked the rich slice of American history that he shows us, tracking his mother's upbringing in the Jewish neighborhoods of the Bronx. But even more, I liked watching the development of a young American woman, struggling against an overbearing mother, exploring the world of exciting young men, suffering through a difficult first marriage and finally becoming a mother of three herself, only to be tragically stricken with cancer and early death. Thousands of other American women lived similar lives, but few have their story brought to life as beautifully as this one. I was touched by how Freedman recalls with shame his own behavior as a typically headstrong teenager, asserting his independence from his mother, and how, after her death, he failed to visit her grave. This book is a loving effort to get to know and commemorate his mother as she really was, by employing his considerable skills as a journalist, historian and writer. I found it quite moving.

I found Freedman's account of his mother to be melacholy and moving. All our parents remain a mystery to us when they live, more so when they die. Freedman's rejection of his mother in life and embrace is death is deeply touching.

I could not put this book down....it's fantastic! The author, whose mother died when he was a college student, pieces together her pre-motherhood life to create a wonderful story of a complex young woman...a woman who, to paraphrase his words, peaked at a young age and spent the rest of her life trying to capture that success. I appreciate the emotional and literary efforts Mr Freedman put into this book...it was a joy to read and gave me lots of food for thought. Highly recommend!

My mother grew up in the Bronx not all that far (in time and place) from Freedman's mother Eleanor, so I found this book both nostalgic and deeply touching. Even if I didn't know first-hand about shopping at Alexander's, going to Loew's Paradise, and commuting to City College, I would find this book engrossing.

By tracing his mother's teenage and early adult years and the shifting relationships with family and friends, he shows how her decisions and attitudes influenced who she became--and why she kept her earlier life a mystery from those closest to her. Insightful, with a powerful yet very personal ending. Highly recommended.

Sam's insight to the era of the Bronx shows the underlying warmth and respect he has for his family. I could not put the book down; reading well into the night; hours passing quickly. We can all relate, Jewish or non- Jew. They were tough times, not necessarily blessed with opportunities; and especially so for a bright woman with what could have been an even brighter future had she been born in more contemporary times. Thank you for sharing your Mom's life with us. You did it in a beautiful and literary way.
I gained insight into Fannie's family; folks I have known, loved, respected and whose friendship I have cherished for almost 50 years.
Thank you, Sam. Great job.

This is a moving tribute. The author makes the effort to know and understand his mother after she has died, in part because he senses he has been unfair to her while she lived. Freedman writes with understanding and sympathy of a woman who according to her son reached the peak of her emotional life at seventeen in a love forbidden her by her mother. Freedman tells of how his mother had to sacrifice her own wellbeing and desire for an education in order to help support her very poor family. He blames his grandmother for some of the dissatisfaction in his mother's life. At the same time he praises his grandmother for being the strong and ethical member of the family who cared about what was happening to her relatives in Europe during the Holocaust.
Freedman blames himself for his behavior as college student and teacher in refusing to acknowledge his mother's presence in the class. He does however indicate that there were many times in their life when he tried to do his best for her. For instance he tells of a story where he bought his mother a special kind of plant , and how disheartened he was when after a few weeks it wilted. His mother comforted him in this.
It would be nice to think that she knows of his devotion to him and looking down from Heaven is filled with pride and happiness for her son's devotion to her in telling her story.