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Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life Paperback – September 12, 2004


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Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life + In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People + Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
Price for all three: $30.50

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (September 12, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071446729
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071446723
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (89 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #63,048 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"She helps readers recognize manipulation, and assess and reduce their own vulnerability, and teaches resistance tactics to use when faced with manipulation."

From the Back Cover

A powerful program to free yourself from manipulators--and regain control of your life

Millions of people, both men and women, can become involved in relationships with manipulators--people who control through emotional manipulation, insults, and mind games. These "toxic" relationships erode self-esteem and make life miserable for the victim. Whether the manipulator is a relative, a spouse or romantic partner, a boss, coworker, or subordinate, or even a trusted friend or advisor, Dr. Harriet B. Braiker, bestselling author of The Disease to Please, shows you how to break this damaging cycle for good.

Who's Pulling Your Strings? will help you end a current destructive relationship, understand how it occurred--and prevent you from ever getting involved in a manipulative relationship again. Using revealing self-assessment quizzes, action plans, and how-to exercises, Dr. Braiker empowers you to:

  • Recognize the signs of a manipulative relationship
  • Spot manipulators and their typical ways of operating
  • Assess your own vulnerability to manipulation
  • Identify the 7 main "Head Games" manipulators play
  • Utilize effective resistance tactics against manipulator's efforts
  • Transform yourself from a "soft" to a "hardened" target
  • Extricate yourself from manipulative relationships that do not change
  • Protect yourself from falling prey to manipulators' control in the future
  • Stop others from pulling your strings once and for all

With insight, compassionate advice, and self-affirming strategies, Dr. Braiker helps you end any manipulative relationship and regain control of your life--starting right now.


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Customer Reviews

Very well written and very informative.
venita
By reading this book and applying the suggestions and solutions I am in a much much better position in my life.
KOURKOULOS NIKOS
Best book to help one over come the vicious cycle of manipulation.
Cathryn A. Sheeran

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

161 of 164 people found the following review helpful By Sharon on October 18, 2008
Format: Paperback
I found this book extremely helpful in explaining the syndrome of manipulation, and more importantly, it gave me some practical advice for responding and feeling less like a victim. I learned two stark realities from reading it. First of all, do not attempt to reason with a manipulator, as their feelings and needs are all that matter to them and you are wasting your time. These personalities seldom change. Coming to terms with this helped trememdously in releasing frustration. Secondly, manipulation continues because it works - period. One must break the cycle of success, and this book gives some solid tools to facilitate just that.
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76 of 76 people found the following review helpful By XtinaBena on March 6, 2009
Format: Paperback
This book was soooo helpful and I really felt empowered by the practical help that she offers. It's an easy read and very comforting. The best parts are: the insights she offers that explain what goes on in the dynamic between manipulator and "target"; what a manipulator thinks; why the "target" always gets stuck with people like manipulators; you can't reason with a manipulator beause of their insecurities but you can reason with your own insecurities; and best of all are the practical ways you can change your behavior to take back the power. I like that the author addresses your own behavior and actions, the easiest thing to manage in situations like these.
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76 of 78 people found the following review helpful By S. L. Hale on July 29, 2004
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
This book is a must read if you've been in any sort of manipulative relationship weather it be romantic, friendships, or family related. Not only are the hints helpful in recognizing WHEN you're being manipulated, but it provides the tools necessary to combat manipulative situations. Every aspect of this book applied in my life somewhere and in multiple areas such as work, home, love, family, and friends. A MUST read for everyone as we've all been prey to manipulators at one time or another.

On an alternate note, there are also scenarios in this book that might make you think of a time or times that you have manipulated others. It's helpful to have these pointed out and be conscious of your own manipulative tactics even if you weren't aware of them previously.
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31 of 33 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 29, 2004
Format: Hardcover
Dr.Braiker made understanding "manipulation" easy. Kudos to a book well written. Searching for books to learn what manipulation IS is hard to come by. Sometimes in our fast paced world we are so caught up that the art of manipulation can cause denial even to "seemingly" intellegent people. My work environnment was so covertly manipulated by its owner that I preferred to look the other way, due to building a company, rather than force myself into realizing how detrimental my environnment was. Peoples live have been ruined. Whether your in a bad relationship on a personal or professional level Dr. Braiker will defintely help you understand, and ultimately help you gain Your-Self back.
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18 of 18 people found the following review helpful By average dude on October 30, 2012
Format: Audio CD Verified Purchase
Who's Pulling Your String gave me essential information on how to act in sadly a bullying situation that I had remained in for years. I strongly believe in personalities being the primary cause of most relationship discord and not the symptoms, i.e. money, honesty, lack of sex, etc. that gets named as cause by most. This mainly gives you insight into how you are being manipulated, how to try to stop it, and if no attempts are successful - as she puts it - EXTRACTION. This was my only option as all attempts at stopping it were unsuccessful. It was the best decision of my life and gave me the impetus for change that would not have happened had I not listened and followed this advice. This book essentially gave me a new life that I am living with all I got until its gone.
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21 of 23 people found the following review helpful By JinDallas on July 22, 2009
Format: Paperback
Once again Harriet Braiker provides a wake up call and this time it's about manipulators. Not only does she help us recognize the manipulators in our lives but also provides guidance on how to break free from it. Manipulators can show up anywhere in our lives and this book provides great insight on how to be come a harder target for manipulation now and in the future.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Michael A. P. on October 18, 2010
Format: Hardcover
I have been manipulated by people close to me and this is helping me see. It ticks me off that I allowed folks to control me by influencing me to settle for less than what I want in exchange for what they want for me. Who's life is this?..Who has it been?...Whom will it be should be no question.

One more thing! The book names the some of the types of people who control and manipulate. I took initiative by reading and rereading the DSM-IV codes 301.2X to 301.9Z. OMG I think I know some of these people. What scares me about learning this is applying what I read to folks I know. Whoa!
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24 of 28 people found the following review helpful By Fugitive from Mediocrity on April 18, 2007
Format: Hardcover
Although I purchased this book in order to better cope with the inevitable interactions with my daughter's father, I discovered much more. Those little problems I was having at work...I was convinced that my high stress levels (with said ex) where causing me to forget things become easily confused & constantly find myself with too much work to do.

She was a stealth manipulator hiding behind a sweet, pious facade. I brought some of these indications to my boss's attention & we instantly realized that we, both were her victims!!

To be able to spot 'em a mile away: An invaluable skill.
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